Curate, connect, and discover
Truthful - Blog Posts
Always looking to make new friends.....
Back home, Connell’s shyness never seemed like much of an obstacle to his social life, because everyone knew who he was already, and there was never any need to introduce himself or create impressions about his personality. If anything, his personality seemed like something external to himself, managed by the opinions of others, rather than anything he individually did or produced. Now he has a sense of invisibility, nothingness, with no reputation to recommend him to anyone.
- Normal people by Sally Rooney
Honoring yourself...
and being truthful to yourself. I haven't really delved into this whole mindset that you can forgive yourself when everybody else has or hasn't. I have so much pent up guilt within myself that it's sometimes suffocating, that sometimes on those rare moments that I have time to think, it makes me dizzy when I think about that one event in my life, or that one memory of a memory that isn't really complete, but you know it's there, but forever fragmented every time you try to recall.
I'm 32 now, and I'm allowing myself, little by little to let things go that happened to me in that past, so that I can gain new experiences, and not let the past weigh me down. But like they say, it's easier said than done. I want to heal, I want to not have guilt and pain so easily manifest itself if I'm alone.
Also, people get this mixed up sometimes. Being alone doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely. People say that so freely, that I sometimes wonder if the lonely they're talking about is them just being bored.
I was asked, "If I don't have this (insert emotion), then what am I?" I asked myself this the other day. If I didn't have that abortion, and the pain, depression, and guilt that came with it, then what am I? It's been 5 years, and I hardly know myself before all that happened, that I have to ask myself, could I ever go back to the girl I was? Probably not. I've built walls, and I've found comfort in things that brings me joy, that probably wouldn't even cross my mind 5-6 years ago.
I was also told once that you change every 5 years or so, and I didn't used to believe that, but now I do. I definitely am not who I was 5 years ago, nor do I want to be. I'm honoring myself by being truthful to this decision. I'm happy, and that's all that I can ask for. It's more than anyone can ask for.
Be well, my friends.
Pensando em como é difícil não nos cobrarmos tanto. É até engraçado pensar que sabemos que essa é a nossa única vida e mesmo assim, a desperdiçamos sempre. Eu sinto a minha vida passar a cada momento e eu a perder pouco a pouco. Me perdendo de mim, do que eu sonhei, deixando de viver por medo. A cada dia que passa eu continuo só tendo o hoje e mesmo assim eu ainda o desperdiço. A verdade é que eu queria tanto, mas o que eu faço pra ter? Quero me sentir viva.
Time is hard for dreamers.
BRUTAL HONESTY HOUR.
A - If I'm in love.
B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.
C - How long it's been since I've kissed.
D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.
E - How many piercings I have.
F - Give me any options, like 'hot or cold?'
G - The last person I said 'I love you' to.
H - The last person I hugged.
I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.
J - Are you insecure. What about?
K - What my full name is.
L - If I have siblings.
M - If I forgive betrayal.
N - Favourite animal?
O - Where would I like to travel
P - What kind of music I like.
Q - Favourite flower?
R - Is cheating ever okay?
S - 2 habits.
T - 3 things I love unconditionally.
U - Favourite time of year, and why
V - Big dreams?
W - If I've done something I regret very much.
X - 3 turn ons
Y - 3 turns offs
Z - Ask any question you want.
Analytical philosophy, or some recognizable descendant of it, should be able to make a richer contribution to ethics than has often been the case up to now. If it is to do so, it will need to hold on to two truths which it tends to forget (not only in ethics, but most damagingly there): that philosophy cannot be too pure, and must merge with other kinds of understanding; and that being soberly truthful does not exclude, but may actually demand, the imagination.
Bernard Williams “Contemporary Philosophy: A Second Look”