Latest Posts by 50-percent-wizards - Page 2
Spring in Japan | Kazuhiro Yashima
autistic folks when their routine gets disrupted, and they don't get alone time when they're supposed to get alone time
JonMartin Siren AU
Where Jon is cursed to become a sea monster and fears that his monstrosity might frighten off the lovely sailor he falls in love with.
RABBITS! RABBITS! RABBITS!
Reblog this on the first of the month for good luck all month long!
would you still love me if i was rendered in increasingly abstract ways to imply my progressing sense of disconnection from humanity
The prince of the far, far away land wanted to marry the princess, but she rejected him. As a punishment the princess was sent to a lair of a dragon so that it would kill her. But as soon as the dragon and the princess saw each other they fell madly in love and lived happily ever after. The end!
Pixel Art by SUN PIXELS
Super Mario Bracket: BOWSER JR. vs THE LETTER "p"
Bowser Jr.
SEED: 40 (15 nominations)
SPECIES: Koopa
DEBUT: Super Mario Sunshine
BIO: the winner of the Koopaling Bracket
[Super Mario Wiki article]
the letter "p"
SEED: 89 (7 nominations)
SPECIES: Latin letter, lowercase
DEBUT: The Thousand-Year Door
BIO: I mean, it's definitely "a character"!
[Super Mario Wiki article]
[link to all polls]
astonishing how good it can feel to get some chores done sometimes. you’ll be sitting there like damn i am some type of horrid little smeagol like creature who should be crushed to death. but then you do some laundry and you’re like wrow. im actually gods most fuckable soldier.
Does tumblr have an option to save things? I don’t know how to save posts. Would be nice if that feature existed!
I may be stupid
The Maiden of The Barren Rime
Winter Wind blows through the valley, pushes us into our homes.
Pleading she knocks at our windows, scorned she continues to roam.
Chapter 1: The Brambled Beauty
Mina quieted at the sound of unfamiliar voices on the wind.
“Are you sure this is the right cabin?” It was a feminine voice, on the younger side, with a slight Tinian accent, most likely from the North Coast judging from the way they dragged the “er” in “sure.”
“Of course this is the right cabin! It’s the only cabin in this damned forest!” A masculine voice spat back. Staunchly Lanholdian, Mina could almost feel the thick tension in their tongue behind her own teeth. The gravel of age and annoyance ground up from the back of their throat.
Mina picked up her pace, leaping up into the treetops, crossing miles in minutes towards the voices with no more sound than the rustle of wind through pine needles.
She stilled. The branch beneath her feet barely creaked.
They were outside her cabin. A young woman with thick glasses and even thicker curly hair checked the compass in her hand as the short, sturdy man beside her impatiently tapped his foot and picked at the split ends of his long, braided beard.
Mina placed a hand on the hilt of her sword as she watched them through the canopy. The man’s leather armor bore a crest depicting a mountain top and three diamonds, with glinting, well-polished stripes on his pauldron pronouncing his rank. Seven; a general of lauded stature. Why he traveled with the young woman was unclear.
She was clearly not a noble. The slight roll forward of her shoulders, the patterned bandanna holding her hair out of her eyes too weathered or wrinkled for even a disguised royal to wear, and a decent soldier would never keep their guard down as much as hers was in an unfamiliar place. Perhaps she had hired the knight as security on her journey.
A journey Mina would take no part in.
She shifted to sit easily and silently, making sure not to catch the beaver skins hanging from her pack beneath her. A few more minutes and they would leave, then she could prep the skins and start to smoke the meat in her satchel as planned.
“Well,” the woman stuffed her compass into her jacket pocket. “At least it’s a nice day out to wait. Sun’s still warm enough to cut the edge off the autumn chill.”
Annoyingly, she made her way to the porch of Mina’s cabin and took a seat on its rough wooden steps. Mina ground her teeth slightly. Maybe a splinter or two would poke her through her patchwork skirt and urge her away.
