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Until I started passing as a cis man, I didn't realize how horribly I was treated compared to them. Yes, I struggle being trans, but my life has improved significantly in how I'm treated by those who assume I'm cisgender. I honestly feel privileged that I get to experience both ends of the spectrum because I'm able to share just how drastic the change is.
things that happened to me when i was a woman in STEM:
an advisor humiliated me in front of an entire lab group because of a call I made in his place when he wouldn't reply to my e-mails for months
he later delegated part of my master's thesis work to a 19-year old male undergrad without my approval
a male scientist at a NASA conference looked me up and down and asked when i was graduating and if i was open to a job at his company. right before inquiring what my ethnicity was because i "looked exotic"
a random male member of the public began talking over me and my female advisor, an oceanographer with a pHD and decades of experience, saying he knew more about oceanography than us
things that have happened to me since becoming a man in STEM:
being asked consistently for advice on projects despite being completely new to a position
male colleagues approaching me to drop candid information regarding our partners / higher ups that I was not privy to before
lenience toward my work in a way I haven't experienced before. incredible understanding when I need to take time off to care for my family.
conference rooms go silent when I start talking. no side chatter. I get a baseline level of attention and focus from people that's very unfamiliar and genuinely difficult for me to wrap my head around.
like. yes some PI's will still be assholes regardless of the gender of their subordinates but, I've lived this transition. misogyny in STEM is killing women's careers, and trans men can and do experience male privilege.