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Me: Okay, I have really bad joint pain and fatigue. My Sjögren’s syndrome and my pseudogout must be acting up. Google, how do I deal with Sjögren’s symptoms?
Google: You should stay active and get some exercise.
Me: okay, well that’ll be a little tough with how I’m feeling, but I can manage a walk or something. What should I do for the pseudogout?
Google: Rest. DO NOT exercise.
Me: Okay— okay but— but for my Sjögren’s, aren’t I supposed to—
Google: Yes for the Sjögren’s you should be moving moving moving don’t rest too much or it gets worse
Me: Okay well—
Google: But also remember the pseudogout DONT MOVE, don’t do anything, rest rest rest or your joints will be fucked forever
Me: I—
Google: But also get off the couch RIGHT NOW, your Sjögren’s, you need EXERCISE
Me: ….how am I supposed to—
Google: FUCK you