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day 27 - you don’t understand - blackinnon - @blackinnonfest
“it’s not that simple,” said marlene.
they weren’t exactly fighting, but it felt strangely similar.
“i don’t get it. a few months ago you weren’t speaking to me cause you thought i was taking you for granted, that i was using you somehow, while i thought we were on the same fucking boat, mind you.” sirius paused, taking a second to compose himself before continuing. “so we talked through it and fixed things or so i thought, cause how in the hell are we in the same situation again, marls?” he wasn’t exactly desperate, but exasperated more like.
marlene could barely stand to watch him in the eyes, so she was grateful they were on the move again.
“it’s not the same, not at all” she replied.
“no, you’re right. you’re right it’s not. it’s worse. cause this time i know you want to be with me much as i want to be with you and yet you flinch every time i breath near you.” sirius was on the edge of screaming, but they weren’t supposed to be making any noise, trying to sneak back into the gryffindor tower before a prefect caught them.
“i told you, it’s not that easy” she repeated for the tenth time that day, trying to keep up with his longer strides.
“you haven’t told me shit, mckinnon. why do you resist taking the easy way into this?” finally, sirius had stopped and turned to look at her.
and again, marlene wanted nothing more than to look at anything but him.
because how could she explained to him that she was terrified. frightened. even more so than the time she had finally explained to him why she felt so hurt last time he had ditched her for some other girl while expecting her to be there once he got bore.
that being a teenage witch was an entirely different thing than being a teenage wizard. and that there were layers to it as well, because sirius black wasn’t just any wizard, even if he was, according to the one and only howler walburga had ever sent him last year, the disgrace of the family.
sirius wasn’t free of them, not really. marlene had the suspicion that still, everything he did or didn’t do was a statement back to his family, whether it was on purpose or not. he couldn’t help being who he was much more than she could blame herself for falling for him.
because she had fallen for that stupid, smug faced moron. yes, moron. not that insulting him on her mind and frequently to his face had made much for her.
she had still being stupid enough to fall for the boy.
and worse than loving him? was the fact that for whatever reason, he loved her back. well, liked her back at least. enough so that he had been pushing for them to go public, to stop with all the secrecy and running around.
but she couldn’t, it scared her too much.
“are you…?” started sirius, taking a breath in. “are you done with me?” he finally asked.
marlene couldn’t be sure with all the darkness around them, but there was something akin to hurt in sirius’ eyes.
“what?” marlene mouth opened in surprise at the question, the implications of it.
“seems to me the only logical explanation”
“no, that’s not… i told you, it’s not—“
“that simple, yes, i’ve heard.” frustrated this time, sirius passed a hand through his face. they were near the entrance to the tower now. “i’ll make it easier for you then” he said and marlene knew before he said it where this was gonna end up.
she braced herself for it, cause really, what else could she do?
sirius took a while longer before speaking, as if expecting her to say or do something to stop him, but nothing came.
“alright then, we’re finish. i’m finish” and after that, he turn around, gave the password to the fat lady and marlene saw him disappear behind the portrait.
she felt her heart clenched in her chest, her whole body going cold.
trying to console herself over the fact that, at least, they wouldn’t have to explain anything to their friends, she followed him into the tower only to fall apart once she reached her bed.
who would’ve bet that she would’ve been the one to fucked it all up.
day 15 - if you even need to think twice - blackinnon - @blackinnonfest
marlene was resting over his chest, completely naked except for the sheet with which sirius have covered them both.
he was mindlessly tracing figures with his fingers on her back, mesmerised by the sight of her: cheeks flushed, eyes shining, hair completely tousled as if she just landed on the pitch after flying around on her broom.
sirius knew marlene wasn’t into quidditch for the sport, but for the adrenaline, same as him.
“i think i’m falling in love with you” he whispered, only realizing he said it at loud once he felt marlene tense up on top of him.
he meant it, though.
“i love you” he repeated, louder this time.
marlene got to her knees, wrapping the sheet around her torso, covering herself.
sirius propped himself up on his forearms, looking at her.
“i… wasn’t expecting that” she finally admitted, mouth hang half open, genuine shock in her eyes.
sirius waited, his heart suddenly clenched behind his ribs.
several seconds passed before marlene dared speak again.
“i’m trying to think of the right thing to say here.”
he swallowed hard, trying to hide the fact that just then, marlene had hurt him.
he wouldn’t show it, though.
