Survive - Blog Posts

Hard to consider a certain level of personal growth and improvement when you can't get over something simple as an affair. We do everything so fast, we get to know each other, we send everyday text messages, we fall in love, kiss, have fights, get apart, get back together, get apart again and one day end up not talking to each other ever again. However we miss each other, whisper a name, a word, a feeling, but we are too proud to send a message, to proud to say how much we miss each other and then we let it die but it is never actually dead, somewhere inside you can still feel it and some times you wonder about how could it be if it ever worked out.

You will never know because you don't want to try to go after the person, you don't want to risk yourself, to hear a 'no', to get a cold message, you don't want to hurt yourself and your memories, you rather let it be the way it is.

"It is better this way."

But it is not. It is just safer. You don't want to be rejected by that person you care so much about. That person you have so many warm dreams about and get lost on thoughts imagining a perfect life together. You don't wanna risk all of that.

You just let it die.

YOU HAVE TO WALK THROUGH THE DOORS YOU BEG TO HAVE OPEN!!!!! THE CHANGE CANNOT HAPPEN SIMPLY BY THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTING ITSELF!!!! YOU NEED TO BE OPEN TO SEE IT, CHOOSE IT, AND ACTUALLY MOVE!!!!!

Listening to literally any EPIC song is a completely different experience now that Thunder Bringer is out

I am in a state of lots of disassociate but also better on my mental health in other ways i haven't been for years? So its odd, I am allowing myself the concept of being content with enjoying the work & art that is just in front of me? Anyways eat more kimchi buns and survive friends

Fariha Róisín, How to Cure a Ghost

numbness became a second skin my brain seems quiet yet too loud in its silence and wherever I am there is nowhere to be my heart is trapped inside of my mind thoughts float  heavy through my veins exchange my blood with what is left to survive the night the day the losing in between

this guy... still hilarious and still helps a lot when it comes down to survival

I wanna thrive, not just survive

"Feels like I travel but I never arrive" - sings Jon Foreman. I suppose it gets us all every now and then. We feel like we're doing so much, when at the same time our lives seem to be stuck at an unreasonable point.

Currently I've had the impression, that I'm working very hard, building a great relationship, doing everything possible. I sent out numerous query letters, to literary agents, in hopes of living one of my dreams: becoming a writer. Not neccesarily a full-time one, just any writer, who can change college and go from mechanical engineer to anything-else-with-which-I-can-be-a-writer-and/or-director... But it just doesn't happen! I'm not getting any response.

Do I suck, is that why they ignore me? This is what I've asked myself a thousand times. Insecurity and doubt, however, are just terrible lies. I say lies because they are totally unreasonable and useless. Oh and most of all pointless. This no-reply has nothing to do with my writing or with my letters, it's just the process, you dumbass, and when I say you dumbass I mean ME DUMBASS...

I've heard it so many times, that it's way too much, that: It isn't the finish line, which matters, but the road, that leads there. And: Enjoy life's wonderful journey, cos' that's what matters. But these are nonsense common-places. If I were given a dollar for every time I thought to myself: Oh, could you be any more wrong? - then  I wouldn't have to study at all after all...

I know this has been nothing but confusing so far but believe me, my conclusion is at the corner now :)

We (and personally I, but let's stay with we) do struggle a lot and we make serious efforts. Most likely day by day. And it seems, like our lives are going nowhere. Because we're not getting anywhere... But is this true? We all are full of potential and we all are called for so much more. The big, romantic turn waits after this moment. Whenever we're ready. If we want to thrive, and not just survive, there is a chance. We can always trust our lives into the hands of the Heavenly Father, who is already taking us there. And it's THAT there. The next moment may just be a moment for a miracle. Let's thrive :)

The beauty behind loneliness is that you find out that to survive  you don't need anyone but ALLAH.

Anonymous.

I was too stressed and mindlessly scribbled "I can't do this anymore!" in the back of my notebook.

And look, what my little 9 year old sister wrote back!!!

I'm not joking when I say she's one of the reasons why I still keep going on...😭🩷

At this point of my life, I wonder:

Are we born to live or are we born to survive?