Vibevibe - Blog Posts

Scene

Hagen and I are lying in bed. He's turned his head to sleep while I change the thunderstorm video from one to another. The sound quality wasn't great. He's dosing off, an ad plays, and the screen turns white, lighting the room. Hagen wakes up slightly from the brightness. I squint my eyes and nuzzle my head into my neck, turning away slightly.

I close them, "MY EYES." The scream was silent.

Hagen wheezed through his lips. Laughs slowly filled the room.

My bf and I are good now. I was going THROUGH it

I told my boyfriend of 2 years I wanted to be with him forever. He's always said he wants to marry me and was so sure. I asked him tonight if he wants to be with me forever... And he hesitated... Then said "maybe"

I haven't cried that hard in so long. I've been crying for 3 hours. Idk how to feel. We've been together through really hard times, and he was the only constant. I can't imagine my life without him. It's only been 2 years, but we're so close.

I felt my stomach lock, my throat swell, and my heart dim. I couldn't breathe. My heart broke. The one person I could count on, isn't so sure anymore. We were talking about moving in and having kids and what our wedding would be like.

He said nothing. I'm scared. I don't want him to leave. We're gonna work on our relationship because we both love each other so much. It's just on uneasy ground now :(

My man don't know the freaky shit I'm into

My upstairs neighbor looks like a loud walker. And she is.

Plant progress. A lot of them I've bought sick. Some more so than others, as you can tell. They seem to be thriving and doing much better than when I bought them. Fingers crossed they make it 🙏

Update: The tiny fucker died that night

I've finally found songs that speak to me

I crave witchy maximalism with gypsy vintage punk artsy vibes

And plants ofc

The gifs on this app are so fucking random what the hell

I'm scarwed. Voting rn at a school gym and oml I hope Kamala wins. As a woman, if Trump wins, I will pass away.

It's way too close for comfort

I'm learning how to make bracelets with embroidery floss. I'm learning how to scrapbook and collage. I'm learning how to be artistic again

I think I need to take my meds and smoke a bowl.

Wish I stayed home. I feel so out of place. I'm the dumb comedic relief in everyone else's lives. I'm not going anywhere or doing anything. It feels pointless. I'm just gonna drink a beer and watch H2O. The OG one. The BEST one

Skyler White if she had a song after divorcing Walter

Help

So zonked at work I forgot what I was doing here

Sometimes I see people and wish I was as functional as they are. I wish I could get up in the mornings without feeling exhausted afterward or even beforehand

But then I remember I have depression and adhd and it's a major imbalance in my brain that's causing me to feel like this then I feel a little better

(It's not my fault)

(I still put in the work, it just takes more out of me than it should)

It doesn't hurt anymore

I like that people hold the elevator open for you but don't move once you've stepped through. You have to be all the way in the elevator as if the doors would've slammed shut on you if they moved their arm.

I would disappear if I found a photo like this of me

Henry Rollins first show with Black Flag, ca. August 21st, 1981, at the Cuckoo's Nest.

I like hot guys

Karlach <3

I was crying then The Climb by Miley Cyrus turned on and I started laughing

I just saw a dad and his son drift through grass on their electric scooters. That was dope as hell

I can't believe I have cauliflower warts. This Compound W needs to work immediately

This is canonically me when I post on Tumblr

Imagine

Someone blacked out their whole chest, except for their extremely pink and sensitive nipples

Idk what jojo siwa is on but I need it

Well, well, well. It's as I predicted. I knew I'd forget I have this app

I feel like I'm losing my spark a little bit. I'm not as happy, fun, or exciting as I used to be, or as life used to be. I'm slowly getting it back, but I'm not sure. I'm mostly around people who are older than me, who aren't as weird as I am. I think I'm just overly masking, and it's taking a bad toll on me. I care too much about what people think, rather than what just makes me happy.

I'm not around people who encourage my real side to come out anymore. Ever since last year happened, I've changed so much. I've shut myself off from the world. I know recognition is the first step to change, but I wish it would happen faster...

A little over a year ago, December 27th, I met someone that changed me. We met on a dating app, and it just went downhill from there. Me being the person I am, I ignored the red flags because he was cute. He mentioned he'd be going to prison and wouldn't tell me why. I ignored it.

By February, I was trapped. I didn't realize it. I was pregnant. I knew that next morning. Sure enough, the test came back positive. I balled in my car. I aborted it and he guilted me. I would never have a baby with him. Ever.

He did and said things to me that will always linger. I didn't feel safe anymore, but I couldn't leave. He threatened me and my family. He knew where I lived and worked. I couldn't hide. He was taken March 24th. I couldn't escape, even when he was behind bars. My heart would drop whenever my phone rang. I cried after every call. I couldn't escape.

A part of me thought he wasn't really in prison. That he was just watching and testing me. That he was waiting outside my home or work, just watching me. I would sleep with my light on and cry into my pillow. I constantly checked the inmate roster and answered the phone calls. It helped put me at ease, seeing legal documentation of his imprisonment.

I lost people I considered my best friends because I was in danger and being controlled by him. My family helped me gain the courage to ignore his calls. I thought he would get the hint... but he called from June - October. On and off. I finally blocked him. I got a protection order on Halloween, and it was approved November 7th. I was finally free.

But he's always here. I dream about him. He's either really sweet and loving, or really scary and violent. I spiraled again today and did a record search of him, checked the roster, and reread the protection order. I stalked his family on social media. I couldn't see straight anymore and sunk into my bed. I couldn't breathe and every horrible thing started coming back. I felt everything again.

My little sister knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to hang out. She saved me and doesn't even know it.

I'm safe. I have loving people in my life. I lost people, but now I know who'll stay by my side, no matter how hard it gets. I know who to avoid and what to look out for. I'm stronger now and I'm proud of my past self for staying alive through all of it. She was so brave, even though she was always in pain and terrified.

I'm sorry I changed, but not really. I'm better now from it. I'll miss how open and happy I was, but I'm slowly coming back to my authentic self. I'm slowly healing and getting better.

Remember this guy?? Yeah... I wish I didn't. He's texting me and telling me how he messed up and how much he misses me. Literally, "I realize what I lost. You're so beautiful like a sunflower and I'm like a weed growing through the concrete." Exactly... That's why I found someone I can share the soil with, rather than someone who'll steal the nutrients from it. HE KNOWS I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. He unsent that shit at like 4 AM.

He texted me again the other week trying to come up with reasons as to why we never got together. Like "because you're a gemini and I always have bad luck with them." Yah it's totally not because you treated me like shit, lead me on, or ignored me?? He's blaming it on me... Not interested ✋️

ALSO I JUST TURNEF 18 AND HE WAS 27??? ew

Anyway that's my rant for now. I'm going to cat sit and drink champagne while listening to angry music

My boss told me to "do my job right" even I literally do??? There are things I can't control and that's what he's mad at. He can't and doesn't even cook his own food 🙄 he's no help on the floor and is always in the way. Like let us do our jobs. And there's things night crew is complaining about but I can play their childish games too 😒