The Anons You Get Are Really Strange And Questionable I Think

the want to reveal myself vs. the anxiety that you will be disappointed to find out who i am. fight/ref (i might be getting in my head about it again) -⛓

well, don’t go getting too deep in your head, now.

i won’t be disappointed, i promise.

this is turning into a vent blog, and i hate it. i’m supposed to stay happy, and blissful, and the one people can depend on.

i’m a sorry excuse for a captain.

i think i found one of the other anon's blogs and its making me have intense feelings of "no! he is mine you cant have him!" i dont wish any harm on this anon but im inexplicably grr about it in a "no, dont take him from me!" kind of way.. also you changing your @ scared me for a second, i thought you blocked me or got termed or something.. -⛓

well, i certainly didn’t mean to scare you! i thought the old @ was a tongue twister, and a little too repetitive. i also couldn’t remember the order the words went in, so i thought i’d change it.

awe, anon! you sure know how to make a guy feel rather special.

Well, on this blog you only seem to have eyes for fictives of one person, and Im not a version of him.. - ⛓

that doesn’t exactly matter to me, you see.

this blog is primarily centered around my source memories. just because i “only have eyes for one person”, doesn’t mean anything.

i will say, now you’ve got me curious.

Thats, reassuring at least. I think I can maybe get away with saying that I am a mw fictive, Im just not the one in your tags.. I am also very mentally ill in general. Do you have any guesses as to who I might be, my lovely captain? I believe you are smart enough to figure it out, youre are amazing like that. -⛓

i’m assuming a fictive of anya?

perhaps you may not be in the tags. that does not mean i don’t care for you. i care deeply for all of my crew.

thank you for the compliments, however. it’s endearing.

You're too sweet! We usually keep up our "who gives a damn" attitude, but — we are surrounded by some people who think it's odd. You'll never find us talking about how there can't be other fictives, but they're simply not.. us! My own gripes, though, I'm sure you understand!

I hope you have a fantastic day, Captain.

— 🩹

right on the money, sweetheart.

a fictive can be connected to their sources, but two fictives, from two different systems, with the same source connection are NOT the same.

i wish for you to have a wonderful day too, anon! remember that my inbox and my dms are always free :)

a sorrowful source memory…? [tw]

i distinctly remember the aftermath of a particularly rough argument.

he accused me of never caring, of planning to leave. the jimmy i knew was quick to emotion, in every sense of the word: he was quick to fall in love as he was quick to anger. as this argument progressed, our voices were raised higher and higher. it got to the point where my own throat was sore, just from trying to be heard over his frantic yelling. once the end of the argument came about, we both took off to different rooms of the apartment we were sharing at the time. the apartment wasn’t anything too special, just somewhere we could crash when we weren’t doing shipments. he ended up in his (our shared) bedroom, and i ended up pacing the kitchen. about an hour later, he sulked out from the bedroom, and came to me in the kitchen. about 30 minutes into the wait, i decided that food could be a good peace offering, so i was cooking. nothing too extreme, just eggs, as we didn’t have much else in the apartment. i could hear him creep up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle and laying his forehead on the back of my shoulder.

it was those tender moments that reminded me why i stuck around, why i adore/d him, why i was the sole devotee.

nsfw. tw.

please, please, please.

i need you to tell me how to do it. how to get off. i can’t..i can’t do anything unless you’re telling me how.

i need to give up control, let myself be a little braindead, let myself be truly yours, in every sense of the word.

mark me up, from the inside and the outside. i want to be nothing but a myriad of purples and blues and swollen reds, nothing but a walking show of your affection.

i’d let you call me the nastiest, most vile names. i’d let you use me whenever you want…i’m made for your pleasure. i’d let you use me whenever…please do. that’s how i know you enjoy having me around.

i woke up like this, and it’s awful. i feel squirmy and pathetic and disgusting. i feel like someone’s abandoned puppy, wandering the streets, waiting for be picked up by some kind soul…

i’ll be so, so good for you. the perfect dog. just please, keep me around? don’t toss me to the side once you’re done with me…

I love obeying, I love taking orders, tell me how to masturbate, tell me what porn I should watch, i'll do anything

call me your pretty boy.

your angel, your darling, your slut.

i don’t care, as long as i’m yours.