๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐

๐‚๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐’๐ข๐ฑ: ๐‚๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐–๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฌ

"๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ง๐จ๐›๐จ๐๐ฒ ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ž ๐ฌ๐ž๐ž๐ฌ"

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐

WARNING: THIS MAY BE UNCOMFORTABLE AND DISTURBING SO PLEASE EXIT IMMEDIATELY IF YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK โ€ผ๏ธ

If it was one thing Prim liked being in Teyvat, it's to forget the pressure and faรงade she had to maintain back in the real world.

Always needing to prove something of herself, always needing to put her studies first, unable to enjoy her life to the point that her mother told her to enjoy her life but gets mad when she does.

She couldn't rest โ€” she just can't, it would hinder what she has to do. What she has to prove of herself, just to be a trophy daughter. The perfect daughter, a doll made for show.

"Everyone's watching, don't show a single flaw"

"Always be kind, don't show them who you really are"

"If you show such behavior like that, they'll say 'Is this how her mother raised her?'. You wouldn't want to upset me, do you?"

Quiet, be quiet!

She always hated those voices in her head. Everywhere she goes, she must maintain a faรงade just so her mother would shut up. To always be the top, to always exceed the expectations. To always be a doll that never had a life of her own, always study, study, study, study, study.

She hated being called perfect, she hated hearing it so much. She isn't perfect, she's hideous, she's ugly, she has flaws, she's too flawed. Everything isn't what it seems.

The pressure of always being seen as the good girl, she hated it. Always being polite, always showing a gentle smile, so soft-spoken, so responsible.

i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it

As she grew older, the more burn out she feels. She hated being sensitive to others emotions, she hated the fact that a crowded place can drain her no matter the many people there is. She hated feeling their emotions, being aware, sensitive and always needing to be cautious.

One small step that could ruin everything, like walking on a thread that if you make one small mistake, you fall into the endless pit of nothing but a void of emptiness.

And she hated it, knowing what she feels isn't anyone's anymore. That the person she told her sense of sensing others emotions called it all a lie when it's the truth.

'You never experienced what I went through'

What she always wanted to say if she could ever go back in time.

'I gained this all from trauma you didn't have, I gained all this pain from something you should be glad you never experienced for once in your childhood'

She hated it, she hated it when people think she's making shit up when she doesn't. It's all real, it's her vulnerability. Why are you calling it such bullshit?

'You had a happy childhood, something I never had. You were never abused, tormented and ruined for the sake of 'obedience', for the sake of 'teaching a child'.'

Prim wanted to cuss that all out to the girl she once loved, the girl she dedicated her whole time to, she loyally fell for, to the girl who didn't experience the abuse Prim went through.

It was all planned. It all was.

To wait until college for them to finally be official, but no, no, no, no. Things just had to take a turn.

Prim became herself, became expressive, her faรงades were no more, non-existent when it came to that girl.

So why? Why?!

Why did she think all those were lies?!

Why didn't she accept the way Prim behaved?!

That it isn't the good girl Prim?!

That this is who Prim is?!

'I don't know, I just felt like being lied to.'

BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT

BULLSHIT

LIED TO?!

YOU FELT FUCKING LIED TO?!

YOU CALL MY VULNERABILITY A LIE?!

WHERE THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS THE LIE?!

WHERE?!

TELL ME.

TELL.

ME.

Prim's chest rise up and down quickly, in anger, in rage.

Prim always had anger issues she tried to control, to the point that no one can tell when she's angry.

Her anger appears and dies down quickly as if it never existed in the first place.

She was in the piano room again, it was midnight. She was alone.

She always struggled to sleep properly, especially in unfamiliar places despite living in Teyvat for almost a month now.

She had moved on, yes.

But her anger, all the words and explanations unsaid were haunting her again.

It wasn't easy to move on, it's like the stages of grief.

She accepted it, that she couldn't change what happened back in November.

But a part of her is angry for being mistreated like that, that she felt it. She felt the way the girl she liked was replying to her as if forced.

