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Ron Slider Kerner - Blog Posts
Viper:
Iceman: I dunno what’s wrong with me, sir. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, maybe I’m coming down with something?!
Viper: O-hoho, I know what you’ve got, the L word.
Slider: Yeahhhh, leprosy!
Viper: No, Kener. It’s 4 letters, starts with L, ends with E.
Slider: …
Slider: A-ha! Lice!
This is perfect!
And violà! @kazanskys-mitchell
Mav + Slider: *running away from something/someone*
Carole: Should we help them?
Ice: *running after Mav + Slider*
Goose: Nah, I think they're okay
They were not
Slider: Why is Goose unconscious, and why is Mav dying on the floor, laughing?
Ice: Goose was going to hit his head on the doorframe so Maverick told him to duck, and he quacked at him. And then he hit his head.
Slider: *wheezes*
Slider: Why are you smiling?
Ice: What, I'm not allowed to smile just because I feel like it?
Goose: Maverick tripped and fell down the stairs...
Slider: lol.
Iceman: When I am rich *points at Slider* you're getting therapy, *points at Wolf* you're getting therapy, *points at Mav* you're getting double therapy. Everyone's HEALING.
Based on this:
"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
Maverick with Goose...
Mav: Goose, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Goose: Sure, honey.
OR
Goose: Hey, Mav, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Mav: A what?
Goose: A worm. Would you still love me?
Mav: Yeah, Goose, I'd still love you.
Maverick with Penny...
Mav: Penny?
Penny: Yeah?
Mav: You'd still love me if I was a worm, right?
Penny: *unimpressed/amused* Pete....
Mav: What???
Penny: *rolls eyes fondly* Yes. I'd still love you.
OR
Penny: Pete?
Mav: Mmm?
Penny: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Mav: *totally unphased* Yeah, of course.
Iceman with Slider...
Ice: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Slider: If you- What?? What do you- *stops* Actually. You know what? Sure, man. I'd love you if you were a worm.
OR
Slider: Hey, Ice, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Ice: Like, if you were always a worm, or if you got turned into one?
Slider: *shrugs*
Ice: *rolls eyes fondly* Sure, Ron.
Iceman with Sarah...
Sarah: Tom?
Ice: Yeah?
Sarah: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Ice: Of course.
OR
Ice: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Sarah: *laughing* What?
Ice: Humour me.
Sarah: *kisses him* Of course, love.
Ice and Mav with each other........
Ice: Mitchell, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Mav: *immediately* No, because you're annoying.
OR
Mav: Hey, Ice-
Ice: No.
Mav: What?
Ice: No. Do not ask me if I would still love you if you were a worm.
Mav: I WASN'T GOING TO!!!
BONUS ROUND!
Carole and Goose...
Carole: *yells across a room full of people* Hey, Goose, you'd still love me if I was a worm?
Goose: *yells back* Damn straight, Honey!
Carole: *blows him a kiss*
Hangman and Rooster...
Hangman: Hey, Bradshaw, would you love me if I was a a worm?
Rooster: *without looking up* Yeah, sure.
Hangman: Wait, what???
Phoenix: *manifesting out of nowhere* It's because if you were a worm you wouldn't be able to talk, Bagman.
Rooster: *silently high-fives Phoenix*
*Ice is causally taking a quiet walk one evening when suddenly two drunk people run past, yelling and chasing a raccoon, pursued by security*
Ice: Not my circus, not my monkeys...
*realising it was Maverick and Slider*
Ice: *running after them* My circus, my monkeys, my circus, my monkeys...
Maverick: Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Iceman: *facepalms* You're a hazard to society...
Slider: And a coward, do 20!
Had very mixed responses to this on Reddit. What do you guys think?
Top Gun Headcanons #3
After his death, Slider replaces Iceman as COMPACFLT.
When he enters the office for the first time, there is a neatly written note left on the desk:
Dear Admiral Kerner,
Have fun with Maverick.
- Ice.
Slider: GODDAMNIT, TOM!
Mav: it's a mental breakdown
Rest of the class: dooo do dooo do
Mav: Come to Top Gun! We have:
Mav: Meltdown monday.
Goose: Too tired tuesday.
Ice: Why am i here wednesday.
Slider: This week needs to end thursday.
Hollywood: Finally freakin friday.
Wolfman: Super lit saturday.
Chipper: Shit i have a lot to do sunday.
