Its Hard Not To When Youre So Amazing, And Mean So Much To Me. Like What If You Find Out Which Anya I

nsfw.

i’m home all alone today. not a soul besides me in this house. alone, with my selection of toys.

damn shame you aren’t here.

this is a shitpost.

If you saw how much you might be a little more concerned than flattered, but i can’t complain.

And yay! I love it when my obsessions acknowledge me tehe

-🌀

who said i wouldn’t be even more flattered?

i am very much the kind of person to constantly have emojicombos dot com open in a tab it makes it so effortless to build themed things -⛓

oh, absolutely!

i have a note in my notes app full of copy-paste symbols.

please, don’t bother reading. it’s just another tw’d vent post. what’s the point.

god, i’m useless.

what kind of captain thinks like this? what kind of captain puts himself first? i’m pathetic.

i just want to be good for someone. i just want to be someone’s first choice, their favorite.

i don’t want to be a leftover. i don’t want to be left behind.

i don’t want to be alone again.

i can’t be alone again.

my thighs hurt so much. my head and fingers and toes are throbbing, probably from blood loss. i can’t keep doing this to myself.

i can’t keep running from my problems.

Of course i can be patient, I haven’t told you who I am yet have I? I hope your movie is good :3

-🌀

it was a good movie, i enjoyed it!

now, as for patience. thank for being such.

how has your day been, anon?

I'm always fucking up everything, no matter who I talk to and no matter what I do. I'm sick of this.. Can someone please just bash my head already?

good god, how terrible of a person must i be?

how twisted, how sick, how depraved and pathetic must i be to be chasing, begging, dare i say even lusting after someone who’s entire line of communication, who’s entire relationship, stems from something specifically platonic.

he’s right. as unfortunate as it may be, he’s right. i’m nothing, nothing if not a loyal mutt. i bite any other hand that dares feed me, save for my master. the kind of mutt who you pick off the street, so loyal that you could push it down the stairs and it would simply trot back up and sit in front of you, protective and possessive.

it’s almost amusing, this illusion of choice i had. you’ve always been a part of my life. we’ve been friends forever. it would be impossible, or near impossible, to have not taken you up on your offer.

where is the line drawn, between my source memories/relations and yours.

what i wouldn’t give for you to feel the same deep-rooted infatuation, the same fuzzy, cloudy feelings, the same soft, gentle warmth.

maybe that idea is right, only one way to find out/lh -⛓

using my own words against me, now, are we?

for someone who was so scared, your confidence sure did build up fast.

i am genuinely so over myself and how i act and what i do. it makes me sick

Doesn't matter how much effort I put in, right? It's hard to love me.