We Can't Both Be Miserable. Give Us A Smile.

Thats, reassuring at least. I think I can maybe get away with saying that I am a mw fictive, Im just not the one in your tags.. I am also very mentally ill in general. Do you have any guesses as to who I might be, my lovely captain? I believe you are smart enough to figure it out, youre are amazing like that. -⛓

i’m assuming a fictive of anya?

perhaps you may not be in the tags. that does not mean i don’t care for you. i care deeply for all of my crew.

thank you for the compliments, however. it’s endearing.

a sorrowful source memory…? [tw]

i distinctly remember the aftermath of a particularly rough argument.

he accused me of never caring, of planning to leave. the jimmy i knew was quick to emotion, in every sense of the word: he was quick to fall in love as he was quick to anger. as this argument progressed, our voices were raised higher and higher. it got to the point where my own throat was sore, just from trying to be heard over his frantic yelling. once the end of the argument came about, we both took off to different rooms of the apartment we were sharing at the time. the apartment wasn’t anything too special, just somewhere we could crash when we weren’t doing shipments. he ended up in his (our shared) bedroom, and i ended up pacing the kitchen. about an hour later, he sulked out from the bedroom, and came to me in the kitchen. about 30 minutes into the wait, i decided that food could be a good peace offering, so i was cooking. nothing too extreme, just eggs, as we didn’t have much else in the apartment. i could hear him creep up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle and laying his forehead on the back of my shoulder.

it was those tender moments that reminded me why i stuck around, why i adore/d him, why i was the sole devotee.

i am never going to be good enough.

you’re going to leave like everyone else.

whether it be because you got bored, or because i upset you, or because you realize i’m just not worth it,

you’re going to leave.

and i’m not ready for you to go just yet…

tw. you know the drill.

i’m nothing but a devoted mutt. a dirty, cheap whore. a disgusting, vile being that exists only for the pleasure of others.

i need someone to adore, someone to hurt me and love me, all at the same time. without a special person, a favorite person, i’m useless.

what good is a useless mutt?

i’m awful. no one will ever need me like i need them. i’m too damn needy…i cry when i get degraded too harshly, and when i get praised because i don’t deserve kind words ever, and when you leave me alone too long.

no one will ever need me like i need them.

Hi :3

-🌀

hello!

ive slowly been making less and less of an effort to hide things i think would give me away ^^' i have faith you will figure it out before i have the confidence to reveal myself hehehe -⛓

i have only the inkling of an idea.

Honestly it probably isn’t that far off from one considering how often i’m stalking your account/hj but enough about that. Do you have any favorite people? Can I pretty please be one?

-🌀

i suppose you could.

and awe, you stalk my accounts? i’m flattered.

the want to reveal myself vs. the anxiety that you will be disappointed to find out who i am. fight/ref (i might be getting in my head about it again) -⛓

well, don’t go getting too deep in your head, now.

i won’t be disappointed, i promise.

y'know, oblivious. blissfully unaware. i'll give you some credit, though. i'm in a better mood. surprise, surprise ":^[

– ✘

i try to not confront certain things, especially if it’s negative. i act “blissfully unaware” in that sense.

what’s got you in such a good mood?

i wonder where the “x” anon is…