You Will Be Found - Blog Posts

Dear Silver the Hedgehog,

We’ve been wayyyy too out of touch!

Things have been crazy, and it sucks that we don’t talk that much :(

Sincerely, Me.

————————————————————————

Here’s a concept poster for my au idea “Dear Silver the Hedgehog”. I’ve been having a lot of fun thinking this up, and I absolutely love the though of our three hedgehog boys singing ‘Sincerely Me’! Also Silver singing ‘Waving Through a Window’ or Blaze singing ‘Requiem’ are cool to think about :>

(Btw I’m not sure about the last names since technically Shads and Sonic would also have the same ones… maybe I’ll try to come up with something??)

Let me know what you think! Love you guys! 💙🤍💙

Dear Evan Hansen, but Sonic AU

Okay so I saw some animatics and stuff of this and am thinking about trying to write an au hehe {not too happy with the way Sonic turned out in the drawing but I tried😊}

The concept I think would be:

Evan: Silver

Jared: Sonic

Connor: Shadow

Alana: Amy

Zoe: Blaze

Not sure about Zoe’s parents or Evan’s mom, but I thought these fit great! Please enjoy my nerdy ramblings and ideas UwU

What do you guys think?

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

"𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞? 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐲, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧."

𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬: 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

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In the far-off, distant past, there was once a coiling collar.

At the age of 6, Prim was raised to believe one thing. If she were to make her parents proud and happy, then it means she's a good child.

“I want people, I want people,” it cried, this cursed collar.

And so she did. She met every expectations whether small or big, she earned medals at a young age and even had her certificates displayed on the wall.

Don’t get angry. 

"I'm sorry..." Prim softly choked on her sobs as she is kneeling down, clutching onto her father's pants.

Don’t abandon me.

"I won't do it again, I promise!" She begged and cried. All because she made a mistake, she hates it when people yell at her. Why is her father looking at her coldly? Is he leaving her?

Don’t go anywhere.

She was alone in the room, crying. Why did he leave? Didn't she promise to be a good girl? Why? What did she do wrong? She thought she was making him happy!

(Hey.)

As Prim gets older, she kept hearing the same thing from her parents. 'It doesn't matter to us if you're an achiever or not, we just want you to have better grades, but it's better if you are an achiever.'

It strangles me tightly, til I could throw up, whenever no one's, no one's around.

She didn't know when it happened, but she started fulfilling their expectations. She studied hard, getting recognized by teachers and even scoring high marks.

Nice grades, huh?

Prim is holding her report card, the average is high and her conduct is highly satisfactory...yet it feels so...empty to her.

Hey, hey, aren’t I a good kid?

Everytime her mother is viewing her card, she is praising her child for maintaining the high grades. But she nitpicks when her grade in a certain subject is lower than the previous semesters and quarters, causing Prim to feel more pressure.

Aren’t I a cute kid?

Soon, it even turned to appearances. Ever since her father had passed away, she gained weight. She wasn't really all this 'fat' or 'chubby', she's fit.

Hey, hey,

Yet their insults never stopped, it was suffocating to the point she wanted to carve a knife to her skin until she cuts out the imperfect parts of her. Until she began to slowly lose weight, exercising and starting diets even if she has a medical condition that doesn't allow her to eat less.

I’m good, right?

She hated seeing her face, her reflection and body since she gained weight. But as she slowly lost the heavy weight, the fat and chubby cheeks...she could finally be confident in herself, to finally look at a mirror without breaking it.

It hurts, hey...

But why does she sometimes feel like she needs to change some parts of her?

Love me.

She seeks validation, whether through academics or just compliments about her body and face.

Love me.

She even decided to have curtain bangs, to cut her waist-length hair and turn it to a wolfcut.

Love me.

She learned how to use makeup, to make herself look more pretty and hide her ugly parts.

more and more.

"Your eyeliner is amazing!" A girl from Prim's class commented when Prim entered the room. Prim puts on her usual smile for formalities and façades, someone noticed? It felt nice. "Thank you." She softly replies.

Love me.

"If you all need complete notes, you should all talk to Prim." A teacher says during a review session, Prim's eyes widened as she didn't expect anyone to acknowledge her notes. It's pretty, clear and those aesthetic notes you see in pinterest.

Love me.

They were having an activity where a paper with a student's name gets passed around in a circle and everyone writes what the think or see of that person, once Prim read hers, she received many compliments.

So much that it's maddening

Prim gets praised by her teachers that whenever she enters the faculty room, her teachers smile when seeing her.

It's painful

Prim slowly finds herself piled up in duties that were way worse than before, causing her to feel overwhelmed and pressured.

It hurts

She wants to cry, to scream, to be angry. She's human too, why can't they see that? She's not always the Perfect and Smiling President.

Break, break this binding spell, okay?

"Is this what my life would be like?!" She cries to her best friend who remains quiet, gazing at her with pity. She was always known to be perfect, to be able to handle pressure and always come out on top. Yet her closest friends see the truth, how broken and how much pain she endures.

