I Want To Be Loved In The Same Amount That I Love.

we can't both be miserable. give us a smile.

– ✘

who says i’m miserable? that’s just silliness!

:D

filthy, gross, disgusting mutt. posting on tumblr as if they’ll see, praying they’ll tell you what to do? pathetic. and stupid, if you think about it.

you are not a good dog.

pick your poison (version of me):

— fuzzy-brained, whorish puppy

— self-hating, disgusting mutt

— your loyal, possessive dog.

I'm homesick for arms that don't even want to hold me.

「★」 TO THE MOON, AND NEVER BACK . . .

all likes and followings will come from @vulpes-ventricle

⟢ hello and welcome to my “secret” space .ᐟ

you can call me curly! this is my source memory-based, yearning-based account.

i want to say that everything talked about on this blog is SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. nothing i’ve done in the past, and nothing i’ve written about, was outside of my own volition.

if you are uncomfortable with any of the following . . . ⇒ Curly x Jimmy ⇒ “doomed”, or toxic relationships ⇒ co-dependency ⇒ alters/headmates who AREN’T source separated ⇒ NSFW concepts ⇒ obsession-themed romance ⇒ manipulation . . . then you probably won’t enjoy this blog.

⟢ ABOUT ME .ᐟ

Captain Grant Curly 𓏵 ageless (appears 30s) 𓏵 he/him/his 𓏵 cisgender male 𓏵 bisexual

⟢ TAGS .ᐟ

⭐️// depraved mind ⤷ “trigger warning” posts ⭐️// lovesick letters ⤷ romantic / obsession themed ⭐️// cherry rose tinted ⤷ directed posts ⭐️// vulpes_ventricle ⤷ system-based ⭐️// the moon is quiet ⤷ source memories ⭐️// captain approves ⤷ reblogs ⭐️// captain is speaking ⤷ any and all original posts

Im sorry..

-⛓

why are you sorry?

dear anon, you have nothing to be sorry for!

a sorrowful source memory…? [tw]

i distinctly remember the aftermath of a particularly rough argument.

he accused me of never caring, of planning to leave. the jimmy i knew was quick to emotion, in every sense of the word: he was quick to fall in love as he was quick to anger. as this argument progressed, our voices were raised higher and higher. it got to the point where my own throat was sore, just from trying to be heard over his frantic yelling. once the end of the argument came about, we both took off to different rooms of the apartment we were sharing at the time. the apartment wasn’t anything too special, just somewhere we could crash when we weren’t doing shipments. he ended up in his (our shared) bedroom, and i ended up pacing the kitchen. about an hour later, he sulked out from the bedroom, and came to me in the kitchen. about 30 minutes into the wait, i decided that food could be a good peace offering, so i was cooking. nothing too extreme, just eggs, as we didn’t have much else in the apartment. i could hear him creep up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle and laying his forehead on the back of my shoulder.

it was those tender moments that reminded me why i stuck around, why i adore/d him, why i was the sole devotee.

I’ll never be enough for anyone

please, don’t bother reading. it’s just another tw’d vent post. what’s the point.

god, i’m useless.

what kind of captain thinks like this? what kind of captain puts himself first? i’m pathetic.

i just want to be good for someone. i just want to be someone’s first choice, their favorite.

i don’t want to be a leftover. i don’t want to be left behind.

i don’t want to be alone again.

i can’t be alone again.

my thighs hurt so much. my head and fingers and toes are throbbing, probably from blood loss. i can’t keep doing this to myself.

i can’t keep running from my problems.

a scalding hot shower, the warmth pelting my raw skin, sounds appropriate for not being able to handle an entire hour.