This Isnt A Theory This Is An Interpretation I Just Wanted To Make That Joke - Blog Posts

how about a spritz of queer religious trauma induced lyrical analysis for your day ?!?!??!

you down? GREAT read on 🌼

*NOTE - this is not the interpretation anybody probably intended from this song, this is just my own personal joy found in it*

here are some lyrics from the song hallelujah, specifically the jeff buckley cover (not that it matters but.. it does):

I am a queer woman who was raised in the church and now has an ambiguous relationship with religion as a whole. And man, these LYRICS!! They fill my soul.

"Baby, I've been here before / I've seen this room and I've walked this floor"

I see this partially as a call to younger queer people, as an "it gets better, ive been there". But I also see this as a message towards those who are currently religious. I was deeply pious at one point in my life (before a lot of thinking and feeling went down). I know how.. everything works. I was you. I understand your church more than you know. Don't exclude me or cast my feelings to the side because I am not involved in it anymore.

"You know, I used to live alone before I knew you"

My journey through religion (and out of it) was a very, very introspective and intense one. Walking out on that felt like living alone. Learning independence and identity was a grueling, but beautiful thing (and heck, I still am).

"And I've seen your flag on the marble arch, and love is not a victory march.

I've been to a few pride parades and love them- this is not a dig at pride for me. It's a recognition that everything is... so much deeper than pride. Pride is what happens when you are alone at night and telling yourself that you are, truly, okay for being queer. Pride is what happens when you hold your partners hand in public despite being scared. Pride is wearing what you want because it makes you feel good. It's little. Not explosive. (Most of the time).

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

Pride is to be found in exhales of air, sweat, blood, and tears. It is filled with hardship- with the screams of protests that have gone on longer than we've been alive. The most human hallelujah is not a sweet one. It's the sigh of relief when you come out to somebody and they dont.. leave your life forever. It's the trauma that comes from years, and years, and years of hiding and fear and hatred. And the realization that you have survived and you stand here still today to continue fighting. THAT is hallelujah. And some may never understand. But you do.