She knew and she hated it.

She thought everything went back to normal after their arguement, but no.

It just stayed downhill.

She felt herself struggling to breathe again, she immediately clutched the side of her head as she sits up and tries to steady her breathing.

"27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32..."

She mutters as she keeps counting to distract herself, to prevent her anxiety happening again.

It felt painful, each night during August that she kept having panic attacks for a week straight.

She hated it, she hated her own anxiety that can tear her down immediately even if she was prepared for it.

"40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45..."

She counted again, and again and again before unknowingly sitting down and playing the piano.

Her favorite that could hurt her so much.

Duet from Omori.

Her fingers glided through the piano as she starts to play, the melody calming her down immediately as she continues to play.

She memorized Mari's part in that duet, she loved hearing it over and over again. It would never bore her, it would just comfort her.

As she continues to olay, she hears her mind play Sunny's violin, she smiles unconsciously and continues playing. Relaxing as she closes her eyes and lets herself be at peace.

The mansion was empty, but it was filled by the beautiful melody against these closed walls.

Prim liked being alone most of the time, it was to get away from all her responsibilities but she hated the hidden vulnerability in it. Ready to attack her at any times she lets her guard down, that's why she often isolates herself. She wants to be herself, to feel what she feels.

Not being wary of someone's emotions, not feeling what others feel. It's frustrating, knowing what you feel isn't yours.

but with music, it helps her. It eases her.

Diluc and Kaeya enter the mansion, the maids are in Vacation as Diluc had requested for thanking them for always taking care of this place, they immediately hear the melodious tune getting faster and faster.

"I didn't expect her grace to be awake at this hour"

Kaeya says, talking smoothly that would make anyone swoon while Diluc sighs.

Must've been her insomnia again

They head to where the source of the sound is and spot Prim in her nightgown and cardigan, clearly in her sleepwear as her hair is covering her face as she continues to play.

Kaeya remembered the first time he saw her play, it was beautiful yet sad.

And this one, this one hits harder yet he doesn't know why.

No words were sung in the air, yet why did it feel so...painful to listen to?

They waited until Prim finished playing before Kaeya clapped and caused Prim to flinch.

"Anak ng putangโ€”"

They raised a brow but Kaeya spoke.

"That was a wonderful performance, Your Grace."

They hear her mutter something before they can finally get a glance of her face.

"Kaeya, Diluc. Done for the day?"

"Not Diluc though"

"Oh quit it, Kaeya"

Both of them take Prim's each hand and kiss the back of it, Prim is used to their gesture but she can't help but malfunction each time.

"It's late, Your Grace. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

Kaeya smoothly asks, his tone already sounds worried as he places a hand on Prim's waist.

"Ah, yeah. I just...needed to relax"

Prim said, avoiding the reason which is about her anxiety.

"I see, well, now that we're here. Why don't we all do a cuddle pile? We haven't done one for weeks"

Prim hummed softly as if agreeing to the plan while Diluc sighs.

"I have matters to attend to"

"Well, the offer still stands, 'Luc~"

Prim tells Diluc to be safe which he nods as he leaves while Kaeya looks at Prim and carries her like a princess.

boy, what the absolute fUCKโ€”

"Kaeya?!"

Prim's arms wrapped around his neck as Kaeya grins.

"Come on, can't I cuddle with my lovely creator~?"

Prim softly sighs as Kaeya carries her to her room and they cuddle in bed, despite Kaeya's cold vision, Prim seemed to like the coldness radiate from his body.

No words were spoken, only gestures. They both held each other as if they were afraid the other would disappear into thin air and it grounded them.

"Goodnight, Your Grace."

"Goodnight, Kaeya"

And it ended in a happy note el oh el ๐Ÿ’€ sorry if it was too disturbing at first, I hope you enjoyed reading (?)

More Posts from Shinsukeee and Others

4 months ago

Thank you my friend for the help please repost from time to time thank you ๐Ÿค๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’

You're welcome, I'm happy to help!!