“if you have to think about it then i guess the answer is pretty obvious. i just wish i hadn’t wasted my time” he blurted out, finally siting himself properly, feet on the carpet on the opposite side of the bed.
“that’s not fair.”
there was a tinge of hurt in marlene’s voice, but that, sirius thought, wasn’t fair. not to him, not after what he just admitted.
“no fair?” he questioned, rising his voice slightly. “what’s fair about the fact that you’d rather believe those stupid rumors going around instead of me? you know who are the girls that say all that shit? the ones i’ve never given the time of day. they’re the ones who need to convince themselves that i’m some sort of ruthless casanova.”
“you say that as if you’re this sort open book, like i have to had you all figured it out by now” she replied, her voice even know.
“like you’re much better!.” he finally turned to watch her. “you’re the one who wanted to keep this under wraps, remember?!” he shouted, pointing at the general direction of the castle with his arm.
marlene was taken aback.
“you’d think the way i treated would clear things up for you. but maybe you weren’t paying attention, what with all the boys you’ve been talking to lately.” it was a low blow, but he didn’t care.
“fuck you, black!” marlene shouted, getting to her feet and rapidly putting on her clothes on.
“right back at you, mckinnon!” he fired back just as she had slammed the door of his room behind her.
seconds later, james came into the room looking bewildered.
“what was that?” he asked while taking in the scene he just entered in.
“nothing that matters” sirius answered, getting to his feet and passing james on his way to the bathroom.
day 22 - one night stand - muggle au - blackinnon - @blackinnonfest
it had been the first time sirius had ever ditched his bike but the ride to his place on the back of the cab had been well worth it.
they both were drunk, though he had a feeling marlene would have jump to his lap even in broad daylight without caring about the driver.
once in his street, they both had stumbled out of the car, still locking lips.
it had been all muscle memory the walk from the stairs through the door and all the way to his bedroom.
he might be drunk, but a girl like that deserved to be worshipped in bed.
with a yelp, marlene fell backwards onto the matress while sirius took out his shirt. his leather jacket long forgotten on the corridor alongside marlene’s short dress.
they were a tangled mess of sweat, saliva and dangling chains. marlene’s wrists and collarbones where full of silver and her fingers full of rings that every once in a while got tangled in sirius’ hair.
he didn’t care.
he kissed her as if he was drinking her out, like he had lived in a desert for most of his life and had only known water once he tasted her lips.
marlene’s jaw moved at the same compass as his and her tongue was doing dangerous things to the most primitive parts of his brain.
“fuck” he hissed.
“thought that’s what we were doing” she laughed.
he imagined all the possibilities of what that tongue could do but first, he was gonna have a taste of her.
all of her.
sirius black - azkaban prison - thinking of marlene right before PoA
they weren’t happy memories. not exactly.
he often reminisced about his time back at hogwarts. back at the potter’s. back in his flat. but those memories were so twinged now with grief that they held no real comfort.
sometimes, and he really couldn’t tell whether it was at his lowest moments or not. could there be anything lower than rotting away in a cell in azkaban for a crime he didn’t committed? did it even matter now that everyone he once cared about was dead o had betrayed him?
not all of them.
there it was. the voice. her voice. so clear as if she was just sitting next to him, whispering in his ear.
that happened sometimes, more often that he'd cared to admit.
he sometimes followed her voice, dreaming they were, actually, together. that nothing that has happened had been real, that it all had been a long, terrifying nightmare and they were still both warm and… alive.
you are, sirius.
am i?
sirius could honestly not tell the difference between sleep or awake, it was all the same. he either dreamed of better times or was haunted by the memories.
sometimes sirius wished he couldn’t hear her or even remember her. it was bad enough he couldn’t get away from the memories of james and lily and poor little harry, who was real and alone and turn a orphan. how long has it been? he was probably twelve. or thirteen now.
but marlene?
marlene had left him long before all that.
marlene had once represented hope and that, sirius had come to realize after years of imprisonment, was worse than the utter devastation of having lost them all. specially since there were none of that, anymore. hope.
she had died, younger even, than the potters.
it was such a twisted thing, he thought. his life had always been so utterly twisted. he shouldn't ought to be so surprised over the fact that, while they had arguably won the war, he had lost everything.
not everything, came the voice, again.
there were other voices too, come to noticed. of real people near his cell.