Art collab with @zeromav !!
I drew Goose and Zero drew Maverick and Slider
Collective agreement that Mav absolutely goes running to Goose if Slider gave him the smallest tap just to get the man in trouble even if Mav egged Slider on.. i love them
Base used
Hybrid au!!!
Again au inspo from @paxdracona !!
Totally didn’t forget about slider when doodling the bird au.. 🧍♂️
Maverick is a Fire Dragon, Ice is an Ice Dragon, Goose is a Werewolf, and Slider is a Harpy (+ Baby Goose)
Slider: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.
Mav: *sulks in the corner for the rest of the preflight*
Mav: This food is too hot... I cant eat it. Ice: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: *silence* Goose: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Slider: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!
Mav: Bad news—Goose locked themself outside of their own house. Mav: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Mav: Bad news—Slider finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys. Mav: Good news—a cute guy saw me do it. Mav: Bad news—it was Ice, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know.
Based on a True Story:
Ice and Goose: cooking.
Mav and Slider: Joking around at the end of the counter.
Slider: Mav, is the Microwave supposed to be smoking?
Mav looks over to see smoke pouring out of the microwave: ICE THE POTATOES ARE ON FIRE.
Ice running over and opening the microwave. Additional smoke comes out. The potatoes are fine: WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SMOKE COMIMG FROM THE POTATOES AREN'T BURNT.
The microwave begins making weird noises. More smoke come out, then the microwave makes a popping sound. and the smoke stops coming.
The Microwave caught on fire.
*slider balancing the bottle of whiskey he dared mav to down in one go*: let him continue goosey
mav, loudly clearing his throat and shaking out a VERY long sheet of paper: my dearest goose
goose, glancing up: yes?
mav, assuming a strong stance like he’s about to serenade him: my dearest nicky, words cannot express my adoration for you, nor my dedication to your side. nay, but I shall attempt anyways. your hair is silky like a really nice pillow, your eyes as deep as a river. your nose was drawn by the gods, and your mouth was painted with a rose.
goose, turning to mav’s literal boyfriend, eyes wide: you aren’t going to stop him???
ice, mav’s aforementioned literal boyfriend, turning the page in his book: if I stop him now, he’ll just start over
mav, getting louder: YOUR HANDS-
*dinner on base*
pete: tom i feel nauseous
tom: hm... baby have you eaten at all today?
pete: uhm
pete: ...
pete: do you count?
tom, exasperated: NO I DO NOT-
*ron somewhere in the distance banging his head into the wall*
HOT BESTIES SLAY TOGETHER
TOP GUN Tom "Iceman" Kazansky and his RIO, Ron "Slider" Kerner | 1986
Slider sat in the chair, the steady beeping of the heart monitor his only company. He looked over his best friend, still a commanding presence despite his current frailty. He rolled his neck on a sigh as he glanced at the clock.
He hoped to have two more hours before the whirlwind arrived. A glance at his phone revealed messages from Wood and Sarah. Wood is on his way to get the hurricane, Sarah was on her way back to the hospital.
Ron knew he needed to be strong today, they had all been blindsided by the speed of events. Tom was diagnosed three weeks ago and Mav was due back next week. Surgery was scheduled for the week after that, but when Tom collapsed in his office the day before, the timetable was thrown out the window.
Surgery had gone well, the pathology was not back, but the knew Tom would have some amount of follow up treatments. Sarah walked into the room, two large cups of coffee in his hand. As she passed him a cup, she trailed her hand over his shoulder, squeezing the right muscle. "Did you sleep at all?"
Ron lied through his exhausted smile, "Some. I'll be ok. He should be here soon." Sarah knew Ron was lying but they didn't say more as Tom groggily opened his eyes. "Tom, you can't talk, don't try." Sarah's voice was kind, but firm. Tom pushed himself to open his eyes wider. He looked around the room, disappointment apparent on his face as a scanned the room. Ron stepped forward, "Don't do that Tommy. He's on his way. You blindsided us all yesterday. Wood's on his way to get him."
Tom nodded and opened his lips. Ron shook his head fiercely, "NO TALKING!" Sarah slid the whiteboard into Tom's left hand and a pen in his right. "Surgery?" He wrote, handwriting shaky.