The man huffed and kicked at a tuft of crabgrass. “You think this chill has an edge? Just wait until you’re on the Peaks.” The tuft came loose, sending dirt and now homeless pill bugs scattering. “If we ever get to the fucking Peaks.”
Dammit, Mina thought. They were here for an expedition.
“Ya know, we could always go with another alpinist,” the woman offered. “Beto Lamar’s homestead is about a day’s ride west from here.”
“A day’s ride but three weeks past our deadline,” the man said. “This girl can bring us back to Lanholde in under a month.” He stomped over and stood on the steps, too proud to sit, but not proud enough to not lean on the railing for support. “She will get us there in a month.”
“Even if she’s already off on an expedition?”
“She’s not,” the man gestured over his shoulder. “The windows are open. And this cabin is too well maintained for its owner to just head off for two months with the windows left open.”
Mina thudded her head against the tree trunk. Of course. An observant and stubborn knight.
She inhaled deeply, held it, then exhaled, taking her frustration down a little, unclenching her jaw just a touch. She'd piss them off enough that they’d rather stand Lamar’s extra three weeks in the cold than put up with her, and if that didn’t work, ask for a ridiculous amount of gold to scare them off.
Three more weeks in the cold. Three more weeks to die. The unwilling thought made her teeth ache.
She climbed down from the pine she had perched in and moved soundlessly towards the drying rack staked beside her cabin. She removed one of the rungs filled with beaver skins from her pack. A loud and forceful snap echoed through the woods as she dropped it into place.
The trespassing pair jumped. The knight drew his sword as the woman bladed her feet into a wide stance, arms lifted, ready to perform some sort of cast.
So they were a magic wielder and a knight.
“Get off the porch,” Mina stated bluntly as she hung another rack.
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the knight’s jaw fall agape while the woman’s disposition relaxed. She straightened up out of her fighting stance, and Mina caught the faint sound of a cork squeaking back into a bottle on the wind.
“My apologies, miss. We’re looking for the alpinist that lives here,” she said. “Would that be you?”
“No,” Mina lied. “I’m a hunter. The alpinist lives to the west.”
The woman arched an eyebrow and looked to the knight. He flared his nostrils, puffed out his chest, and stomped over towards her.
“I am Sir Murmir Gargic, general-rank knight of the Lanholde Royal Army, proud servant to King Fritz Reinhardt.”
“Never heard of him,” she lied again.
The knight sputtered, whatever bullshit speech he had prepared dying on his tongue. “You never—”
“Sir Gargic,” the woman whispered behind him, calling his attention and allowing him a moment to regain his composure.
Annoying.
“Well, he’s heard of you, and has specifically recommended that we seek you out to lead us up the Fallow Peaks. We’re in a bit of a time crunch, so if you don’t mind talking terms so we can start the expedition today—”
“If that’s the case, then I guess your king expects you both to die,” Mina droned, mono-toned and matter-of-factly. “I’m a hunter, not an alpinist.”
The knight’s breathing shallowed as her jab at his ruler crawled under his skin. He inhaled deeply, a tirade building, when the woman placed a hand on his shoulder.
“How much would it cost for you to be an alpinist?” she asked.
Mina drifted her dull gaze over towards the woman, finding her with a smirk on her lips and a knowing glint in her eye.
“Seven thousand gilt one way,” she answered. “The real alpinist to the west charges half that.”
“I’m sure.” The woman shrugged. “But the alpinist we’re looking for fits your description exactly. Female alpinist. Rough around the edges. Lives alone in a cabin deep in the Sandere Woods, five hundred paces off of the last bend in Woodgullet Road, heading northeast.” She rattled off the details as if she were reading them off a sheet of paper.
Mina blinked slowly, then repeated. “Seven thousand gilt one way.”
“Deal.”
Gods fucking dammit. An unfortunately familiar tug pulled at her spine.