reluctantly, sirius opened his eyes and then he saw it, right there in front in him, the picture of a big happy family posing against the pyramids on the front page of the daily prophet.
and a fat fucking rat sat on top of one of the sons shoulders.
sirius: i kissed her.
james: what?
remus: when?
peter: who?
sirius: about a month ago.
james: how am i just finding out?
remus: did she… kissed you back?
peter: who are we talking about?
remus: marlene.
sirius: yes. no. i don’t know, what does it matter?
remus: your kidding, right? tell me you’re joking.
james: how can you not know that?
peter: mckinnon?
sirius: yes, peter, how many marlene’s have you met? and no, i’m not joking. i mean, i understand how fundamental it is to know if a girl kiss you back or not, but we didn’t have time. i had to leave.
remus: you kissed her and then ran? and you wonder why she isn’t crawling back for more like the rest of them?
sirius: we were in the middle of “the plan”! james was there, he was calling me, that’s why i left.
james: how could i’ve been there when i just found out you kissed marlene?
sirius: you came after it happened.
james: so i interrupted you?
sirius: no. yes. what does it matter? i kissed her and then left. it was a busy day.
james: you don’t say…
remus: you left her cause you had to pulled a stupid prank?
james: hey, don’t take it out on “the plan”, it was brilliant!
sirius: that’s not the point, prongs.
james: right, sorry.
peter: what is the point though?
remus: the point is that sirius is a complete idiot. it amazes me how you managed to fool every girl in the castle into wanting to go out with you.
peter: except the one he wants.
sirius: thanks for that.
james: so what happened afterwards? when you saw her again, i mean.
sirius: nothing.
james: nothing?
remus: you haven’t talked to her since?
sirius: we’ve talked, just… not about that. it all has been normal, as if nothing happened.
james: are you sure you kissed and you didn’t… imagine it?
peter: oh, i’ve been there.
sirius: unlike you, peter, i don’t need to fantasize to get a girl to kiss me.
remus: don’t take it out on peter. it isn’t his fault you kissed her and then ran away.
sirius: i didn’t ran away.
james: this is getting nowhere. what are you gonna do now?
sirius: that’s what i’m asking you lot.
day 6 - music festival (muggle au) - blackinnon - @blackinnonfest
Sirius presented her with a pair of rubber boots.
“What are those?” She asked.
“The perfect footwear for rainy days and skipping puddles.”
“It isn’t raining.”
“But it will be where we are going. Come now, put them on.”
“You’re joking, right? They’re hideous” she protested.
“Shouldn’t you be more concerned with where we are going?”
“If I worried for every little thing you planned for, we would never go anywhere. But must I get there with such ugly little things?”
There was nothing little about the boots. They were tall and yellow and screaming loudly at her to not try them on.
“Fine. You can have mine.” Sirius sighed.
Sirius produced a pair of black ones and Marlene knew all along he bought them in her size right from the beginning.
Later on at night, after driving all the way to the music festival and spending all day dancing and screaming at the top of their lungs for their favorite bands and songs, Marlene and Sirius found their way to their camp site.
They stumbled ungracefully into their tent, laughing loudly, half drunk and half deaf from all the music still banging in their ears.
Marlene lifted her legs up in the air, her black boots covered in mud now.
“Best fucking gift ever”
“What about the festival tickets?”
“Oh yeah, that too” Marlene laughed, slapping Sirius slightly in his chest and propping herself up to kiss him on the lips.
day 1 - "why are you here" “came to make sure you’re okay” - blackinnon - @blackinnonfest
“What are you doing here, McKinnon?” asked Sirius, sitting on the front porch.
“Making sure you’re alright, I guess” replied Marlene.
“Funny, coming from the girl who just hexed me a few minutes ago” replied Sirius, bitterly.
“You were being a jerk back there.”
Marlene was starting to regret coming after him, there was a reason she had been keeping her distance, after all.
“According to most people I’m always a jerk.”
He was being difficult, Marlene knew. Though probably it was her presence that was making things worse, she couldn’t be sure. A lot had happened lately, not only between the two, but with the war as well.
“I’m not most people, though, am I?” she tried, finally dropping down to sit next to him on the stairs.
Marlene looked up, trying to avoid Sirius’ stare.
It was a clear night and she could almost see the faint outline of the galaxy behind the stars.
“No” he answered, keeping his eyes fixed on her. “You most certainly are not”.