A voice from behind answered, "Admiral, nice to see you awake. Surgery went well. We got the margins, but we are going to make a treatment plan. It's too soon to know about your voice yet. Don't try to use it if you ever want it back." Tom nodded in understanding, appreciating the directness of his surgeon. As soon as the doctor cleared the door, the sounds of running boots echoed through hall.
Sarah and Ron stepped away from the bed, clearing the space for the runner. The boots skidded to a halt outside the door before making their way into the room. Pete looked exhausted, he's been on the air when the call came in and on transports for 20 hours since then. Tom's eyes slipped closed as he waited for Pete to say something. Pete collapsed to his knees, tears streaming down his face. The surgery must have gone wrong, Tom wasn't awake. Pete wasn't ready to talk to the doctors yet and face the future, right now he needed to lament what was lost.
Wood and Wolf stood outside the door, neither wanting to be far from their family nor wanting to interrupt. From his spot on the floor, Pete heard a soft tapping, his name in Morse code. He looked up to see Tom's green eyes looking at him in confusion. On the whiteboard, "Pete, are you hurt?"
Pete took a deep breath, exhaling on a soft chuckle. "Only my heart, dear. You scared the hell out of me." Ron and Sarah waited, glancing out the door at Wood and Wolf nodding for them to come in.
In the bed, Tom scribbled on the whiteboard and wiggled slightly closer to the side with the monitors and opened his arms wide, whiteboard out, "C'mere"
Pete sat frozen, afraid to get to close, to hurt Tom. Tom pointed at the whiteboard with his head and shook it slightly for emphasis. Pete looked over at Ron and Sarah, earning an eye roll from Tom. Ron nodded and Pete launched himself off his knees and rushed to the bed. He stopped, trying unsuccessfully to remove his boots.
Ron huffed, "Just get in the damn bed, Pete. I'll get them." Pete crawled into Tom's open arms and the two sighed in unison. Everyone else in the room shook their heads, never have any two people been more in love, they were sure of it.
Ron untied Pete's boots, struggling to get them off. Pete's feet and ankles were swollen, a sure sign of the long hours of travel. Ron leaned over the pair, "You get two hours and then I'm taking Pete to shower and eat. I'm guessing he hasn't done either of those since yesterday." Pete ignored Ron, even as Tom nodded in agreement.
Tom held Pete tightly, taking the comfort he needed from his husband. Tom wrote on the board again, "How long do I have you?"
Pete grinned, "Forever and a day." Tom smiled as he fixed the question. "How long are you in for?"
Pete shrugged, "I'm done." Murmurs of confusion on the room were interrupted by Wolf, "I thought you had a month left."
Pete shook his head, "I'm quitting." Ron's eyebrows shot up, as did Tom's, "Quitting what?"
Pete snuggled into Tom's shoulder as he casually replied, "The Navy." The room stilled, nobody moved a muscle. The only sound was Tom's monitor, the rhythm faster now. Tom kept his left arm around Pete as he wrote on the whiteboard with his right. "NO!"
Pete didn't look at the board, he knew what it said. "I'm not asking, Tom. I was halfway across the world, it took me more than a damn day to get here. What if I had been too late?"
"NO!" Pete furrowed his brow, that was a commanding voice. He lifted an eyebrow at Hollywood, standing at the foot of the bed. "I don't remember asking permission, Rick."
"Technically, Mav," he trailed off, but Pete knew where he was going. "Fuck," he muttered. Wood was up the chain of command for Mav and would have to sign off on discharge papers. Mav's contract wasn't up yet so it wasn't as straightforward as not renewing. Tom's silent laugh shook in his chest.
Wolf jumped in, "You can't quit, Mav. We will sort this all out, but you can't quit. You COULD stop pissing off admirals though."
In the corner, Sarah spit coffee at those words. She dabbed at her mouth and nose, "Sorry, but that's like telling Tom to stop being an admiral. File it under things that will never happen."
The group nodded and Pete looked over his shoulder at his sister-in-law. She was as steadfast a person as any in his life. She knew the pair of them too well. He jutted her chin at her, "I promise I'll do my part if Tom will take extended leave."
Nobody looked over, they heard the tapping of the whiteboard and knew the answer. Pete shrugged. He looked at Wood, "Do they still have an opening for a test pilot out in the desert?"
Ron huffed, "No work talk today. Today is a family day!" Just as he finished his declaration his phone rang. He screwed up his face as he looked at the number and answered, "Admiral Kerner."