It can't be stopped...

Yet she can't stop this, this responsibility, this pain and this pressure. She was never supposed to be involved in design team for competitions anyway, why did they have to include her in the design team? Once she sent the design, there were no objections. Yet when it was finally discussed upon, those bitches had to fucking ruin it and act arrogantly because someone older was backing them up.

"I'm fucking older than them, I'm the President. I don't use any of these as a way to get things my way, so why the fuck can't they understand and comply when their own ideas are fucking garbage?! I fucking tolerated everything, every fucking headache and stress they give me and this j what I get in return for being so nice, for not being a bitch?!"

Prim throws her bag, destroying everything she sees. Screaming and punching and even kicking things. Destroying graded projects and papers and even attempting to hurt herself. Scratching her body, pulling her hair or hitting her head.

Yet her mother never comforted her, only telling her to stop crying, it's annoying. And it triggered Prim.

No matter how big your body, your body grows, this collar remains small.

Prim continues onto living, putting her dark humor as for 'jokes' when she's thought about offing herself. The fucking adult in the room can't even act like one, yet gives the eldest the fucking responsibility of one. It disappoints and disgusts Prim.

It's agonizing now, but this is nothing new.

She grits her teeth underneath the face mask she wears as she fakes a smile, luckily the face mask hides it. It hides the hatred Prim bears for everyone she despises.

People just, people just—they're not enough.

Prim slowly loses herself in all this pain. If it's not academics she struggles with, it's life.

I vow not to lose to anyone in my class, aren't I a lovely child?

Prim's heart aches and sinks to her stomach each time she reaches the achiever's list, she's happy but only for a short while. Of course, if she tells her mother, that woman would be proud. Yet Prim has to bear the weight of expectations and responsibility again.

(right?)

She can't even play her video games as much as she wants, she can't even laze around for a bit when it's the weekend as much as she wants.

Way more than that child and more than that child. Everyone, marvel at me!

Prim climbs on stage, receives her certificate and smiles brightly before bowing and leaving the stage. Finally, all her hard work and breakdowns made it to where she is now. Is it all worth it?

Behind the gymnasium when I told you that I was in love

"I like you for a really long time now. I know you'd figure that one out easily since you pick up hints that fast." A girl confesses to Prim, she was taken aback of course. Under all that much insecurities and issues she has, someone actually likes her? Or is it just because of how they view her?

Wasn't that kind of a lie?

"Ah, I see..." Prim replies before noticing the girl's nervous expression, she's sensitive to people's emotions. She's scared that if she makes the wrong move, people will hate her and it's all her fault. "How about I think about my answer to you before replying? I...wanna make sure if I feel the same way." She replies, it gives the girl hope. The weight in Prim's chest feels a little light.

I love you so, so very much

Prim accepted the confession, made the relationship work even in long distance. Yet as time passes, that girl seems to change. Be moody, start a fight and not even hear Prim out, even calling out Prim's issue and struggle of being too sensitive to other people's emotions. "You would atleast understand what I'm feeling!" It echoed to Prim's head, she wants to tear that girl apart and rip her to shreds.

Even though I think you are trash.

That girl never went through the abuse and trauma Prim had to undergo, they were never kicked out of the house when they were sick, they never had to experience in facing expectations of everyone or having to change their own body for someone else's sake! Or needing to discard their own pain and feelings because their significant other or family is in pain and need comfort! Or having to fear mirrors because she dislikes the way she looks! Or having to bargain God to atleast change places with her dead father!

Love me.

Now the girl is ghosting Prim. During that time, Prim slowly learned things herself, is this what she really wants in a relationship? To be this hurt and misunderstood just like her mother does? To hate arguments because it reminds her of her mother's fights?

Love me. Love me.

She slowly realized she was losing feelings during the 4 days the girl ghosted her—No, this isn't right! She's supposed to keep her promise! She swore to never be like her father who can't keep a single promise! Why us that girl so cold? Why is the spark gone?! Are they not interested anymore?! Do they not love her anymore?! But Prim loves them! Whether they were being an asshole or a dick, they still accepted the insults and called 'dramatic' for writing Prim's own issues in writing as a coping mechanism.

I'll give you everything.

Everyone knows how devoted and loyal Prim is when she falls in love. Even if there were pretty and handsome people in her school, in her class, she only had eyes for her lover. Wasn't that loyalty enough?! Being excited to talk to her lover after school, to be able to talk to them again...

I'll have you.

And that person broke it off in Halloween, just when Prim had made a gift. Prim felt her world shatter, she didn't know what came of her when she suddenly burned the gift just to feel something. She already lost her own identity, emotions and personality because of everything. She can't feel, what's going on? After all the nights she spent awake trying to understand why this gurl was just so important to her, finally accepting that she is bi...just to be replaced by someone near that girl? A boy?

I'll have you.