Sir Gargic fished out a scroll from one of the pouches on his belt, while the woman brandished a quill and a bottle of ink. He scrawled something down on it, then turned the parchment in her direction: a contract of duty.
His thick, stubby finger pointed at the 7,000g written next to the terms of payment. “Seven-thousand gilt to be delivered direct from the Capitol’s treasury upon our safe arrival.” His finger traveled down the page to a long signature line. “All you need to do is sign here.”
She did, reluctantly. Her arm dragged by that damned tug.
“Mina,” the woman read her name aloud, standing on the tips of her toes to watch as she wrote it. “I’m Wera Alrust.”
Mina snapped the quill once she finished, dropped it to the ground, and headed into her cabin.
“Where are you going?” Sir Gargic barked behind her. “You’re under contract to—”
“Packing,” Mina answered. “Can’t climb a ten-thousand-foot cliff face with just a bow, a sword, and a can-do attitude.” She paused in the doorway. “Just two going up?”
“Five,” Wera answered. “Six if you count yourself.”
“I don’t.”
Last-minute trips up the Fallow Peaks were nothing new to Mina, as much as she loathed them. They were always inconvenient and pressing, which meant the travelers were stressed and distracted — which meant the death count was usually higher than the average one or two losses. Expeditions such as this were few and far between, at least. Most travelers knew to prepare well in advance for the perilous journey, contracting her months ahead of time instead of minutes.
She closed all the windows and locked the shutters, made sure her books and sheet music were lifted off the ground in case the fall rains caused the lake to flood, and tucked the more expensive of her instruments away as she filled the pack she kept by the door.
“Flint, whytewing leathers, tarp, rations, climbing axes…” she muttered to herself as she rifled through it — taking stock to make sure she had everything she needed — then picked up a fiddle and bow leaning against a hard wooden chair. She loosened up the strings a bit and unstrung the bow to keep the horse hairs from snapping, then shoved it in with the rest of her gear.
“Where are the other three?” she asked as she stepped back outside and locked the door.
“Back on the road, waiting with the wagon,” Wera replied.
“You can’t take a wagon up a mountain.”
“We don’t plan to.” She was, frustratingly, smiling at Mina when she turned around. “Ready to go?”
“Lead the way.”
Sir Gargic headed off, impatience and frustration bringing out the ill-manner child in him. With such thin skin, it wouldn’t be long before he broke their contract, or he died. Rabbet’s Pass most likely, which would be convenient. She could leave his corpse in the caves there, and they wouldn’t have too far of a walk back to Sandere afterwards.
After only a few wrong turns through the thick wood, the seldom-used road emerged. A simple covered wagon pulled off to the side let the four horses that drove it graze lazily, while two more members of their party hung around it: an old woman with her hair up in a tight bun, sitting on the ground making daisy chains out of dandelions, and a young man with a sharp haircut and a well-coiffed mustache scrawling in a notebook as he sat in the driver’s seat.
Sir Gargic’s spine straightened and chest puffed out as he put on a bit of bravado. “We’ve returned!” he cried, waving grandly.
The old woman and mustached man looked up from their work. The woman abandoned her dandelions and stood to meet them, while the young man looked them over and flipped to another page in his book; quill taking off in a fury.
“Ah! Are you the young lady who will be guiding us?” The old woman smiled sweetly. “My name’s Tanir and the boy on the cart is Enoch.” She turned over her shoulder and hollered, “Wave hello, Enoch!”
Enoch raised his hand partially, too engrossed in whatever he was writing to look away.
“Mina.” Mina met Tanir’s gaze, and the old woman’s brow furrowed. She was looking for the appropriate response, a sign of expression to source Mina’s first impression of her. Mina watched her bottom lip shift subtly, a minuscule pucker as her teeth bit behind it uneased to find nothing.
Annoy the knight. Unnerve the old woman. Now she just had to find the others’ weaknesses.
“You’ll have to leave the wagon and loose the horses an hour or so up the road. They’ll slow us down and will be hunted by the beasts of the Harrow.”