1 year ago

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

1 year ago
Anotha One ๐Ÿ˜ค Mf Was Really Hating On Ms. Ma'am For Nooooothing. "She's GoNna StEal THE BOyS...." Like

Anotha one ๐Ÿ˜ค mf was really hating on Ms. Ma'am for nooooothing. "She's goNna StEal tHE bOyS...." Like babes...bffr... As if she isn't constantly flirting w/ MC through the chats...mkay.

3 months ago

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐

"๐–๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ฌ๐จ๐ง ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐›๐ฅ๐š๐ฆ๐ž? ๐–๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐๐จ๐ž๐ฌ ๐š ๐ฆ๐š๐ง ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ?"

๐‚๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐Ÿ–: ๐ˆ'๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐š๐ง

๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐

Weirdly enough, Prim finds herself heading to Dragonspine. Diluc decided to have someone tailor her a coat, she's grateful but it feels like she just gained brothers. She has the path memorized by now, remembering the idiocy she had when she was a new player back then before the burnout from Genshin occured and made her stop playing.

As soon as she reaches the cave, her tracks stop there for some reason as she feels her vision attempt to make the entire world spin for her.

"Your Grace?"

Prim's vision clears, her body lying in the snow as the flakes drop from the sky and she finds herself seeing a pretty angel looking at her with concern.

"Albedo?"

The homunculus helps her up, dusting off the snow from her coat and guiding her inside the cave to keep her warm.

"I thought you wouldn't come."

His voice was soft as he makes sure there's enough sticks to keep the fire burning, Prim takes notice of her surroundingsโ€”they all feel so familiar yet so far at the same time, like she barely remembers this from her memory. Has it truly been that long since she last played this game?

"Why so?"

She replies as she pulls the coat to keep herself warm, it doesn't go unnoticed by Albedo as he makes sure the fire burns enough.

"Kaeya seems apologetic when he saw me."

"Oh."

Is all she can say. A part of her would feel guilt for suddenly acting that way towards Kaeya, but she doesn't remember why she felt so defensiveโ€”she'll have to apologize to him later when she gets back.

"What did you need me for?"

She doesn't need pleasantries anymore, she just wants to hide in the covers and isolwte again. Being around people, being treated like a God is exhaustingโ€”this made her respect the Archons for dealing with this back in the days.

"There was a scripture from the Church."

That statement sent shivers down her spine, Prim used to love the church until there were things that felt so wrong for herโ€”it can't be helped that super religious scare her deeply with how they sound so robotic and possessed by saying, "I prayed to my God and..." This and that.

Especially when she lost her father, her great grandmother and other grandmotherโ€”all she heard from them was, "It was God's plan". For what exactly?

"It says in those scriptures that you've done things and that it changed the way you are."

Albedo says, Prim relaxes as she realized that it's not that kind of religious way.

"I'm curious, do deities have the same curiosity as a child before it changed their perspective?"

Prim chuckles, staring into her cold fingertips.

"It depends, but I believe it's more on experience and how you're exposed to what part of life."

Albedo nods and notes it down.

"What's it like?"

"Pardon?"

"What's it like having to lose that innocence you once had?"

That's a question that forever haunted her, there was a lot of things she went through that she'd never wish upon her worst enemyโ€”even someone who doesn't talk to her anymore because they're being immature than talking properly.

"It's a grief that will keep you up at night, something you know will berate you until you learn to push those memories away and be able to breathe again."

And she's back here again, in the Dawn Winery. Something's keeping her up as she opens her device, she turns it off and sighs as she knows she has to move on now. After all, sometimes you have to leave a friendship behind to see if it'll still be the way it is when you're older.

"Diluc?"

"Your Grace?"

To Prim, Diluc is like an older brotherโ€”something about him makes her want to shrink back to a child and cry to him until she passes out.

"Has there ever been a moment where you have to convince yourself that what you did is just you being human?"