She hid the pain from her family, heartbreak is normal after all. People only confess to her because she was the fat pitiful girl, she was used to it. But why does this hurt so much?

I'll have you shoulder everything for me.

She can't cry, she has duties to fulfill. She pushes that pain down and focuses on completing her project and duties as the girl people see her as. Usually, being the President could mean that you are the 'head' or leader of the class when the teacher isn't around, it feels like a dream isn't it? But for Prim? Being the President means needing to do things a Secretary or Monitor should do, needing to keep everyone in check or having to announce events going on in class. Yet the 'popular' girls think they're high and mighty and don't respect Prim, even though Prim wants to hurt them—she never does. She's surprised her patience last that long. Her own adviser is a useless adult as it doesn't even really act like one, giving Prim all the responsibility alone and it makes Prim sick.

It's not enough.

Her eyes lost their shine, she doesn't feel like her body is her own anymore. She doesn't even feel anything, she feels so numb.

You're not enough.

Everytime her mother tries to act affectionate after fighting with her, it makes Prim so sick. She knows she has mommy issues, yet her mom makes everything worse to the point she even questions her own life.

I won't let you go.

She doesn't know what went through her mother's mind, telling her details before, during and after Prim was born. Her father was never present during the time of her mother's pregnancy, he was staying at another girl's house and they broke it off when her mother found out. Yet, they got together when Prim was born. Their anniversary is Prim's birthday, causing her to dislike it.

Please forgive me.

She hates herself even more, disliking her own date of birth. Prim slowly underwent an identity crisis, she has thoughts she wishes to escape that even no internet or music can't help her escape it. She hates her own being, feeling betrayed and offended by the act that her parents had to keep. Pretending to be a 'happy' family, making her think abuse is normal when it isn't. She hates it.

Love me.

Prim doesn't understand why her life became like this.

Love me.

She's been sexually abused since childhood even up till now, no matter what her body looked like.

Love me.

Prim wants to fall in love, to trust someone again after that horrible relationship but...is it really worth it?

More and more.

A lady matures faster than a man is what her mother would say, yet it irritates Prim that her mother never let her experience a proper childhood without all the trauma and abuse or needing to be a perfect golden for validation.

Love me.

When Prim wants to wear what she wants, her mother acts dramatic about it. When Prim wants to put on makeup to make herself look pretty, her brothers act as if it's the end of the world and Prim hates it.

Love me.

Whenever Prim complains, her mother goes "It doesn't matter, you're an honor student now." It makes Prim wonder if that's what's really important to her mom.

So much that it's maddening.

Is her life even worth it just to be a trophy daughter? Is this what she'll grow up to? Pleasing people, putting on façades and always needing to put her pain away because her feelings aren't validated?

It hurts.

She can't breathe.

I won't let go.

Prim gasps for air as she sits up and tries to count to 10 as she takes deep breath.

It hurts.

Prim grips her hair. She's never had an anxiety attack before, she doesn't know what to do. She grabs her phone and tries to breathe. "Hello?" "Mom, come here please." She drops the call and phone as she cries, why can't she breathe?

More, more and hey.

Prim works hard everyday, to make people happy, keep her grades up and to make sure her body maintains it's healthy shape so she won't be rushed to the hospital anymore. She spent her childhood in a hospital and it was torture. White plains walls, machines and tubes around you, oxygen tanks, needles and you feel like wanting to die. Prim's used to the needles poking her skin, she has high pain tolerance after all. Puking acid, that horrible smell of soap they mop the floor with and the food.

This is happiness.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐱: 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬

"𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐬"

WARNING: THIS MAY BE UNCOMFORTABLE AND DISTURBING SO PLEASE EXIT IMMEDIATELY IF YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ‼️

If it was one thing Prim liked being in Teyvat, it's to forget the pressure and façade she had to maintain back in the real world.

Always needing to prove something of herself, always needing to put her studies first, unable to enjoy her life to the point that her mother told her to enjoy her life but gets mad when she does.

She couldn't rest — she just can't, it would hinder what she has to do. What she has to prove of herself, just to be a trophy daughter. The perfect daughter, a doll made for show.

"Everyone's watching, don't show a single flaw"

"Always be kind, don't show them who you really are"

"If you show such behavior like that, they'll say 'Is this how her mother raised her?'. You wouldn't want to upset me, do you?"

Quiet, be quiet!

She always hated those voices in her head. Everywhere she goes, she must maintain a façade just so her mother would shut up. To always be the top, to always exceed the expectations. To always be a doll that never had a life of her own, always study, study, study, study, study.

She hated being called perfect, she hated hearing it so much. She isn't perfect, she's hideous, she's ugly, she has flaws, she's too flawed. Everything isn't what it seems.

The pressure of always being seen as the good girl, she hated it. Always being polite, always showing a gentle smile, so soft-spoken, so responsible.

i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it

As she grew older, the more burn out she feels. She hated being sensitive to others emotions, she hated the fact that a crowded place can drain her no matter the many people there is. She hated feeling their emotions, being aware, sensitive and always needing to be cautious.