“Oh, uh—” Tanir swallowed. “That sounds like something you should discuss with Master Windenhofer. I’ll go get him for you.” She flashed another smile, this one fueled by nerves, and hurried off into the back of the wagon.
Enoch snapped his notebook shut and leaned over the side of the driver’s seat. He rested his chin on his hand dramatically, abandoning the fierce focus he held when writing to gaze at Mina with puppy dog eyes. “Did you know you are extremely beautiful for an alpinist?”
Sir Gargic sputtered with embarrassment. Wera shot Enoch a disgusted look.
Mina stared at him blankly.
“I know,” she said after a moment.
Enoch choked on his spit at her response. Wera burst out into a fit of laughter, drawing Mina’s attention.
Laughter wasn’t a response she was used to receiving.
“Don’t forget to write that one down,” Wera wheezed through her giggles. “‘My attempts at flirtation failed tremendously as usual.’ A good archivist doesn’t leave out any details!”
“Enough of that, Enoch!” Sir Gargic snipped, hitting him on the arm. “She comes highly recommended by The Crown of Lanholde, and you will address her with the respect that such a recommendation warrants!”
“S-sorry, M-mina,” Enoch stammered, still caught off guard by her curtness as he leaned back away from her, rubbing his injured arm.
“I hear we have a new face joining our motley crew!” a warm, deep voice cheered from inside the wagon. The cart bounced as a tall, lean man, with a wide smile and a thick shag haircut, stepped out of it, Tanir following behind.
“Hello, I am Sebastian Windenhofer. It is wonderful to meet you!” the man extended his hand out in greeting.
A soft breeze blew between them as Mina considered his outstretched hand. His fingers were long, as to be expected of someone of his height, and his palms were oddly covered with an even layer of callous.
She did not shake it.
“Mina,” she said to the hand, in the same bland manner that she had introduced herself to everyone else.
Sebastian seemed unbothered by his spurned handshake, and instead clasped his hands together and nodded his head softly, “Mina.” There was a slight hum to the ‘M’ as he said it. “Tanir mentioned that you wished to speak to me about something regarding the horses?”
Mina’s distant stare met his attentive gaze. Sebastian didn’t flinch. “You’ll have to leave the wagon and loose the horses an hour or so up the road.”
“Why’s that?” he asked.
“The woods are too thick for a wagon to fit through, and the mountains are too steep,” she answered. “The Harrowed Woods that border Sandere and the Peaks are filled with hungry monsters who will be lured by the thought of a four-course horse meal, too.”
“I see.” Sebastian brought his hand up and tapped his fingertips lightly against his lips as he thought. “Would it be better for the horses if we left the wagon and let them loose now as opposed to when we get closer?”
Mina paused, and tilted her head to the side, caught off guard by his question.
“Have I spoken out of turn?” his voice wavered.
“No, it’s just that I’ve never had someone ask to let the horses out early,” she replied, much more candidly than she intended. She straightened her head, collecting herself. “There’d be less chance of them being attacked. Not many monsters here in these woods.”
“That settles it, then.” Sebastian addressed his crew, “Gather your belongings, we will be continuing on foot from here. Wera and Sir Gargic, unhitch the horses and send them back down the road, please.”
“Ugh, my penmanship gets so poor when we’re walking,” Enoch groaned as he slid down from the driver’s seat.
“Guess you’ll have to save your sonnets for when we’re in Lanholde,” Wera remarked as she started unbuckling one of the horse’s bridles. “We’ve got nothing but walking ahead of us now.”
Sebastian returned his attention to Mina. “It should only take us a few minutes to get packed up. Would you like a cup of tea while you wait?” He reached inside his overcoat and pulled out a tea kettle and mug. Twirling the mug around his finger by its handle, he juggled the kettle with one hand and caught it by its base. Steam rose from its spout.
Not just a magic user. He was a wizard, capable enough to demonstrate his talents so casually.
