Aaa-bdsm-instruction - A Collection Of Instructive Thoughts

I always try 😏😏😏

Serious post / please read.

If you don’t care for me breaking my “character” (because, yes, this IS a character I front as when I’m submissive, this is not how I act in real life or in interactions outside of here.) then scroll, this isn’t for you. If you DO care then read PLEASE.

This will mostly likely be the only post besides for my intro that will be serious in any way.

(Long post ahead, lots of reading.)

I am aware that with a lifestyle and blog like this there’s always going to be creeps and downsides to it, but it’s getting to a point where I need to address it. Me being a submissive is NOT an invitation to take what you want from me no matter what.

I have repeatedly been receiving threatening, demeaning and disgusting messages for how both how I live/act and simply refusing a request. You will know if you are one of these people because I’ve asked you to check my blog at the exact time this is scheduled to be posted—and also because I am assuming that you are aware that you are a piece of shit.

BDSM is not about demeaning shaming or being disgusting to anyone in it. All of those are in some ways kinks, yes, but there is a very big difference between a kink and genuinely horrific behavior. If someone refuses a request or corrects you in any way on their limits—apologize, don’t bother them again, and think about yourself for a bit. Did you check to see if they have an intro/boundary post? Did you add for them to only do it if comfortable with it? Did you decide to send it regardless of their boundaries because you were desperate? There’s many more questions I could give you to contemplate but my job isn’t to babysit every rotten person on here.

It’s not my preference taking the time to explain what should be very basic concepts to everyone on here but I’m doing it anyway because I’m worried about some of the safety concerns this behavior has raised.

Basics

First of all, in any sort of session/scene or serious interaction between a dom there just has to be a very strong foundation of trust, communication, and respect. These are essential for ensuring safety and well being of all participants. Do not, I repeat, do not engage in a serious (often real life) session with a dom who doesn’t know what they are doing. There are MANY things that could cause long term harm to your or them. Educate yourself well on something before even beginning to practice it.

SSC/further basics

Now, let’s talk about SSC. This stands for Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Safe: all activities should be conducted in a manner that minimizes risk and prioritizes the physical and emotional safety of all parties. This includes (but is not limited to) safe words, aftercare and clear communication of boundaries. Sane: any activity should be carried out with a clear and rational state of mind. It’s extremely important that all participants are fully aware and understand the nature of the activities they are engaging in. Consensual: consent is paramount. All parties must willingly agree to participate without any form of coercion or pressure. Consent must be informed, enthusiastic and can be withdrawn at any time.

Open and honest communication is vital. Discuss boundaries, limits, and expectations beforehand. Regular check-ins during and after scenes help ensure that everyone is comfortable and consenting. A hard boundary is something that will never, under any circumstance happen because it is outside of the limits of one member in some way. A soft limit is something that isn’t someone’s favourite but may be engaged in anyway if they are convinced to do it (and they are consenting and enthusiastic about it. Not that they are being pressured into it), simply change their mind, or maybe their partner is very into it so they decide to give it a try.

As said before, educate yourself about the practices you are interested in. Proper knowledge and preparation can prevent accidents and misunderstandings. This includes understanding the tools and techniques you plan to use and recognizing the signs of physical and emotional distress. There are many ways to accidentally cause harm to someone, especially in more intense/hardcore kinks.

Impacts

Following the ending of a session, the surge of adrenaline and endorphins lead your body to a temporary imbalance. The rush of these chemicals leaving your body, known as sub drop, can be just as impactful. While you might be a very willing participant in these activities (or even find they reduce stress!), your body will react accordingly. Often during a session you will experience prolonged stress, which causes your body to continually produce cortisol, which compresses your immune system.

If you were on the receiving end, it is very likely that you will be sore from receiving punishments or being bound, potentially in uncomfortable positions. Both mentally and emotionally, you may feel exhausted, disconnected from your partner or confused over your enjoyment at the scene. You may even be disoriented and feel disconnected from your body. This is normal. If you’ve experienced anything else following a session, chances are that’s normal too! Other symptoms include: lethargy, inability to regulate body temperature, high or low blood pressure, nausea, pain, headaches, dizziness, weak muscles, lack of focus or even unconsciousness. This can come as quite a shock, especially if you weren’t expecting it. This is where aftercare comes in. If you are a sub it is likely that the guidance and aftercare from your dominant partner will help ease the symptoms and bring you back down safely and comfortably.

Aftercare

Aftercare is absolutely necessary, regardless of the intensity of the session. The popularity of cuddling and food after a session have led quite a few people to describe aftercare as “Cuddles and Carbs” I will admit, the name is very cute but there is a lot more that goes on for aftercare to be done properly. The first step will always be to properly care for any bruises, abrasions or other injuries. This must absolutely be done, regardless of reluctance towards it. This might mean cleaning and bandaging any abrasions, rubbing soothing ointment on an ass that’s been spanked red or applying an ice pack to reduce inflammation of a body part. A first aid kit should be part of your aftercare kit, as well as remain on hand in case of any mishap during the session.