One small step that could ruin everything, like walking on a thread that if you make one small mistake, you fall into the endless pit of nothing but a void of emptiness.

And she hated it, knowing what she feels isn't anyone's anymore. That the person she told her sense of sensing others emotions called it all a lie when it's the truth.

'You never experienced what I went through'

What she always wanted to say if she could ever go back in time.

'I gained this all from trauma you didn't have, I gained all this pain from something you should be glad you never experienced for once in your childhood'

She hated it, she hated it when people think she's making shit up when she doesn't. It's all real, it's her vulnerability. Why are you calling it such bullshit?

'You had a happy childhood, something I never had. You were never abused, tormented and ruined for the sake of 'obedience', for the sake of 'teaching a child'.'

Prim wanted to cuss that all out to the girl she once loved, the girl she dedicated her whole time to, she loyally fell for, to the girl who didn't experience the abuse Prim went through.

It was all planned. It all was.

To wait until college for them to finally be official, but no, no, no, no. Things just had to take a turn.

Prim became herself, became expressive, her façades were no more, non-existent when it came to that girl.

So why? Why?!

Why did she think all those were lies?!

Why didn't she accept the way Prim behaved?!

That it isn't the good girl Prim?!

That this is who Prim is?!

'I don't know, I just felt like being lied to.'

BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT

LIED TO?!

YOU FELT FUCKING LIED TO?!

YOU CALL MY VULNERABILITY A LIE?!

WHERE THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS THE LIE?!

WHERE?!

TELL ME.

TELL.

ME.

Prim's chest rise up and down quickly, in anger, in rage.

Prim always had anger issues she tried to control, to the point that no one can tell when she's angry.

Her anger appears and dies down quickly as if it never existed in the first place.

She was in the piano room again, it was midnight. She was alone.

She always struggled to sleep properly, especially in unfamiliar places despite living in Teyvat for almost a month now.

She had moved on, yes.

But her anger, all the words and explanations unsaid were haunting her again.

It wasn't easy to move on, it's like the stages of grief.

She accepted it, that she couldn't change what happened back in November.

But a part of her is angry for being mistreated like that, that she felt it. She felt the way the girl she liked was replying to her as if forced.

She knew and she hated it.

She thought everything went back to normal after their arguement, but no.

It just stayed downhill.

She felt herself struggling to breathe again, she immediately clutched the side of her head as she sits up and tries to steady her breathing.

"27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32..."

She mutters as she keeps counting to distract herself, to prevent her anxiety happening again.

It felt painful, each night during August that she kept having panic attacks for a week straight.

She hated it, she hated her own anxiety that can tear her down immediately even if she was prepared for it.

"40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45..."

She counted again, and again and again before unknowingly sitting down and playing the piano.

Her favorite that could hurt her so much.

Duet from Omori.

Her fingers glided through the piano as she starts to play, the melody calming her down immediately as she continues to play.

She memorized Mari's part in that duet, she loved hearing it over and over again. It would never bore her, it would just comfort her.

As she continues to olay, she hears her mind play Sunny's violin, she smiles unconsciously and continues playing. Relaxing as she closes her eyes and lets herself be at peace.

The mansion was empty, but it was filled by the beautiful melody against these closed walls.

Prim liked being alone most of the time, it was to get away from all her responsibilities but she hated the hidden vulnerability in it. Ready to attack her at any times she lets her guard down, that's why she often isolates herself. She wants to be herself, to feel what she feels.

Not being wary of someone's emotions, not feeling what others feel. It's frustrating, knowing what you feel isn't yours.

but with music, it helps her. It eases her.

Diluc and Kaeya enter the mansion, the maids are in Vacation as Diluc had requested for thanking them for always taking care of this place, they immediately hear the melodious tune getting faster and faster.

"I didn't expect her grace to be awake at this hour"

Kaeya says, talking smoothly that would make anyone swoon while Diluc sighs.

Must've been her insomnia again

They head to where the source of the sound is and spot Prim in her nightgown and cardigan, clearly in her sleepwear as her hair is covering her face as she continues to play.

Kaeya remembered the first time he saw her play, it was beautiful yet sad.

And this one, this one hits harder yet he doesn't know why.

No words were sung in the air, yet why did it feel so...painful to listen to?

They waited until Prim finished playing before Kaeya clapped and caused Prim to flinch.

"Anak ng putang—"

They raised a brow but Kaeya spoke.

"That was a wonderful performance, Your Grace."

They hear her mutter something before they can finally get a glance of her face.

"Kaeya, Diluc. Done for the day?"

"Not Diluc though"

"Oh quit it, Kaeya"

Both of them take Prim's each hand and kiss the back of it, Prim is used to their gesture but she can't help but malfunction each time.