Or cocky enough to make a big show over the few skills he did have.
“No,” Mina replied, tapping the canteen attached to her belt. “I have a canteen.”
She could have just left it at ‘no’.
“Of course.” He threw the tea set into the air as if he were throwing away a piece of paper over his shoulder and with a snap of his fingers they vanished.
Definitely a show-off.
“I have a few things to pack myself if you’ll excuse me,” he continued, smiling again, still wide as it shifted to a slightly different shape, then headed back into the covered wagon.
Mina watched him walk away.
If he wasn’t just a show-off, then maybe they’d make it a mile past Rabbet’s Pass.
🜁
“So, Mina, would you care to tell us a little about yourself?” Sebastian asked as they walked up the rest of the road. Considering how chatty they were while getting their shit together, Mina didn’t have any hope of a quiet walk to the Harrow’s beginning. “I’m sure there’s much more to you than living in these woods and leading expeditions through the Fallow Peaks.”
“That’s all there is to know,” she replied.
Sebastian chuckled, a rumble out from his chest that buzzed in Mina’s ears. “I’m sure that’s not true. What about ‘how you got started leading expeditions’? Doesn’t seem like a job someone just falls into.”
“It’s not.”
“Then how’d it happen for you?”
“Someone had to do it. So I did it.”
“And what did that entail?”
“Doing it.”
“Sebastian,” Tanir interjected, “perhaps it’d be best if we shared a little bit about ourselves first.” She smiled at Mina. Mina kept her gaze forward, praying that the treeline would take mercy on her and move closer on its own. “I’m the company medic, been working with Sebastian since he had a particularly rough encounter collecting basilisk venom a few summers back. Poor thing hobbled to my home half turned to stone, and insisted I travel with him on his adventures ever since.”
“You faced off against a basilisk?” Enoch piped up from the back of the pack. “When we rest for the evening, you’ll have to sit down with me and give me the full story. You too, Tanir. It should definitely be added to my records.”
“Are you volunteering to go next then, Enoch?” Sebastian asked.
“I— uh—” Enoch jogged up in front of them and turned to walk backwards as he spoke, “Well I met—”
“Don’t walk like that,” Mina interrupted. “If you fall and break something, we’ll have to leave you behind, or I’ll have to kill you.”
His steps slowed as his eyes widened. “Wh-what?”
“It’s quicker than the duskwolves tearing into your flesh and snapping your neck.” It was brutal imagery, but not entirely false.
“She’s kidding, Enoch,” Sebastian said.
Enoch’s voice hollowed. “H-how can you tell?”
“Because if you did break something, Tanir would gladly patch you up,” he reasoned.
“Though I’d give you a scolding while I did it for not listening to the expert,” Tanir added, drawing out the title expert to appease Mina’s non-existent good side. “So turn around and continue your story.”
“Right.” Enoch turned around quickly at her instruction, gathered his composure with a shudder of his shoulders, and turned his head slightly to the side to speak, “I met Sebastian on a truly fate-defining day. Wandering the Coast of Carvons, I was lost, looking for inspiration to strike.”
Wera groaned.
“And it did! As I sat on the beach, begging the great and powerful ocean to lend me some of its majesty, a geyser of sand erupted from underneath of me, sending me skyrocketing through the air. Whilst I fell from the heavens, I looked down at the ground below me. What once was a beach was now a golden temple! And upon the roof of this temple stood the great Sebastian Windenhofer, my new muse! Since that day, I have traveled alongside him, cataloging his adventures to tell the world of his greatness.”
“You know that the rest of us were on top of that temple too, right?” Wera chided before addressing Mina. “Please take his tales with a grain of salt. For an archivist, he seems to have a selective memory. I’m the cartographer. Sebastian was the first person to hire me out of school, and I’ve been traveling with him ever since.”
She looked back at Enoch and snickered, “See? Short, sweet, and to the point. Your turn, Sir Gargic.”
