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omg i wrote a fic! today! i was like "i'm gonna write a fic before bed" and then i just... did it! just like that! wild. this never happens. anyway.
Gen-ish, but also Buck/Eddie | 1.8k | T | coda to 8x15 "lab rats", angst with a happy ending because i do not do MCD 🙅🏻♀️
Featuring: Griefstricken!Buck, acts-of-service!Buck, and repression!Buck. Basically.
Buck’s not an idiot. People keep looking at him. He smiles pleasantly and thanks people for their condolences and responds to voicemails and emails and messages. He sees their pity, and thinks viciously, you don’t know a thing about me. He sees the expressions on his coworker’s faces, the hesitation and the knowing that he’s not himself, and acts like he doesn’t. Slides an invisible mask on, assures everyone he’s okay, he’s doing as well as he can be considering the circumstances (he’s not), that yes, he’s talking to someone (he’s not), that he’s not burning the candle at both ends. That last one is debatable, but—he has orders. Cap gave him an order. They’re gonna need you. So he pieces himself together, every morning, and he is there. No one should be concerned about him on top of everything else. They have their own families to worry about. Their own feelings. Buck keeps his buried deep, and prays he doesn’t have a coma nightmare.
this was written very quickly and without much editing, so take from that what you will, but @theflatman yelled at me about pain, so i feel like it might be okay? love you all.