"It's late, Your Grace. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

Kaeya smoothly asks, his tone already sounds worried as he places a hand on Prim's waist.

"Ah, yeah. I just...needed to relax"

Prim said, avoiding the reason which is about her anxiety.

"I see, well, now that we're here. Why don't we all do a cuddle pile? We haven't done one for weeks"

Prim hummed softly as if agreeing to the plan while Diluc sighs.

"I have matters to attend to"

"Well, the offer still stands, 'Luc~"

Prim tells Diluc to be safe which he nods as he leaves while Kaeya looks at Prim and carries her like a princess.

boy, what the absolute fUCK—

"Kaeya?!"

Prim's arms wrapped around his neck as Kaeya grins.

"Come on, can't I cuddle with my lovely creator~?"

Prim softly sighs as Kaeya carries her to her room and they cuddle in bed, despite Kaeya's cold vision, Prim seemed to like the coldness radiate from his body.

No words were spoken, only gestures. They both held each other as if they were afraid the other would disappear into thin air and it grounded them.

"Goodnight, Your Grace."

"Goodnight, Kaeya"

And it ended in a happy note el oh el 💀 sorry if it was too disturbing at first, I hope you enjoyed reading (?)

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

"𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞"

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Warning: some may be ooc and this is longer than the rest ajdjwanwkwkwkw. Enjoy!

masterlist

"The Day of the Festival"

Kaeya says before looking at Prim.

"Are you ready, my lady?"

He asks softly as Prim is trying to stop her shaking hands, admiring Prim's outfit.

"Don't remind her, she knows"

Diluc says as he comes downstairs, wearing something that nearly made Prim choke. (She likes seeing hot men/pretty boys in suits, it's her weakness. You're welcome ;D)

Kaeya smirks.

"Oh? But isn't it better to remind her?"

Prim screams mentally.

I forgot I'm surrounded by pretty men hnghhhh

She then notices Kaeya's outfit.

oh have mercy—

"—you ready, your grace?"

Diluc asks as he lends a hand out to Prim.

"m-mhm..."

FUCK THEY'RE SO HOT HNGHHH

She gently places her gloved hand on top of Diluc's before Kaeya snatches her other hand and they walk to the carriage.

"I must say, it's a new sight to behold, seeing you all dressed so formally."

Kaeya says as he eyes Prim, causing Diluc to smack the back of his head.

"Be respectful"

Diluc mutters as Prim's shaking hands are rubbing each other, the two notice it once more.

She can't calm down

They take her hands and gently squeeze it, causing Prim to squeak at the sudden cold and warm feeling.

"Calm down, if anything happens. We're here to make sure it'll go well"

Diluc says as Prim nods.

"Sorry, I just—um, don't do well when I know there's a crowded place."

Prim says as she mutters something under her breath as Kaeya perks up.

"We could reduce the citizens, your—"

"No, no, no, no, no. I don't wanna break their hearts, haha—"

Prim says as the two sigh.

"If the crowd's too overwhelming, look for one of us and we'll escort you away"

"Thank you"

"Anytime, Your Grace"

- - - - - >

While everyone's preparing the small stage, Prim gets taken aback by the dandelions near her.

Ah...

She gently reaches out to it before her heart aches.

I guess...this'll be my closure to you

She closes her eyes.

I hope you'll find happiness whether I'm there or not, I hope we'll both be happy and move on. You became a part of my chapter, it's time to flip the page. May we both find happiness and love, and be happy that the other is happy no matter what. No more hard feelings or malice, just pure joy.

She softly blows the dandelion, watching it fly to the air before walking away. A certain bard seems to have felt what had flown to the air.

"Your Grace, this is Venti. The bard that'll play—"

"and Barbatos, the Anemo Archon"

"A-Ah, yes..."

Jean stutters, wondering how Prim knew but dared not to question it as Venti grins.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Your Grace!"

Prim smiles softly.

"Likewise."

Venti takes Prim away while Diluc is staring at them, Kaeya chuckles and tells Diluc to relax.

"So, I felt the wind flow a bit differently today~"

Venti says as he picks up flowers for Prim who's sitting on a rock and watching him.

"Ah, so you felt it."

Was all Prim said, smiling softly. Venti's gaze softens at the sight of Prim being surrounded by crystal flies and her smile didn't have pain in it anymore.

She's letting go, that song will be her closure.

He softly smiles before weaving a flower crown for Prim who's preoccupied with the crystal flies.

"You know...the first time I felt your presence, I didn't know who it was at first. I was taken aback actually!"

Venti says as he continues weaving flower crowns, Prim watches his fingers do the weaving.

Ah, he weaves like how my cousin taught me...

"But you know, after seeing you help the Traveler, help the nations and went through all that...I can't help but feel grateful to you, for...for everything"

Venti says, Prim hums as she gently tucks a cecilia on Venti's ear.

"I'm glad you did the right thing, Barbatos. Whether you were a whisp or not, I'm just glad it's you."

