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Any advice on how to approach tough conversations with my parents without getting overwhelmed and crying?
-Keep in mind that not every discussion is a fight. It doesn’t have to turn into a fight.
-Think about what you want to say on beforehand. You can write your ideas if possible so you don’t miss any point or get lost within the conversation.
-Tell your parents that you want to talk about something important. Schedule a brief time with them in which they can give you their attention.
-Let them know why talking about that subject is important for you.
-Your emotional well being goes first. If the thing is getting ugly you can ask to pause the conversation and re take it when everybody is more calm (this particular tip has made wonders in the relationship with my mom).
-Keep your voicetone calm but steady. Don’t shout, and try to not get heated. Remember that it’s a conversation. Don’t get defensive even if they do. The outcome might not be what you wanted and that might be frustrating but try to stay calm.
-Some phrases that might help are:
“I would like to know what you think of (the subject)”
“Why do you think that way? What are your concerns?”
“I understand why you say it but I do not agree”
“From my point of view…”
“I would appreciate if you could give thought to (subject)” and negotiate a partial agreement
“I don’t agree with that but I respect your decision/ will support you”
-If things don’t go your way you can always try again when armed with resources.
And even if the outcome isn’t what you wanted I am already proud of you for speaking out. I believe you and support you.