God, I Fucking Hate Myself

its hard not to when youre so amazing, and mean so much to me. like what if you find out which anya i am and realise you have no intrest in me because of it.. -⛓

you will never know, until you try.

i’m surprised you think i’m so amazing, honestly.

won’t you love me in the most vile way possible? . . . won’t you hurt me in the most saccharine way possible?

i want to be loved in the same amount that i love.

you could be seeing red and all you'll stay being is needy. that's your issue, angel.

– ✘

my issue ? my issue?

why don’t you say these things to my face, jimmy. why are you so intent on making me humiliate myself, more than i already have?

Hi again captain! how’s your day been? I thought about saying something sooner but i figured you’d want a little time between me and your other anons. I’ve been thinking about you just about all night and this morning, can’t seem to get you outta my head :3

-🌀

hello, anon.

it’s been quite busy. i’m working on redoing this account, fixing up my spotify, etc etc. lots of digital organization.

i don’t mind the inbox spam, i almost prefer it! it’s nice to talk to people.

all night and this morning? that’s impressive, anon. i must be taking up a lot of space in your mind, hm?

don't fucking say i'm the one imagining things when you're more over your head than i am. now; think you can be a good boy and tell what's going on in that head?

– ✘

good lord, you’ve sure got a mouth on you, jim.

i don’t feel like publically exposing myself, telling the world exactly what’s wrong. you’re welcome to dm me, but that’s about as far as i’ll go.

regardless, you’re being silly, jim. i’m perfectly fine!

it sucks so much to be so desperate to feel loved, yet so incapable of beliving i deserve it...

the feelings i have arent anything new,, ive just been in denial for a while.. not the trauma feelings, the other ones..

-⛓

i understand.

i hope all goes well, but i feel uncomfortable on your behalf to continue talking about this publicly. this is dangerously information to give to the public.

however. we can continue talking, if you’d like.

breakfast? what’s that?

( this is a joke, i had two cookies and a dr pepper for breakfast. )

well of course you’re taking up space, you’re all i’ve been thinking about lately. but on another note, i do have a question.

do you have a favorite anon? if so who? and could it be me?

-🌀

i don’t pick favorites, dear anon.

and i’m all you’ve been thinking about lately? well, you certainly know how to boost a man’s ego.

If I could be anything I wanted to, I’d be dead.