Tags
1 year ago

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals canโ€™t rb this then we canโ€™t be mutuals

1 month ago

Mods and Deepbias - Open Letter about the Toxicity in the Official Discord

Mods And Deepbias - Open Letter About The Toxicity In The Official Discord

If you've been feeling frustrated, isolated, or unfairly targeted due to biased moderation and ongoing toxicity in the official Love and Deepspace Discord server, you're not alone. Below you'll find two versions of an open letter addressing these serious concerns directly to Love and Deepspace's customer service. Feel free to copy, customize, and send this letter to the game's support team.

Together, we can ensure our voices are heard, bring attention to this issue, and advocate for a safer, fairer, and more welcoming environment for all fans. By speaking out, we remind the company that their global moderation team should embody fairness, respect, and genuine support - not bias, toxicity, or unfair treatment of fans.

Your voice matters. Let's work together to reclaim a healthier fandom space.

Here's their e-mail adress: loveanddeepspace-en@infoldgames.com

You can also send these letters to the ingame Customer Service and/or mention them in future surveys.

Mods And Deepbias - Open Letter About The Toxicity In The Official Discord

Version 1:

Subject: Concerns Regarding Bias and Moderation Issues in the Official Love and Deepspace Discord Server

Dear Love and Deepspace Customer Support,

I am writing as a dedicated and passionate player who has grown increasingly concerned about the ongoing moderation bias on the official Love and Deepspace Discord server, particularly concerning Caleb fans and our experiences within the community.

It has become apparent that certain members of your moderation team exhibit clear biases against Caleb fans (also affectionately known as Caleb girlies). Unfortunately, these biases have resulted in unfair treatment, unjustified timeouts, and in some cases, unwarranted permanent bans. This has severely impacted the community's morale and our ability to freely and safely participate in server activities.

To outline some specific concerns:

Historical Bias:

- Before Caleb's official release as a love interest, moderators openly mocked and discouraged discussions about him, dismissing Caleb as merely an NPC. Community members who anticipated his release were banned without reasonable cause.

Recent Bias and Unfair Treatment:

- Leading up to Caleb's Myth release event, numerous Caleb fans have again been targeted with unjust timeouts. Moderators used the server's search function specifically to find minor infractions to justify extending these punishments.

- Comparatively, similar infractions by fans of other love interests often receive no punishment or merely warnings.

Lack of Safe Space and Hostility:

- Caleb's dedicated Discord channel has experienced continuous disruptions from fans of other characters without adequate moderation intervention. However, Caleb fans face immediate repercussions when defending themselves.

- Moderators have shown tolerance or even indirect encouragement toward negative comments and hostility against Caleb fans.

Impact on Community and Player Experience:

- Due to consistent negative experiences, many Caleb fans, new and old, have felt unwelcome and driven out of the official server.

- This has led Caleb fans to create external Discord servers to enjoy discussions peacefully, indicating a clear failure of the official moderation system to provide a supportive and welcoming environment.

We kindly ask for your immediate attention to these issues. Transparent, fair, and unbiased moderation is crucial for maintaining a healthy and vibrant community. We deeply appreciate the game, its lore, and its characters, including Caleb, and we seek nothing more than equitable treatment and a safe environment for all players.

Thank you very much for considering our concerns. We look forward to your prompt response and a resolution that allows all members of your community to engage positively with the game we all love.

Sincerely, A Dedicated and Concerned Fan

Mods And Deepbias - Open Letter About The Toxicity In The Official Discord

Version 2:

Subject: Concerns Regarding Bias and Moderation Issues in the Official Love and Deepspace Discord Server

Dear Love and Deepspace Customer Service Team,

I am reaching out to you to address ongoing concerns regarding the moderation practices in the official Love and Deepspace Discord server, particularly related to the handling of discussions surrounding the character Caleb and his fan community.

