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we were never meant to be permanent

not in

mortality

so the story behind this, today, is that I got emotionally attached to a class I only have for three months ish. that's college for you.

and we came to the end of our time together today sitting around a table, slamming markers and gatorade down in a game in Portuguese I felt so content even knowing it was coming to an end even with the primal fear of someone aboard a speed train about to reach the end of the track one day, it will be permanent but not in this life I will see you all again on the other side Even if I never see you again in this mortal life

It comes down to the principle of Gatorade. That's what I call it because I remember a time when I was a kid that Gatorades were a prize. You could only obtain them by playing soccer because the other kids' soccer moms would bring Gatorade and CapriSun and all those glorious things your parents didn't get for you. Basically, you can't have one Gatorade forever. Makes sense, right?

But what if you could make a Gatorade last forever? What if you were in that one glorious moment forever? The sun shining off the thick clouds in the late golden hour, illuminating the greens and blues in the mountains around, the wind your best friend so exhilarating, the satisfaction of completing a soccer game you loved not for anything in particular other than the fact that you were outside and alive and proving yourself alive and you have a Gatorade.

Make that moment last forever. Now, what do you lose?

Years from now, you'll be at a movie night with friends. You will be scrunched between two people you love on a couch, or maybe curled cozily into a corner, or marinating in a beanbag with a super soft blanket. The movie is the greatest movie you've ever seen and it's only augmented by being cozy with true friends. One day you will finally achieve that skill you spend years trying to perfect. One day you might even learn to cook. You'll meet someone new a thousand times, then a million times. You'll even get to meet the same person again and again if you try. There will be so many people that come and go in your life. So many hobbies and loves and passions and YouTube recommendations.

You will change as a person and maybe you will be scared to. Maybe you'll long for the comfort and safety and glory of the Gatorade in the fresh air.

But if you remain there forever, you will never meet your best friend. You will never have that cozy movie night and never accomplish that tricky thing. You will never encounter so many things to love. TV show or drawing styles or color palettes or characters or songs. You're going to make an awesome PowerPoint one day. Would you give that up for the Gatorade you've already had?

As mortal beings we are confined to a timeline. Time-bound. Afterwards, though, we'll get to be whole, and let me tell you time isn't a problem for God. We'll get to remember each moment of joy we got to have down here on earth. We'll get to live each of them all at once if we want, and be with everyone we love all at once, forever, and I know I'm a mortal and probably butchering this description of what comes next because heck it I've not been there yet but that's sort of what it'll be like.

It's possible for everything we want to be permanent to be permanent in eternity. That's the point of eternity. That is not the point of mortality. The point of mortality is to do many things, experience many things, keep moving.

(As for the loved ones who stay in your life? They change, too, and that's beautiful.)

We were never meant to be permanent in mortality. The permanence comes later.


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