“Indeed.” Somehow, the knight puffed his swollen chest even bigger. “Unlike the rest of my compatriots, I am not under the employ of Master Windenhofer, but rather a liaison of The Crown of Lanholde. They’ve tasked the two of us with uncovering and collecting a few precious artifacts that The Crown has a vested interest in. We are on the last leg of this journey now.”
Everyone’s attention landed on Mina, heavy with expectation, a burdensome weight. They had offered their stories without her agreement. There was no need for her to respond. Responding would only embolden them to keep prying.
Sebastian broke the thick silence and turned to Tanir, “Did you really have to tell the basilisk story, Tani?”
“It’s one of my first and favorite memories of you,” she replied.
“You should’ve waited for winter,” Mina commented, against her better judgment. “Basilisks get sluggish and less alert in the cold. You can sneak up behind them and slice off their heads in one strike if your blade is sharp enough. Just make sure to cut about a foot below their jaw so that you don’t pierce the venom gland.”
Her unexpected advice, matter-of-fact and brutal, garnered shocked and confused expressions from everyone but the wizard. Maybe it was the right call, then. The more alien she seemed, the better off they all would be.
“Aha! You’re a hunter too!” Sebastian — frustratingly — cheered. “I knew there was more to you!”
If Mina could meaningfully scowl, she would have. The sight of his smile stabbed at the corner of her eye as she kept her gaze forward. Wizards were known to be fascinated by curiously temperamental creatures, of course it would be harder to break him.
“Now, do you have any other comments, questions, concerns for our happy little troop? Perhaps some tips on how to deal with those duskwolves you—”
“You’re all loud,” she stated. “It’ll draw things to us, and cause trouble on the Peaks.”
“Why’s that?” Tanir asked.
“Avalanches.”
“Wait,” Enoch said. “There’s going to be snow on these mountains?”
“What did you think we bought all those cold weather clothes for?” Wera scoffed.
“Lanholde has a cooler climate. I just thought winter wear was the fashion there.”
Wera sent a pleading look Sebastian’s way. “Did you really have to hire him, ‘Bastian? We could have just left him stranded on that beach.”
“True,” Sebastian shrugged, “but we need entertainment on this journey, and watching the two of you bicker could rival some of the best traveling shows.”
As those around Mina talked, and laughed, and teased each other, the surrounding trees grew in number. Their trunks twisted, more gnarled and oddly shaped, their canopy so thick it shifted the shade of the lower leaves lighter from the lack of sunlight. The group came to a halt as the road ended at a wall of forest: the start of the Harrowed Wood.
“Right. Which of you can fight?” Mina asked as she headed to the front of the pack.
All of them raised their hands.
Wera and Sir Gargic she understood but the others… “This isn’t the time for jokes.”
“We wouldn’t have gotten this far if we couldn’t hold our own, lass,” Sir Gargic said. “Trust me, I was wary myself when I first met them, but even Enoch is worthwhile in a scrap.”
“Hey!” Enoch whined.
“Cartographer, you’re with me at the front,” she instructed before they wasted more time chatting. “Medic and Archivist in the center. Wizard and Knight in the back. Listen more than you talk. Keep an eye out for anything moving that shouldn’t be. If you see something, say something. And if something does attack us, no matter what happens, stay behind me.”
Mina didn’t wait for them to finish pairing off before weaving her way through the trees. She didn’t even acknowledge Wera as she hustled to fall in place beside her.
“So,” Wera drawled after a few minutes of silence between them, “why’d you pick me for the front?”
“You’re a mapmaker,” Mina replied. She didn’t look at Wera as she spoke, her stare focused on surveying the forest in front of them. “If you make a map of the Harrow and the Peaks and take down the trail I use, I may never have to lead people through here again.”
If she had to suffer through another expedition, at least she could make this one of use.
“You seem a little young to retire,” Wera remarked. “And you need income to upkeep that cabin of yours, right? Though with seven thousand gilt an expedition, I’m surprised you haven’t gotten yourself something a little sturdier to live in.”
