Social Issues - Blog Posts

I am scared .

I am a young queer girl.

I don’t have much of a community, only two people who are also LGBT+ and three or four more who are even slightly liberal. Only the former know I actually am panromantic.

I long to be in the sun, to know in the future I could have a girlfriend, or even just be open, but that longing makes me cautious.

I feel I must temper my argumentative side, make myself likable, and yet still try to hold all those around me accountable and challenge their preconceived notions. I want, when they think back on me, them not to feel revilement or fear I may have been deceiving them. I try to compliment all the other girls in my grade but I fear if I truly say how aesthetically beautiful I feel they all are, they will look back and see me as perverse or fear I had a crush on them and not understand I see them as beautiful in the same way I see the mountains and the trees. Rather than understanding I had hoped for them to see themselves as an innately beautiful part of the beautiful universe or even just to slightly improve their abysmal self esteem, they might look back and see “corruption” in my words.

I don’t know why I even fear it.

I fear how I see those around me not understand the necessity of queer rights and one of my own best friends wrinkling her nose in disgust every time a queer character even appears.

I feel helpless to explain how the eradication of trans rights in not only a sign of the tragic repeating of history to come but isolated from that simply a slap in the face, more harmful to my community and to feminism than I can properly articulate.

I feel like I’m drowning when I check the comments on a video of an explaination of the difference between WGM and GM in chess. Dread haunts like the reaper as I see the large number of replies, each with people claiming the very existence of the WGM title is either unnecessary or proves how women are inherently inferior at chess, lacking any nuance on history.

I dispare as the community online I am forced to view from afar, sipping and skimming, attempts to repeat the same patterns that threaten to or try to rip our spaces in half.

I am wrecked with terror at the prospect of not being able to escape for college to another country. Gnashing at my heels as I run from the disintegration of my country is the fear that every place I look to is headed in the same direction, that no progress will ever truly be made as some proudly stuff cotton into their ears and put megaphones to their uninformed words.

I am young but I do not feel young. I fear I will never feel old and I fear what will become of me and my friends if I do reach past 55.

I am afraid

But even as the storms now wash away the footprints I follow, laborious, repeated efforts will carve a path into the dirt.

Eat the rich. 💫💫💫

Why did someone send me this and claim it was proof women’s rights were under attack?

Yeah women aren’t the only caregiver and often due to socialization they push males out of parenting roles and often undermine males in these situations.

It’s actually part of the whole “women have historically been the child raisers” narrative. As a society women see themselves as the only ones who know how to raise kids and we even specifically use women as symbols of good parents despite men being statistically just as good at parenting.

You aren’t being attacked by this and if you see this as an attack you are a brainwashed idiot who thinks women’s only role is a walking womb who is meant to push out spawn and then raise them while the rock person you are married too go and dies in a war or something.

Toxic moms vs Good Fathers

The Crucial Role of Fathers in Child Development and Overcoming Maternal Gatekeeping

As a psychotherapist, I've observed firsthand how deeply impactful a father's role is in a child's emotional, psychological, and behavioral development. Current research underscores the importance of paternal involvement, highlighting the structured, authoritative approach fathers commonly adopt, characterized by clear expectations, discipline, and consistent guidance. These aspects of fatherhood foster independence, emotional resilience, and social competence in children (Frontiers in Psychology, 2022).

Why Fathers are Essential

Fathers uniquely contribute to children's growth through structured play and consistent discipline, significantly influencing children's emotional regulation, academic performance, and social interactions. Research shows that children with engaged fathers exhibit improved cognitive development, better behavioral outcomes, and enhanced emotional stability. Conversely, the absence of a father correlates strongly with increased risks for mood disorders, behavioral problems, and difficulties with emotional regulation (PMC, 2023).

Understanding Toxic Maternal Gatekeeping

While mothers often excel at nurturing, some behaviors, especially maternal gatekeeping, can inadvertently hinder a father's involvement. Maternal gatekeeping refers to behaviors where a mother may limit or restrict the father's access to the child, often through criticism, control, or undermining his parenting efforts. This behavior frequently stems from unresolved attachment issues, emotional insecurity, or distrust, particularly among mothers who themselves lacked a father figure in their upbringing (PMC, 2016).

Maternal gatekeeping not only undermines paternal engagement but can perpetuate generational cycles of absenteeism. Women raised without fathers are more likely to experience similar patterns in their own families, leading to ongoing familial dysfunction and emotional instability (Fatherhood.org, 2023).