The group laughed as Ron stepped out of the room. "Isn't it ironic," Wolf sang as the chuckles continued. Tom's eyelids drooped and Pete's eyes slid closed. Sarah turned and shooed the two admirals out of the room, closing the door softly behind them. She walked over to the bed, turning the lights in the room out. She fluffed Tom's pillow as Ron reentered the room.
"Help me get Mav's flight suit off his arms. If he has a nightmare, I'm afraid he'll hit Tom as he flails." Sarah knew she couldn't talk Pete into leaving yet, but he hated sleeping in long sleeves and they sometimes they triggered his nightmares. Ron and Sarah worked gently to pull Pete's arms from the flight suit without disturbing the pair.
Tom's eyes fluttered open and he locked eyes with Sarah. "Thank you," he mouthed to her. She nodded as she slipped a pillow under Pete's head and pulled a blanket up over them.
She closed the blinds sat on the couch making space for Ron. "You too, Ron. I'll take the watch." Ron snuggled into his wife, head on her lap as she pulled a blanket around his shoulders. She sipped on her coffee as Ron slept, watching over the most important men in her life. She would make sure they all got through this.
creds to @epiimetheux !!!
i kept coming back to this beautiful artwork and i got inspired by it so here you go...
(disclaimer: i haven't completed a fic in forever, let alone published one, so i'm very anxious about this, i apologise if it's a mess •~•♡ love you guys)
----------
tom watches from the side as his husband steps forward to his coffin. pete's head is bowed, but he can see the trembling of his lips and the coiled muscles in his jaw.
oh my love.
what i'd give to embrace you one more time.
he knew he couldn't reach his husband anymore. his time had passed.
that didn't keep tom from standing next to pete's side. keeping watch. protecting his wingman, as they'd promised to each other years ago on that fateful day.
when repressed feelings and pretentious rivalry finally made way for the unconditional love thay had never wavered once.
partnership that had lasted 33 years.
tom watched as pete took the wings off his uniform, laying them onto the smooth oak.
the gun salutes were no more than background noise, tom's sole focus lying on the man in front of him.
the moment he saw pete punching the wings into the coffin he felt an incredible warmth spread through his chest.
such a feeling had been limited to very few moments in his life.
in the cockpit of his plane, soaring above the clouds with ron at his back and pete right by his side.
the return from the layton mission.
aching and sweaty and all kinds of shaken up but alive, thriving on adrenaline and pent up energy.
they had only seen each other then.
not iceman and maverick, but tom and pete, right there on the deck, what ron had later jokingly called their "confession".
their wedding. finally being allowed to slip a ring onto pete's finger while surrounded by all their loved ones. to call him his husband for everyone to see and hear without having to fear anymore. forever and always - the ending of both of their vows.
when their son had come back to them.
pete, bradley and himself crying with relief in their kitchen as they embraced for the first time in years. pete almost losing it as bradley started called him 'dad' again, and tom almost following suit when 'pops' returned back to daily use.
in that hospital bed, when he'd kissed his husband for the last time. he had wiped the tears on pete's cheeks with trembling hands, mapping that gorgeous face he knew better than the back of his own hand.
hushed i love you's in the quiet of the room, both signed and said out loud as they held each other.
the last words he felt pressed against his forehead being 'forever and always', before he slipped away into neverland.
tom looked over his shoulder just as pete stepped back from the coffin.
the wings on his back were strikingly white. glossy and strong feathers fluttered softly in the wind, and tom couldn't help the smile that spread on his face.
i will protect you, my heart.
my wingman.
my everything.
carefully he guided his wings around pete's sides. shielding him for just a moment. providing the endless support he couldn't give in person anymore.
pete looked up towards the sky, just like the rest of the crowd, watching as the missing man formation flew by.
everyone watched the sky, but tom couldn't tear his eyes away from his husband. how the dusking sun reflected in those tender green eyes. the curve of his nose, and the sweet lips he'd kissed so very often, now being worried at between pearly teeth.
i love you, forever and always.
as if he heard him, pete echoed his words.
"forever and always, sweetheart."
i wholeheartedly love how slider just *squishes*
no seriously pilot go SQUISH
This moment makes me extremely happy 😍
@thethistlegirl @malewifebillcage
[slider is filming]
*to the camera*
iceman: okay, ready? today i'll show you how to care of a sad person
*he walks over to the couch where mav is curled up, & begins laying out a blanket*
iceman: you get your blanket, and pick up your ball of depression...