She could feel the pressure of Wera studying her face, looking for something she’d never find.
“There are other ways to make money that don’t involve being bothered.” She changed the subject, “People think that there are just wolves, bears, various small-time magical beasts here. The Harrow is untouched. Nature and magic are uncontrolled and unforgiving.”
“Probably because of the runoff from the Peaks or some past geological event. I’ll make a note to have Enoch look into it.” Wera took out a small notepad and jotted something down. “If that’s the case then I’d bet there are many ways to cross over into parts of Elphyne here too, probably a bunch of fae circles, areas where the veil is thin. Would you be able to point them out when we pass them?”
“Just write down the trail taken and there’s no need to worry about any of that.”
She heard Wera’s pen skip on the page and a heavy exhale out of her nose.
There it was. She hated being talked down to.
Wera abandoned the topic and turned to basic questions about the flora and landmarks, easy enough that Mina could answer with little thought as she tuned one ear to the forest as best she could through the whispers of those walking a little too far behind her.
“Would you look at that,” Sir Gargic remarked, voice slightly muffled and strained. He talked out of the corner of his mouth in a bad attempt to be quiet. “She’s actually talking to Wera.”
“People do often talk to each other,” Sebastian said coolly, not feeding the knight’s judgment.
“Yes, but she’s so—”
“Are we talking about the Brambled Beauty?” Enoch whispered.
“The what?” Sebastian deadpanned.
“You don’t like it, sir? I’m trying to figure out the perfect way to describe such a terrifying and alluring creature.”
“Alluring?” Sir Gargic guffawed, “She’s so cold!”
“Yes! She’s cold!” Tanir added, voice peaking with a burst of realization.
Mina ground her teeth to keep from chewing them out. It was better that they didn’t know how well she could hear, and she had bore much harsher digs than their rude observations anyways.
“Just because she’s different than us doesn’t make her less of a person,” Sebastian chided. “And Tanir it’s unlike you to make assumptions about someone you’ve just met.”
“Oh no, I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was just—”
A low gurgle deep within the ground, quiet and out of place in the harmony of forest sounds, environmental interrogation, and gossiping whispers, stilled Mina’s stride. She barred her arm across Wera’s chest, stopping the preoccupied cartographer, and held her other hand up to halt those behind them.
Their footfalls and chitchat ceased abruptly. Mina turned her head to the side, putting a finger to her lips to signal them to stay silent and wait.
She drew forth the sword that rested on her hip and crept forward, listening, eyes fixated on the forest floor. The gurgle reached her ears once more, louder and more guttural; hungry. Mina stopped, bladed her feet, and whistled a line of bird song.
“A meadowlark?” Sebastian whispered.
For a fleeting moment, she noted how keen his ear was, then a massive maw erupted out of the earth, lunging at her. Wind at her heels, Mina leaped at it, rocketing towards the toothy mouth at incredible speed, and drove her blade down through its top lip. The beast let out a terrible, gargling roar, shaking off the actual dirt and plants from its mimicking hide to reveal an ornery terramawg.
With the momentum of her jump and the leverage of her impaled sword, Mina vaulted over the bulbous amphibian’s earthen hide. She snapped her hips around, pivoting midair to face the beast’s back, and drew forth her bow in the same fluid motion.
The air stilled as Mina ran her fingers from the grip of her bow to its string. The water in the air collected, crystallized under the brush of her fingertips, forming an arrow of pure ice. She aimed for the creature’s third, slitted eye, a weak point that rested on the nape of its neck, and fired. A roaring gust of wind shook the trees, following in her arrow’s wake as it soared through the air, embedding itself deep into the terramawg’s brain.
Mina kept her focus on the beast as she descended, landing on a nearby tree bough without a glance back. The terramawg seized, the frost from her arrow glaciating its mind, and collapsed into a blubbery heap, returning to the mass of earth and withering foliage it disguised itself as.