Since November, moderation has repeatedly displayed biases against Caleb fans. Initially, moderators outright banned and silenced Caleb fans who simply anticipated or discussed his release as a Love Interest. Caleb fans were denied a dedicated space for discussion, and even mentioning him in general channels or other character channels resulted in unjust bans and timeouts. Despite clear evidence hinting at Calebโ€™s eventual release as a Love Interest, moderators dismissed these discussions, at times mockingly claiming Caleb was merely an NPC or villain.

These actions have significantly affected the community's morale and created a hostile environment for Caleb supporters. Recently, just before Caleb's highly anticipated limited Myth event, moderators again unfairly targeted active Caleb fans, including myself. Moderators specifically searched through past messages to justify extended and unreasonable timeouts, misinterpreting messages as misinformation or moderation criticism, even when statements were factual or expressed genuine confusion over moderation practices.

Meanwhile, moderators have permitted suggestive and contentious content in other character channels, ignored hostility toward Caleb fans, and allowed misinformation and harassment aimed at Caleb supporters to continue unchecked. This clear inconsistency in rule enforcement reveals a troubling bias that damages community trust and cohesion.

Furthermore, this behavior disrespects the hard work, passion, and dedication of the game's developers, writers, voice actors, and artists, who have invested countless hours into creating Calebโ€™s character, narrative, and content. The moderatorsโ€™ biased practices undermine the inclusive environment that the Love and Deepspace team strives to foster. As a result, dedicated fans are being driven away from the official community, harming both player retention and the gameโ€™s reputation.

I urge you to thoroughly review moderation practices and ensure fairness, transparency, and consistency for all fans, regardless of their preferred characters. Addressing this issue promptly will demonstrate your commitment to maintaining a welcoming and supportive community for all players and honoring the extensive effort put forth by your development and creative teams.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. I look forward to seeing improvements and your response.

Sincerely, A Dedicated and Concerned Fan

3 days ago
shinsukeee - แดฌแต–สฐโฑแต‰

hey! i made a uquiz! what uncommon fanfic trope/tag are you?

2 years ago

deep respect for you, my dude. That's a real friend right there.

My friend got pregnant at 17. Deeply religious family (she would be kivked out if they found out), one night stand, she just could NOT have the baby. Thing is we live in a country where abortion is illegal. Our only option was to illegally buy some pills online and hope they worked and we didnt go to jail

But these are hecking expensive and we needed to rush

So i set up a twitter/fb/insta/furaffinity/etc account and advertised my furry art EVERYWHERE. Im not that good but i said id draw basically anything no matter how weird (not cub art or anything illegal). I got a lot of weird coms (vore, scat, inflation and some i dont even understand) and for two weeks i did nothing but draw weird shit all day. My hand hurt so bad, but i got the money.

We spent a week afraid we'd been scammed and afraid we'd get caught, then a weekend afraid my friend might die once we did the procedure in my house. But it worked

I never told her how i got the money and i never will. Id rather die than tell her i funded her illegal abortion by drawing the wolf from robin hood swallowing robin through his belly button. Im pretty sure she thinks i was a prostitute for those two weeks and id rather her think that

To this day i gift her condoms on her bd as a joke bc im never doing that again

.

2 years ago

bonus if somehow, y/n ends up making a character in their book based on [genshin character] and sighs in realization or like, makes a book about their whole experience in teyvat but makes it seem like a fairytale kind

New Genshin Concept again

An author (Y/N) who doesn't know Genshin exists, but suddenly is in Genshin Self Aware/Cult AU. She doesn't know who everyone is and everyone thinks she has amnesia. So like, now (Y/N) is now having everyone jumping on her making attempts for her to remember and (Y/N) is making attempts to hide from everybody to escape Genshin so she can continue making novels in peace.

New Genshin Concept Again
New Genshin Concept Again
3 months ago

"can we normalize-" NO!!!!!! we do not need to expand whats considered normal!!! we need to teach people to stop reacting judgmentally when encountering something new and weird!!!! things dont need to be normal to be respected!!!!!!!!!!

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shinsukeee - แดฌแต–สฐโฑแต‰
แดฌแต–สฐโฑแต‰

is the moon still in love with the sun?

71 posts

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