*picks up mav*
iceman: lay them on the blanket and...
*mav yelps when ice starts to roll him up*
iceman: you get your own sushi roll!
iceman: now you place them somewhere comfortable and get your supplies...
*dumps mav back onto the couch & returns with snacks and drinks*
iceman: you hug your roll close and watch a movie that the roll enjoys
*starts mean girls, meanwhile slider is one laugh away from passing out*
iceman: now this part is important! you feed and hydrate the roll, because tears leave the roll dehydrated.
*mav blushing heavily, hiding in ice's side while he gets his share of chips*
iceman, smiling at the camera: there we go, a happy roll!
[ slider can't help the sappy grin on his face, their little pilot buddy all tiny & wide eyes peeking over the blanket is just adorable ]
---------------------------------------------------
inspired by the happy sushi roll meme i just found again:-D
~ '86 class at slider's house🥰
maverick: *sighs* this couch is so hard... -wolf, you shut your goddamn mouth- sli, buddy, got any pillows?
slider: just a second
*picks iceman up by the waist, relishing in the high-pitched yelp his best friend won't ever admit to*
slider: here you go!
*chucks ice on top of mav*
-
maverick: babe i love you but you're really heavy
iceman: did you just call me fat?
maverick: nO-
*hollywood and wolfman cackling in the corner, mother goose has his face in his hands, sundown couldn't take it anymore & left half an hour ago*
might i add:
✨icemav but with slider✨
Iceman: Sli, I've lost him again.
Slider: One moment. Ahem. WOOOW, ICE, WHERE DID YOUR SHIRT GO?
Iceman: Wha-...
Maverick: -speedwalking into the room- Huh?
Slider: There we are.
Hangman: Shit. I lost him. Again. Can you help me find him?
Phoenix: Give me a second. MUSTACHES LOOK STUPID!
Rooster: What did you say?!
Hangman: There he is
_______
Bonus: IceMav Version
Iceman: Shit, I lost Maverick again.
Goose: Give me a second.PETE MITCHELL IS SHORT!
Maverick: I'm not!
Iceman: there he is and you are
okay top gun but it's halloween party time🎃
'86 group!
the costumes:
mav : vampire (i am fully going with "interview with the vampire" on this one) the fangs stay on the WHOLE party even though he is struggling with the snacks
ice : a very disgruntled frankenstein (but he slays it 100%). the mood gets slightly better as he watches mav curse over the green face paint aaaaall over his hands after having painted him. a smol vampire stumbling around their living room while simultaneously having a slight lisp because of the fake fangs is a funny sight indeed.
goose + carole : all the couple costumes, oh my god. carole has doooozens of spares.
princess peach & mario? check, definitely goose's favorite. baby brad tumbling about as yoshi♡_♡
johnny & baby? goose absolutely practices the lift with mav, who ends up with quite a few bruises. he gets a lot of beers & a drive home, but, if he's honest, he'll do anything for his best friends anyway.
that halloween ends with a very happy carole. ideas for bradley?
gomez and morticia addams? double check. the white face paint required a triple wash but they SLAYED that. bradley as pugsley is the vibe<<3 carole has a secret dealer for the best halloween wigs.
slider : this man is not at ALL for halloween. nope. not happening. ice manages to convince him with the promise of good food and a lotta booze. surprisingly, he even comes in costume! as a secret nerd (which i see him as) we are gonna get batman.
...
or he-man?
that would be for the kids-free party°○°
mav almost faints when he walks in with that and ice laughs so hard he has tears streaming down his face. the rest of the class is just impressed honestly, it's not bad! not to mention that he doesn't need the muscle suit...
wolfman & hollywood: PARTNER OUTFITS!
mean girls? that was a bet they lost to slider... them legs were fiiiine in those skirts.
buzz and woody!<3 they argue for hours on who's who & end up with wolf as buzz and hollywood as woody👀
the twins from the shining, they chose that themselves and NO ONE knows why.
ghostbusters! best partner outfit of that year, they all had to admit it.
listen i did not think about the timelines when which movie came out😆 this is chaos.
enjoy<3
part 2?
gif found at @ne0n-grav3stones 's post, i hope you don't mind me posting this!♡
ice looks 100% done with EVERYTHING. love him♡