Economic and Emotional Challenges in Father-Absent Households

Families without an actively involved father, particularly single-mother households, commonly experience economic hardships, increased stress, and limited social support. These stressors can negatively impact children's psychological and emotional well-being, highlighting the need for paternal presence to provide stability and structure. In contrast, single-father households typically report higher incomes and better resource accessibility, underscoring the socio-economic advantages of paternal involvement (Pew Research Center, 2013).

Strategies for Overcoming Maternal Gatekeeping

Fathers facing toxic maternal gatekeeping can employ several effective strategies:

Open Communication: Initiate respectful, non-confrontational discussions focused on the child's best interests.

Clearly Defined Roles: Establish written agreements outlining parental responsibilities and visitation.

Legal Support: Consult legal professionals early and document interactions meticulously.

Mediation and Therapy: Engage in mediation or family counseling to facilitate healthy co-parenting communication.

Parenting Education: Participate in parenting workshops to strengthen parenting skills and demonstrate commitment.

Child-Centric Approach: Prioritize the child's emotional health and consistently avoid negative speech about the other parent.

Strong Emotional Connections: Maximize quality time to build trust and strengthen bonds with the child.

Professional Support: Utilize individual and child-focused counseling to navigate emotional challenges and familial tensions.

Conclusion

As a psychotherapist, I've witnessed the transformative impact that involved fathers can have on their children's lives. Addressing and overcoming maternal gatekeeping behaviors is critical for fostering healthier family environments. By advocating for structured paternal involvement, supporting co-parenting strategies, and understanding the root causes of gatekeeping, we can significantly improve children's developmental outcomes, ensuring emotional, social, and psychological health for generations to come.

References

Frontiers in Psychology (2022). "The Role of Fathers in Child Development." https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.772023/full

PMC (2023). "Psychological Effects of Father Absence." https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5648344

PMC (2016). "Maternal Gatekeeping and Father Involvement." https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4922533

Fatherhood.org (2023). "Father Absence and Intergenerational Patterns." https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic

Pew Research Center (2013). "The Rise of Single Fathers." https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers

Source: Toxic moms vs Good Fathers

Sorry FEMALES but wanting to look good and use makeup is bad and you are bad for wanting to use it. No don’t argue about this you are actively raping women with your use of makeup as it’s patriarchy now. Cause using make up is bad and patriarchy and all that. Btw the people saying this shit are bio essentialists who believe a woman is only a woman if she has a fertile womb and produces kids but YOU are bad if you use makeup for whatever reason.

The true feminist take of course is that everyone should use makeup. Men, women, enbys and all genders should embrace using makeup when they wish. It’s not shameful or wrong to want to look a little special if you want to go out or just want to play about with it to make your features pop a bit more for whatever reasons as long as you want to do it and it’s not due to force or coercion.

context: she is triggered by a woman pointing out she was never taught how to use makeup and lamenting she was pushed into “inner beauty” stuff but never taught personal hygiene.

Earlier today I stumbled upon a website called Rapey.co. This website is one of (many) forum websites which focuses on REAL people normalizing pedophilia, rape, incest and even murder. They share VERY disturbing stories about children (sometimes even their own) and the fantasies or plans they wish to carry out which involve the rape and murder of women and children. Some of these are accounts asking for advice as to how to rape, how to murder, how to seduce children. If you take a look at my friends Facebook post ( https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1471682506554480&id=100011382334335 ) or at the horrific website itself (trigger warning) there are many disturbing screenshots and posts to read from. You can see it is not hidden, it is in plain sight. This is not found on the dark or deep web.. it is accessible through ANY BROWSER. Imagine being so confident and comfortable with such evil and horrific crimes that you are able to open up an entire website about it? This is because even THEY know nothing is going to be done about it, so there is no need to hide it.

I am ashamed to live in a society where things like this can so easily be posted and encouraged on the internet and the amount of people who witness it and do nothing about it. We live in a society that is trying to justify and normalize rape and pedophilia, and this is UNACCEPTABLE.

The children talked about by adults in these forums are at great danger. One man said he is trying to seduce his own daughter, and if that doesn't work he'd force himself on to her. Although it's extremely disturbing and triggering to read, IT NEEDS TO COME TO LIGHT, SO IT CAN COME TO AN END. (This was copy and pasted from a friends server, next announcement I'm linking the petition to get rid of it)

http://chng.it/NyNDdBQsjV please sign. This website is literally fucking disgusting

You all better fucking reblog this shit, my inbox should be full of reblogs

@nac-nic @comic-nerd-dc @baeilish @batsydweeb @incorrectbatfam @odd-blue @psychovigilantewrites

Hello! I’m Abby! I’m known by Artsy Abby and I’m a mental health advocate as well as social justice fighter. I raise awareness for world issues and a provide links to articles so people can educate themselves on the subject as well as petitions and relief funds for people in need. I have a lot of links in groups based on events and times. For example, as a member of both the LGBTQ+ and POC communities, I’ve got a lot of links that are relevant right now I’ve added to those specific sections. I also have spreadsheets for peaceful protests depending on event (BLM, Roe v Wade, so on and so forth), state/country and affordable therapy (both singular and group). Those can all be found in my linktree attached below.

