The Hobbit Headcanons - Blog Posts

I have an awesome not disgusting head canon for you:

Dwarrow have very sweaty hands to protect them from getting burnt as easily.

Every three weeks, On the dot Nori holds Ori down while Dori cuts his little hair do. That’s why it always looks so rough. Baby boy is THRASHING around trying to escape.

Bad light.

More gold sick Thorin and his treasure

Self-reblog coz I think this one pretty drawing of Thorin deserves more attention I’m sorry

Reupload if coz one of his eyes was very wonky

But yeah, I think I’ve improved. This is post battle Thorin with all the scars

He’s such a handsome boy *said in the tone someone uses when talking to a cat*

Wow I’m literally so sorry

Scary queen 😭

Dis you are the queen of my heart🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

She’s just such a perfect woman

How I think the different races of middle earth deal with mental health:

Tw: mental health, brief mention of suicide, brief mention of alcohol misuse

Please don’t read this if it will negatively effect you in any way.

It’s not that important, nothing i post is ever as important as ur mental health, I’ll see you in the next post :)

Hobbits:

Wouldn’t dare to talk about it for fear of scandal, when someone yeets themselves from the mortal coil everyone else says they drowned fishing or ate a bad mushroom. Really really bad vibes.

Humans and numenoreans:

Trying trying okay? ‘Talk to a friend or family member’, ‘have you tried going for a walk’ ‘make sure you eat lots of healthy colorful vegetables to keep the good humors up’

They don’t know what they’re doing but they definitely know that drinking about it is an answer, perhaps not the correct one, but definitely one of the answers of all time.

Elves:

They love being depressed. Everything is so god damn depressing about elves and they love it.

Seriously, if they could by melancholy flavored ice cream they would *

Dwarves:

(Note: please exclude a Mister Thorin Oakenshield from this description)

Actually generally pretty good about it, they live in the dark a lot of the time and as such don’t get enough sun and know that that is a very real cause of a bad head space, they have a lot of access to minerals and cold weather plants that work well to treat depression and a large enough work force that if you need a few days off to right yourself no one bats an eye.

Ents:

So bad at communicating that they scared the hoes.*

Goblins:

Couldn’t articulate their emotions if they were offered a gold coin the size of a shire door. *

Orcs/Orks:

Will complain to each other openly but lack any empathy to retain what others say to them so it’s just a sea of whinging and whining.

**I will also put a red asterisk next to everything that applies to Thorin because it’s funny and I’m mean **

So if yall didn’t know, in The Hobbit book, Thranduil had the Dwarves locked up for approximately weeks, and Bilbo was just invisible and wandering in the palace the entire time, vibing miserably.

My headcanon, therefore, is that the Mirkwood Elves now have a local legend about a ghost haunting Thranduil’s palace, never seen but generally thought to be harmless. Thranduil scoffs at the idea, but has been seen glancing around at the dark corners of rooms. Legolas fully believes in it and is known to say hello out loud when he enters an empty room, in case the ghost is nearby.

It’s not until Legolas joins the Fellowship that he figures out that the supposed ghost was actually an invisible Bilbo the whole time. He never tells Thranduil, because he thinks it’s funny to see his regal father unnerved by the idea of a ghost.