She softly says as she kisses the top of his head, Venti gently holds her wrists before looking at her.

"You mean it?"

"I do. I know you hold the guilt of...all that, and I know. You don't have to say anything, but I'll always be proud of you. Whether you're a bard or an Archon, I'll cherish what you did for this nation."

Prim says softly as Venti gently places the flower crown on top of her head before hugging her gently.

"Thank you, Your Grace."

He says softly, pulling her close before they hear someone clear their throat.

"I'm afraid we have to cut that moment short, it's starting"

Albedo says as Prim gently pulls away from the hug and accepts Albedo's arm to hook her hand with, Venti lets out a small 'ehe' before following them.

"Your Grace, the program's starting already so you needn't be worried about missing out"

He says as Prim softly smiles, Venti watches her smile and his heart feels warm. He knew what that smile meant, the first time he saw her, he saw how her eyes held something he's afraid of asking. Yet the moment the dandelion was blown onto the wind, he knew that what that was is now in the past as she continues on in her journey.

After a while of the games and activities for the children and adults alike, it was time for the intermission as food is being served.

Prim nervously grabs her ukulele and walks up to the stage as she sits on the chair, with the help of Kaeya lifting her up so her skirt wouldn't ride up as he places a shawl on her lap so she wouldn't be uncomfortable with the dress's skirt, she clears her throat as she feels the nervousness settle in.

It's not your first time, it's okay.

There's people here who support you.

Whatever happens in this intermission, you just enjoy it.

Prim takes a deep breath before strumming her ukulele, Venti uses a little wind manipulation for everyone to hear the instrument being played and Prim's voice to be heard.

"Maybe it's the way you say my name"

Prim notices her hands shaking as she progresses from chord to chord but she ignores it.

"Maybe it's the way you play your game"

She remembers it all again, with this song was the one she always hesitated to play, the song that'll bring back unwanted memories.

"But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you...but it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you"

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

"And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime, and I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine...'cause"

Her mind is at ease now, the pain slowly stops gnawing her heart. And slowly, she finds it nice, that the pain is slowly leaving. That the closure she always wanted to get is finally settling in.

"I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine and I see forever in your eyes, I feel okay when I see your smile, smile"

Out of everyone else, only Venti knew what it meant. Whether it was the wind that told him or the song, he's happy she's finally getting what she always wanted. To be able to accept something she knew she couldn't change even if she tried, to be able to finally leave a chapter in her story to move on from the past.

"Wishing on dandelions all of the time, praying to God that one day you'll be mine, wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time~"

- - - - >

They're now in Angel's Share, well, drinking except for Prim.

"You did amazing out there, Your Grace. You sound like a siren back there"

Kaeya says as he takes his shot of the alcoholic beverage as Prim drinks her fruit juice.

"Oh, Thank you..."

Prim says softly as her hands are still shaking from the performance, Venti of course is letting loose and drinking. Not that Prim minded.

"I do apologize for letting you see this side of them, Your Grace."

Diluc says as he continues to serve the drinks, making sure Prim still has the fruit juice beverage and not alcohol.

"It's okay, 'Luc. I'm used to handling drunkards so this sight is nothing new to me"

Prim says softly as she thanks him for pouring her glass more fruit juice, this statement makes Kaeya perk up.

"Oh? You know how to handle drunkards?"

He leans his cheek on his palm as he stares at Prim who's drinking her fruit juice.

"Hm? Yeah, I know how."

It was summer of May

Prim says in her head as she does an anime sweatdrop before Kaeya comes closer to her and Diluc had to grab the back of his collar.

"So you've seen all the worst of a drunk person?"

"Technically, yes. Even the most calmest and rational person I know was...just a surprising person when drunk"

Prim held back her laughter as she remember her one cousin who got drunk the first time, started saying things over and over again, did jumping jacks, danced weird and screamed Olivia Rodrigo's and Taylor Swift's songs at 5am, all in one night.

Kaeya smiles at Prim.

"Then you knew that some are veryy~ clingy when drunk, hm?"

Diluc groans, Kaeya's drunk flirting again as Prim didn't seem to mind it.

"Yeah, I've had someone...cling unto me when I said I'll go check on the others drunkards who went outside, had to reassure her I wouldn't leave her there."

She says, never forgetting the fact her cousin suddenly latched onto her when Prim grabbed her coat and said that she'll check on her older brother who left to go to the other house where they stay in, it was tough having someone be a clingy drunk get off you but Prim did it gently and kindly, knowing the alcohol is taking effect and was patient enough to tolerate it.

Her?

Was all that went through their minds before Kaeya got the chance to speak, Prim got up from her seat.

"I need to use the bathroom, where is it?"

Diluc escorts her to where the bathroom is like the gentleman he is.

"You know, I actually want to see her grace drunk"

Venti says as he's trying to get Albedo drunk but to no avail, Rosaria takes a sip from her glass.

"And you think it's a good idea?"