On top of all that, I’m an influencer and rising musician! I wanted to use my platform for good, and my lyrics always touch on something that people can relate to. Wether it’s mental health struggles, love, feeling alone, you name it, I’ve got a song for that. I want people to know that they’re not alone.

I am currently looking for a studio to record in and a management team or maybe find some sort of agency to work with! I think I have a lot of potential and would love for others to see that.

I just released my third album, Mixed Signals, it’s currently being put on all platforms and I would love to know what y’all think! Here is the link for Apple Music https://music.apple.com/us/album/mixed-signals/1631347119

Apple Music

Mixed Signals by Artsy Abby

Album · 2022 · 9 Songs

Here is where you’ll find all my socials, petitions, articles, and so much more. I’ve got it nice and organized: https://linktr.ee/ArtsyAbby

Here is my YouTube, where I post my music and my gaming: https://youtube.com/channel/UCG4RdjmhnqA-fp88EhuesHg

My YouTube music (which is NOT the same as regular YouTube): https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCgtClBsNdPFpVH2pw4R3TRQ

Here’s where you can buy my merch! https://streamlabs.com/artsyabbyplays/merch

My LGBTQ Line merch! https://store.streamelements.com/artsyabbyplays

My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/artsyxabbyx

My Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4v2v1GQWuknZTPYNqVWq0H?si=KO6Wh2zCTSGX912fNKSaLQ

My apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/artsy-abby/1618955058

My tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdPLUgja/

My insta: https://www.instagram.com/its.artsy.abby/?r=nametag

Here's Another Poem I wrote

This is one of the two poems that I wrote this year for a black history assembly at my school.

Blind

Can’t see it.

Can’t feel it.

Can’t recognize it.

You’re blind.

You turn away from the struggle of others.

You won’t hear about the injustice.

You pretend it’s all in the past.

You’re blind.

Don’t act like isn’t here.

Don’t act like it isn’t there.

Don’t make-believe it's all gone away.

Don’t look away from all the pain.

Your guilt is telling you to turn away.

Your fear is making you hateful.

Your hate is turning you violent.

Your ignorance has made you blind.

reminder that the "taiwanese independence movement" (with 🇳🇫 emoji) is a nazist group that invent the myth of a "singular taiwanese ethnicity" much like hitler's idea of aryan people and advocate for an ethnostate

there's no "taiwanese ethnicity", even if you take only indigenous populations, they are not one and the same thing (theyre classified into various tribes for a reason) -- and the autonomy of indigenous people of taiwan is very solvable without the nazi mvmt

the KMT atrocities are very solvable without the nazi mvmt

pretty much all social issues the cult is "aiming to solve" by estabilishing a nazi ethnostate are solvable without it.

and let's not forget they are more xenophobic/racist and homophobic on average than like many other political groups in taiwan while also claiming to be progressive.

repeat after me: taiwan independence advocates are nazis (much like their red neighbors in beijing)

I think the number one worst piece of traditional advice people give about being bullied is to "stand up to the bully."

This only works if you can make a convincing show of force to the bully, if you can convince them that there will be consequences to further attacks.

If you try to bluff a bully and fail (as is very likely, bullies generally have enough social awareness to pick their targets and to get away with bullying), the bully will punish you. Severely. Standing up to a bully with no credible defense or threat gets you pounded.

Instead, gather allies and confront the bully together. Cultivate authorities and destroy the bully's ability to get away with crimes or prohibited actions. Devise asymmetrical ways of retaliating, using any advantages you might possess. If possible, find ways to make your show of force without making an actual counterattack on the bully. That way you can maintain the moral advantage.

Don't escalate. Keep your responses proportional, even restrained, and your mind focused and calm. If you're more aggressive or harmful than the bully, you've either opened yourself up to being seen as the problem, or given the bully a justification to take even more harmful actions against you. Bullies often try to provoke this exact mistake, by getting their targets angry.

If the bully is a powerful group, which can't safely be confronted or resisted, it may be necessary to suffer some retribution, some punishment, and continue to confront or resist anyway, to send the message that no amount of retribution, however violent, will stop your resistance, or change your behavior.