Midnights - Blog Posts

everything popular is wrong

oscar wilde

i am littered by imperfections

and scarred through carvings unspoken, red and bleeding from my heart.

where it is deformed are my insecurities, aching, palpitating, alive like a vicious monster which manifests itself and plunges out of my chest.

it tears my heart and brains inside out, searching to pick up broken shards of my flaws. it points the sharpest edges of the shard and drags it along my raw, hot flesh, warm blood spilling all over the floor.

but all the things i hold dear keep my heart beating, and so it gathers flesh, blood and veins and puts everything together again.

and i find my way of life to keep living. i cling onto those precious things and beliefs that keep me going.

but you just have to invalidate those things, my struggles, and that hideous monster scratching at the thin walls of my heart.

my heart absorbs every suffering of mine. it screams in pain. and grows in size. until it eats up my organs to be as large as my torso. my enlarged heart suffocates me as it beats hard and fast within, as if begging to be let out. but now i have to go to you, i miss you, i love you.

so i crawl towards you, leaving pools of blood and tears behind.

“please, hold me, i’m going to burst. i miss you so much, my love.”

there you are, standing tall. your figure is reflected in my blood-shot pupils, and the soft glow of light and love enveloping you stands stark against the glossy crimson spreading from the whites of my eyes.

“love, please. i’m naive and stupid, but can’t you see i love you so much? please don’t be disgusted. please don’t turn away from me. i’m sorry i’m so annoying.”

then, you kneel down, closer and closer to me. my light, my love, you’re about to hold me again, i’m so happy —

my skin tears apart with a snap. it bursts out of my body, and my head melds into the life-sized heart that is beating loudly, bleeding waterfalls of blood on the floor.

you pull away from the gruesome sight. you’re soaked in blood from head to toe, and sick of seeing the deformations that are alive by themselves, still bending and twisting my heart grotesquely. so you stand up and leave.

inside of the heart is a small version of myself. i call out for you, and wait for you, and scream for you and cry for you, but it is futile now.

so now i bleed for you, knowing you just squashed my feelings to pulps of flesh on the floor.

“what is wrong with me?”

“it is because you’re hard to be loved.”

“no, it’s not. it’s because we were too young…”

i really hated boys. but for the first time, i trusted you to love me.

you gave your naive love, but i gave you my bleeding heart.

i loved you with all of my heart, i really loved you.

i shouldn’t give a fuck, and i really hate to see you, but i just don’t understand myself… why i keep haunting myself with thoughts of looking at you from afar, for the last time.

but i’ll try to be like you. i won’t come looking for you. i will leave those ugly thoughts alone, just like how you were determined to leave me then.

let’s not see each other for the rest of our lives.

midnights is the daughter of reputation and 1989, the sister of fearless and speak now, the niece of lover and red and the cousin of folklore. evermore and debut are just the really cool best friends

I think everyone is misinterpreting Anti-Hero

“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me” is SARCASM

I think this song is about the fact that entertainment industries constantly preach positivity of the body or being yourself, but they never actually put it into practice. So people within the industry still feel the negative effects while everyone on the outside is convinced that body positivity and authentic personalities are being advocated for. The Anti-Hero is the industry.

It must be exhausting always rooting for the ANTI-HERO

Taylor ISN’T actually the problem. How a person’s body is isn’t an issue, how people live or live isn’t an issue, and the industry will pretend it isn’t an issue, but they still won’t allow these things to be showcased.

The industry is body positive, but most entertainers still have major body issues. The industry supports lgbtq people, until one of their artists is a queer person. Then it’s put under the radar and hidden.

I could probably go deeper into this but there’s my Ted talk

No one else is talking abt this???

Midnights MAYhem, May underlined, and track 13?

As soon as she did this I immediately thought, she never just lets fate decide, I’m 99% certain all those ping pong balls said 13

She is so loud

Honestly, I completely understand why Taylor Swift would hide her queerness. Not only because is the safest option for her but because she is a petty queen. Imagine being told you have to hide who you are to archieve your dreams. Then you worked hard and followed the rules. You get crushed sometimes, but that is okay, because you recover and go back bigger than ever. You live your love in secret, hiding in plan sight, only for the ones that are like you to see. Then you are higher than you ever been. You are not great but the greatest.

Now you reveal your queerness. Completely out for everyone to see, there is no deniying it now, it is imposible to do so.

Imagine crushing the persona that everyone has admired. Imagine destroying the God they have created and worshipped, the one that you hated so much, just by being yourself.

What a beautiful satisfying revenge would be to change the paradigma so quikly, just by being freely and unshamedly yourself. What an amazing feeling would be to laugh at everyones face by saying: "hey, the thing you have adored all your life, she doesnt exist. I have been lying to you in order to be loved, and the people you call dumb or crazy or delusional for reading what I was saying, for seeing through my lies were right"

By the way, this is kind of the premise of mastermind and dear reader (and the midnights album as a whole). Just in case you were wondering.

Seeing that I thought, isnt midnights an experimental album that has songs written all throught Taylor life?? The ones that she is confessing all her truth (or the one she wants to share)?? If that is correct, then what she is impliying is that all her music, more specifically, the vault tracks, are her real thruth. To me, it just feels like a call for us to listen to her music and what she writes about (she is first and foremost a storyteller) more than about the narrative that she so loudly sells to the world.

Also, being a little bit more delusional, I think at the end of it, we will get out of the night and step into the daylight, whatever that means. For my personal bias, I think is a coming out of some short or something like that, but I think she is going to reveal some kind of groundbraking truth when this era is over.

I saw someone else doing this so i thought i would join in

In honor of Taylor’s 35th Birth-TAY here’s my top 13 favorite Taylor Swift songs:

1. Delicate

2. Back to December

3. Nothing New ft. Phoebe Bridgers

4. Dear John

5. New Year’s Day

6. this is me trying

7. Hits Different

8. Now That We Don’t Talk

9. Picture to Burn

10. I Hate It Here

11. Haunted

12. Our Song

13. Mean

It’s all or nothing. Sad or hype lol no in between

What's a girl gonna do? A diamond's gotta shine!

over the years with taylor❤️❤️❤️ (obviously no folklore and evermore because of covid #sad)

okay idc what anyone says but if The Great War was on literally any other album it would totally be on either folklore or evermore i have decided on that yet, gonna have to re-listen to both of them

Finally finished 🌸🌹⚘️🌷🪻🌼