"Why not give it a shot! Who knows? She might actually be a clingy drunk, ehe~!"

Diluc comes back as Prim had now used the bathroom, he eyes Venti and Kaeya suspiciously as Rosaria continues to drink quietly, used to the antics of her two drinking buddies.

"I'm back, what did I miss?"

Prim softly asks as Albedo gently places his hands on her waist before lifting her up on the chair, knowing how Prim struggles on stools when wearing a dress and skirt.

"Thank you, Albedo"

She softly says as Albedo nods and kisses the back of her hand before heading back to his seat, which of course Venti starts to say he did that just to touch Prim.

All of a sudden, the three drinking buddies are quiet as Prim takes a sip of her fruit juice.

"Hm? What's gotten you all so quiet?"

Prim softly asks as she continues to sip, Kaeya shakes her head before drinking more wine and Venti follows through.

Three hours have passed, Prim decides to bring Kaeya home since he's too wasted.

"Your Grace, you don't feel dizzy or anything?"

Rosaria asks all of a sudden.

Hot cryo mommy hngh—

Prim internally has a bi panic before smiling at Rosaria on the outside.

"Oh, I'm fine! Don't worry, I'll just bring Kaeya home so he can sober up easily."

Prim slings Kaeya's arm on her shoulder, her hand on his waist as she waves to the others goodbye before escorting Kaeya back home, to Dawn Winery.

As they leave the Tavern, Diluc cleans the glasses.

"You put alcohol in her drink, didn't you?"

Diluc asks as he glares down at Venti who lets out a small 'ehe' and looks away.

"What do you mean? Of course I did not~!"

Diluc sighs before Albedo speaks up.

"He did actually, almost emptied half a bottle for that."

"Half a bott—"

Diluc feels a headache come in.

"I'm closing the tavern."

What if Her Grace gets in trouble? She could've passed out!

- - - - dawn winery - - - -

Prim sighs as Kaeya's finally on his bed, she then helps him take off his shoes and all.

"Kaeya, take a bath. You need to sober up"

She softly pats his cheek as he sits up and does what she said, Prim feels her mind get hazy so she quietly and carefully walks to her room.

That's weird, it felt like that time I accidentally drank real wine and got myself tipsy...

Prim takes a bath in her room to feel the alcohol go away.

A few hours later, Diluc enters the Winery and quickly knocks on Prim's door.

"Your Grace?"

He softly calls out as Prim opens her door, in her nightwear and her hair more free.

"Diluc? Welcome back, are you going for your Darknight Hero duties?"

"I just finished."

"I see..."

"Do you...feel tipsy perhaps?"

He hesitantly asks as Prim hums.

"Well, I felt like my mind was hazy but I'm still conscious so I took a bath to sober up. Hm, it was as if that time I did get a bit tipsy because my mom lied about the wine not having alcohol..."

Prim mumbles and Diluc perks up at that.

"Your Grace, are you sure you aren't drunk?"

"Hm? Well no. If I were drunk, I probably would've stumbled and slurred my words. Also, don't worry, it's not the first time I got tipsy"

That's not the point!

Diluc screams in his head as he gently cups Prim's cheeks.

"Diluc?"

She looks at him.

Holy shit, his hands are warm

"Your Grace, are you sure you aren't drunk?"

"Of course! Kaeya's worse though."

He sighs softly before nodding.

"Alright, I'll let you have your sleep now. Goodnight, Your Grace."

"Goodnight, Diluc"

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

THE CREATOR

Prim / Sona Yuki

"Don't worry, baby. No one's going to hurt you not when I'm here, ready to attack anyone who dares touch you or look at you that way"

HERE PRIM ISSS WOOHOOO

So Prim is her "Creator" name whereas Sona Yuki is her alias.

Pronouns are she/her, he/him, they/them

Prim's an aromantic

Biologically female

If she isn't the creator, she'd have a hydro or dendro vision.

Her weapon is a polearm (again, if playable)

She has red streaks in her hair as she did that as a joke, now she kind of (?) remembers Vox Akuma with the red streaks (I'm sorry Vox, ily <3)

She wears a silk blouse on top of her black sleeveless turtleneck

She wears rings and fishnet gloves

Somehow fucking emo, don't ask why

"It's not a phase, it's a lifestyle, BITCH" - Prim

Very flirty (usually for fan service)

She has a flirty personality due to going to cosplay events back in the real world, so she's used to being flirty, flirted upon and is used to people asking her for...regular cosplay things. (Not dirty, you hoes)

Somehow messy short hair (?) One bang covers her eyes cause she likes being a mysterious mf. This bitch [affectionately]

Has deep blue ocean eyes that sometimes changes into her natural hazel eyes.

Ocean blue eyes (as Sona Yuki)

Hazel Eyes (Prim)

Likes to keep flowers and stores them in her small box that she somehow brought with her in her black bag.

She's very fashionable af, but often dresses like an e-boy or e-girl.

