I Dont Even - Blog Posts

grantorsofdark-disgrace

3 weeks ago

Talking about fanfiction with my group chat and everytime they ask what my favourite fanfics for certain ships are I just have to deflect the conversation because my favourite fics just so happen to be written in october and they don't want to match my freak (the freaky little guys make me cry over them for 30+ chapters)

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ao3 kinktober shin soukoku and time loop but they're so good vampire au i didnt even search for the tag on i just accidentally stumbled across a really good fic and now im stuck reading pure smut and being able to genuinely say “i read it for the plot” are kinktober fics allowed to make me cry because they do ?? every time i read this one author like stop with the ??? cabin that eventually leads to marriage because i am eating it up every time i dont even match the freak that often if im honest or not to this level i will admit this is such a random post but it happens every time and they seem to find me peculiar for saying my favourite fanfiction is a 30+ chapter fic heavily focused on them banging but also with themes of extreme angst and thinking theyd lost the other one because in one of them one escaped the timeloop first and the other had to watch their partner stop remembering the new loops while trying to get out and in the other ??? atsushi nearly died also these are is it obvious i forgot how many days are in october and dont want to google it orrrrr

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bob243

3 months ago

Remembrance

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i dont even I don't know what to say just woah

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willapines618

2 weeks ago

E WTF IM LITERALLY GONNA CRY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

E. THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN FOR THE STAN FUCKING DIES TO THE MEMORY GUN AU (very succinct i know) HAVE ME IN A GODDAMN CHOKEHOLD. HOW DID YOU MAKE "YOU'RE OUR HERO STANLEY" EVEN SADDER????? ford saying that to stan as he's dying is SO. OUHHHHHHHHVGGHHGHHGG. i need to take a walk. 👍

Hello. I hope you're back from your walk because I'm about to hit you again.

I tried to make it come across in the story (idk if I did that well enough) but after Ford fires the memory gun, Stan doesn't die RIGHT AWAY.

The human brain is kinda. Squishy. And there's a level of disconnect between the brain and the body. It's been hypothesized that human death takes a LOT LONGER than we think, hence why people can be "dead" for minutes at a time and seemingly come back to life with no real explanation. But brain death has pretty much been agreed to be the end all of death, give or take the 7 minutes theory (which you all should go Google, that shit is WILD)

Basically, Ford straight up killed his brother with the memory gun. Yanked the memories (and the funtion) straight out of Stan's brain, which shut it down.

The memory gun was so invasive that it made Stan's brain forget how to be a brain. It no longer functioned, at all.

Without a brain telling them what to do, the heart and lungs sort of just. Stopped. Working all together. No lungs means no oxygen, so Stan's brain kind of just suffocated and died.

Now TRADITIONALLY, this process would have probably taken like. The three minutes it took for the air in Stan's lungs to run out, the minute or so when his body went "AW FUCK THE AIR" but didn't (couldnt) do anything because the brain is mush, and then another six or seven minutes where the brain suffocated and hemorrhaged and the heart stopped.

Don't quote me on this, I'm not a doctor.

All of this to say, Stan was alive, but not breathing, for a few minutes after the first impact of the memory gun, which gave enough time for A, Bill Cipher to kick it (he's DEAD NOW WHOOO VICTORY) and for the world to put itself back together again.

It also gave his brain enough time to take in the smallest input, mainly, to allow Stan in his last moments to be aware of Ford speaking, calling, and then shaking him, trying to shake him away, trying to wake him up. Trying to get him to breathe.

But the brain is gone. It's mush, up and went kaput. And Ford would have realized this, probably quickly.

There's not. Really anything to do here. Theres no wound to mend, no cpr is going to work, no amount of electricity can make Stan's heart work again if the brain is gone. If they'd have gotten to a hospital fast enough to get Stan on life support, the hospital would have declared him brain dead anyway.

There's nothing to do here.

So Ford holds his brother. Squeezes, and tries to come up with something on the spot, something that Stan might understand, just a little bit.

"You're our hero, Stanley."

So Stan, drifting out as his spirit is plucked from his body, hears that, but he doesn't know what it means. It isn't until later that he hears it again, that he understands.

Also, side note! The reason Ford doesn't see this memory (and thus believes Stan's last moments were full of fear) is because this happens AFTER the memory gun is shot. This is a memory Stan remembers all on his own, and it helps him remember EVERYTHING.

Im not going to regaile you with what I think Stan's funeral was like (that might be TOO sad, even for me to do that to you) but i think its important to add that Stan's death was painless.

Utterly, and completely. His last moments, his exact last moments, with Ford holding him, were comfortable. If you were to ask Stan, saving the world and then dying, at home, is exactly where he would have wanted to be.