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Looks like I'm slowly becoming a TEIN fluff artist. Or Ash/Friend artist. Oh noooo... However. At least now I know my place in this world. Hi-res (it's free!)
love is a beautiful thing and although it can be painful I would encourage everyone to do it and do it often without the hesitation of "what if I get hurt?" you will get hurt but why is that so frightening? have you no trust in your own ability to be hurt and get over it? how silly when your whole life is a testament to your resilience
hey. hey.
wanting attention is not a bad thing. wanting people to care about you is not selfish. itâs okay to want people to listen to you. you donât need to do anything to deserve love. love is not a finite resource; we hold enough of it in our hearts to love each other every single day of the year. you deserve to be loved every single day of the year. donât forget that.
i think ptolomaea by ethel cain is one of the most brilliantly crafted songs iâve ever listened to.
the way it opens with this distorted deeper voice (isaiah) and you hear the sound of flies buzzing in the background underneath the voice, thats such a cool detail. and while isaiah is singing, you hear ethel incoherently mumble (you literally hear her say âmama?â its so đđ) as sheâs waking up from the drugs. when we finally hear her voice, itâs high pitched, raw, and vulnerable. because of how vulnerable of a situation she is in, but she doesnât realize it yet because of the drugs sheâs on. so this whole beginning is echoey and it captures the whole aloneness sheâs feeling.
and then we get a beat drop at âeven the iron still fears the rot,â where the instrumentals are a little heavier, her voice is still high and raw but thereâs a sense of knowing in it. (âhiding from something, i cannot stop. walking on shadows, i cant lead him backâ) as her hallucinations and the drugs start to wear off, sheâs facing this darkness thatâs been eating away at her with âdaddyâs left and mama wonât come home,â which is something she rarely comes to terms with.
then we get that dark distorted voice again saying âyou poor thing, sweet morning lamb. thereâs nothing you can do, itâs already been done,â which is incredibly terrifying. not to mention that deafening crash of the drums, god the way those drums thunder so intensely like you can feel the dread in your bones. and then we hear ethelâs voice again saying âwhat fear a man like you brings upon a woman like me? please dont look at me..â which refers to when isaiah tells her to âshow me your face,â during that line. and sheâs pleading for him to stop looking at him, you canât hear it because itâs in the background but he says âcome here,â and right after you hear ethel say âi can see it in your eyes, tell me, what have you done?â which then goes into a sea of begs and pleas for him to âstop, stopâ until the final âstopâ is not sung, but instead a bone chilling shrill shriek. which is cut off by âi am the face of loveâs rage.â and if you listen to the acapella, during âi am the face of loveâs rage,â right underneath that main vocal, you hear a second high pitched scream, you hear bundles ânoâsâ and even a âno! please!â which i think ties the story really well together.
in the acapella, while âblessed be the daughters of cain,â is being read out, you can hear the gargling and choking noises as ethel is struggling to breathe and as sheâs literally dying its really sickening but so well executed from an artist perspective. and then at the very very end, you hear a death rattle like that is INSANE
i love ptolomaea, i love how the instrumentals create such a unique atmosphere that makes it as terrifying as it sounds and how hayden uses her voice in different ways to tell the story effectively. and it works, it all works.
ptolomaea is the best song on preacherâs daughter thank you for coming to my ted talk
Youâre tired. Burnt out. Exhausted. Stressed.
This lowers your capacity for emotional regulation.
Youâll cry more easily. Get dragged into low moods more easily. Simple little things where youâre like âdang, that shouldnât hit so hard,â will wallop you.
This will trick you into thinking youâre weak and canât handle life. A loser.
Not so my friend.
Itâs a signal that you need a nap, need to allow for more sleep at night, need to prioritize and scale back on what you can accomplish in a day, need to take a mental health day or even a leave.
Somethingâs got to give.
But!
Itâs not your self worth.
and of course the classic