Mina secured her bow on her back and slid down the tree’s trunk.
“Keep moving,” she said to the group as she retrieved her sword from the terramawg’s corpse.
It was as if they too had been immobilized by her ice. Sir Gargic’s hand rested on the hilt of his broadsword. Tanir had pulled out a handaxe from somewhere. Three thin daggers were laced between Enoch’s fingers like claws. A swirl of inky liquid hovered over Wera’s palm, while her other hand rested on her chest. Sebastian’s hands were coated in flame.
All of their mouths hung agape.
A dull pang pushed against Mina’s chest at the sight.
“Great Gods. Save some for the rest of us next time, will ya?” Sir Gargic shuddered.
“It was quicker if I handled it,” she stated. “Now come on. There’s more ground to cover before nightfall.” Mina turned on her heels and walked away, stepping across the terramawg’s body and taking care to drive her heels in a little harder as she did so.
“Hey, wait up!” Wera ran after her, manipulating the ink back in its vial and pulling out her notebook once again.“How were you able to tell where it was?”
Tanir pulled a stupefied Enoch along, “Come on. You should be jumping with joy. Action like that is sure to make your book even more exciting.”
“Well,” Sir Gargic remarked to Sebastian with a heavy exhale, “I guess we know why she’s so cold now.”
Sebastian hummed in acknowledgment, nothing more. Nothing until moments later, when under his breath a murmured thought slipped out.
“The wind even changed direction.”
The reverence in his tone, unheard by everyone else, bristled against the back of Mina’s neck.
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of The Maiden of the Barren Rime! Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read it.
If you're interested in reading more, MBR releases on May 1st and is available for pre-order now! You can order it from Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, Amazon, and most independent bookstores!
I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.
i was inspired by this post to mash two of my favorite things together so here is my two cents on what these two would be as D&D characters. i have very detailed thoughts on most of the cast actually but here's jon and martin for now. explanations for class/race under the cut!
jon: tiefling!jon is absolutely inspired. first, he deserves to have horns and a tail, it's just fact. second, of COURSE a tiefling would have feelings about being called a monster, it just fits him very well. thirdly, i also think that melanie would be a tiefling and they definitely have weird beef about jon being like "augh i'm so monstrous" while melanie is like "dude i'm literally right here, also a tiefling. come on, man." as for class, stated above. started as a goolock who thought he was just a weird wizard, but then his patron started taking a bit too much interest, and boom. weird sorcerer. also it amuses me to think about jonah/elias being like "i need to optimize my coffeelock" and trying to minmax him.
martin: human martin is important to me - he is intentionally unassuming, tries to make others underestimate him, etc, and human works well for that. in a world with gods and dragons, he's just Some Guy, and not even a guy with horns or anything. as for class, hear me out, ok. i know that bard!martin is usually the standard and i don't disagree, but i think he fits better as a paladin for 3 reasons: 1. charisma caster for sure, but he's not always volunteering to do the talking like a bard would. 2. for most of the series, he is a very intentional Protector of his people, trying to keep everyone safe as best he can - there's really nothing more paladin-coded than being self-sacrificial ok. definitely has the protection fighting style. 3. i think he deserves to have a big sword and smite people. as stated above, he was originally oath of devotion but switched to oath of the watchers after peter. oath of devotion focuses more on healing and buffing allies, while oath of the watchers is more about preparation and battlefield control, which feels more proactive in a way that i think lines up with post-lonely martin. also, it's on theme.
thanks for reading my ramble! let me know your thoughts. i will probably be making more of these (i may or may not already have dummy character sheets for jon, martin, elias, gertrude, tim, sasha, daisy, basira, melanie and georgie...) but i can't promise anything. cheers.
We should piss on the poor
sygol framed poll (handle with care), 2024 mixed media on tumblr post
This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)
ok so i need to know now - sound off in the notes if Jarlaxle has been banned from your Waterdeep tavern