When she's mad or when a situation goes out of hand, she remains quiet to avoid saying things she shouldn't say.

Somehow fucking patient and rarely raises her voice.

Can be your maternal-figure or sister-figure

When she's playful, her hands go to your neck and rests there.

If she likes a certain topic, she rambles. (Try telling her to shut up, I dare you)

If ever someone tells her to stop rambling, it breaks her excitement and she never does it again. (Try, you bastard)

Mommy and Daddy Issues

Has a fucking trauma that even her therapist can't help her

In her healing/self-love era

Trying to heal the traumatic scars

Has a dark humor often about her dead dad

Has a curvy figure. big hips big butt yk.

Her thighs are thick as well, lucky for those with thigh privileges.

Always wears this blue scrunchie a friend gave her which she cherishes deeply <3

Is aromantic but wants a gf/bf.

A green flag despite her trauma.

Sometimes acts like a man.

Often man spreads when sitting except when she wears skirts or shorts.

If she has an urge, she must do it.

Very affectionate when you're close to her, she even gives platonic kisses (not on the lips)

Often wears her black face mask (so if ever you want her to kiss you on the lips, expect a face mask to be the one blocking her actual lips.)

Very lazy but also hard working.

Don't scold her for laying down and doing nothing, she's recharging her social battery.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 masterlist

"𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨?"

𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐔

'To heal, it takes time. May be soon or not, I just hope you find yourself along the way'

This masterlist will serve as the journey of Prim/Shinsuke (me) healing both through Prim's Journey in Healing and finding herself as well as Me, Shinsuke, finding writing as a way to heal myself.

As a reminder, this series may mention trauma (which I will not elaborate or else it'll take us time) and if you are sensitive to it, feel free to scroll.

By this, maybe writing and making my oc cope or deal with it in a healthy way can help me heal too. As it is truly the time for me to heal and live my life with no chains holding me back. Again, this is my way of healing, you can read this whether you want to or not. It's appreciated

WELCOME TO TEYVAT! SHALL WE START THE JOURNEY OF HEALING?

THE CREATOR

Prim

THE JOURNEY

I.

Prologue

Chapter One: Mondstadt, City of Freedom

Chapter Two: The Comfort

Chapter Three: The Darknight Hero, Fairytale

Chapter Four: Dance with the Ragbros

Chapter Five: Dandelions

Chapter Six: One Last Dance

Chapter Seven: Rizzbedo and Death Stare

Chapter Eight: I'm just human

( NEW STORY QUEST UNLOCKED‼️)

"This is the story of the Almighty Creator, a journey that even Cathedrals and History books cannot record. But beware when reading, it gets personal and it will not only feel like invasion, but it will also feel disturbing. If you wish to proceed with this lore, then you shall have fun."

Closed Walls

Closed Walls: Prologue

Closed Walls: Chapter One

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐔

"𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨?"

'To heal, it takes time. May be soon or not, I just hope you find yourself along the way'

Prologue

Prim stares at the message she woke up to, there was nothing official in the first place yet she had caught feelings along the way. The journey that they shared was sweet while it lasted, but I guess people drift apart to the point they start to realize things they usually didn't realize when they were younger.

Maybe she could play Genshin to ignore the emptiness she feels, how she feels like she went back to her pre-quarantine self who feels pain and nothing.

Or maybe, she could just try to heal and think of what she feels.

But she feels nothing, ever since things kept happening, she continued to feel nothing anymore. The emotions, they're there. Yet she comes home, feeling nothing but a void of emptiness.

She decides to play Genshin, she's trying to fix Kaeya's build anyway. Awfully regretting she didn't level up Beidou's talents yesterday as well but she decides to let it be first, she needs to focus on Kaeya for the meantime before Beidou, then Kazuha, then Xiao.

TEYVAT AWAITS YOU, CREATOR!

Wait until 00:00 (The Next Day) before heading to Mondstadt

Prim blinks, thinking of it as just a new quest as she decides to do that after finishing her comms. She needs the primogems after all.

"alright, I guess I should do that quest"

She mumbles, even if she wanted to finish her Raiden Shogun Quest where she battles La Signora or Rosalyne. Yet her characters aren't built properly yet, it's like heading straight for suicide.

It wouldn't hurt to do another quest that isn't the Raiden Shogun's, yes?

Oh, how those were her last words in the real world.

Welcome to Teyvat, Creator! Are you ready to heal and create new memories?

In this quest you wish to heal the emptiness and to gain your emotions back, Teyvat hopes that we can help you as much as you helped us. By helping Traveller find their twin without giving up despite the others not being much of help, Traveller and Paimon will help you in your journey as much as you helped them.

Will you let us help the way you help us, Your Excellency?

As the start of my first SAGAU Series, I will take this as my way of healing. Whether it helps you heal too or not, it's okay. I just want to pour my feelings out, for every pain and numbness to be written so when I look back, I can be glad that I'm still here and made my way into healing.