A glass of water or Gatorade will hydrate your body and introduces electrolytes that are needed. A tea could also work. It’s also a good idea to include a snack—it should be light and healthy, such as fruit, to replenish natural sugars that might have depleted during the session. Salty snacks boost potassium, which most likely dropped due to dehydration.

The physical contact you need or provide as part of aftercare varies with your relationship, but I would say the most often practiced is simply cuddling. Cuddling is a great way provide physical contact as well as boost oxytocin. If you and your partner aren’t exactly cuddle buddies a warm blanket or robe is an easy way to substitute.

You’re going to feel lethargic from all the hormone activity in your body, so sleep is a crucial form of aftercare. Some people simply need a nap (sometimes with their partners), while others need a full night’s (or more) of rest to allow their bodies to repair and return to normal.

After all of the boring but necessary steps, you’re free to do as you please. Some couples may enjoy simply talking and laughing, continuing to cuddle while watching a movie, or taking a bath. All of these are great ways to help your emotional and physical state.

Aftercare is, of course, not limited to subs. Aftercare for dominant partners is important—but I’ve spent about forty five minutes writing this, so most likely that will be posted sometime tomorrow.

Thought of something else I should post regarding the safety side of BDSM? DM me!

(I’m only not sure what the most popular tags are so I just tried to add as many as I could so this gets recognition.)

Sometimes a girl wants a man to silence, her racing thoughts and a distractions so that she can practice becoming a good girl.

What does it mean to want to practice becoming a “good girl”?

For some, this is solely about being “good” in the eyes of the person she wants to hear that praise from. This is perfectly valid and very common among submissive girls.

For others, it is an internal sense of moving toward a personal goal that involves accepting and amplifying her feminine and submissive personal identity. For these girls, it is often times a want that their Dominant partner helps them to silence racing thoughts and distractions related to her feminine and submissive identity not being valid. The incorrect idea that it is inappropriate for a woman to enjoy and seek out experiences that activate her sexual energy if that sexual energy is particularly feminine and submissive.

Feminism includes the fact that a woman has the right, the essential and inalienable entitlement, to live her life anyway she wants to in this regard. If she is excited about being acute and girly submissive who derives pleasure from being the object of men’s pleasure… She’s entitled to that authentic personal sexual identity.

So, sometimes a woman pursuing the development of her sexual identity. In this regard will seek out a Dominant to create scenes that help her practice having access to these elements of her sexual identity.

Maybe He tells her that his boot on her mouth is symbolic of making these noises shut up.

Maybe He doesn’t and just lets her imagination activate on it, letting her get turned on by His direct act of seemingly disempowering degradation. Maybe the humiliation of having a man’s boot on her mouth, triggers her drippy cunt into action and then he further humiliates her by pointing out the fact that his boot on her mouth is turning her on.

Figuring out the tone and words that are enough to be guiding into the right direction without them overwhelming the submissive takes good communication before and after playing out a scenario like this. What she needs might even vary from one scenario to another. Sometimes it’s important to try the same energy of a scenario a few times, before there is enough understanding to have clear communication about it afterword.

Navigating the experience, takes trial and error in order to determine what practice really needs to look like so a woman can develop and embody the energy she seeks for herself.

It is always important to understand what you are both consenting to. A Dominant doesn’t want to get it wrong any more than a submissive wants the Dominant to get it wrong.

Trust and communicate.

Don’t be afraid to try something that didn’t work quite right again if you don’t yet understand how to communicate about it.

In that case, DO communicate about the fact that something didn’t quite go right and that the reason for trying it again is to give it a sincere chance at working while being more experienced should it not go well again.

I’m not saying that if something went horribly wrong that you have to do it again. I’m saying that if something didn’t go quite right, not to be afraid of trying it again while communicating in advance that something about it last time didn’t go quite right.

Sometimes practicing something means exploring around the edges where something didn’t go quite right so that you can clearly understand and communicate about why.

An excellent introductory article on 24/7 d/s lifestyles with collaring and considerations for a physically active lifestyle.

Eternity

How to have an active life - while collared 24x7 - Eternity

In the D/s lifestyle, it’s common for people to wear a collar or cuff that locks. As a symbol of devotion and ownership, it’s worn 24x7 and

Often times the first step on the path of developing a BDSM practice is the seemingly simple yet often very complicated step of accepting parts of yourself that you are unsure about because of social conditioning leading you to think less of yourself by accepting them. There’s nothing wrong with you for wanting to allow someone else to control certain parts of your life. There are healthy ways to do that and there are unhealthy ways to do that. An appropriate and mindful BDSM practice is about developing the healthy ways while learning about the unhealthy ways that might rise up as obstructions to your success. 

🌀🌀🌀you must obey

[any reason for a limit is valid]

Some women like it. That’s their right to choose a life that aligns with their submissive sexual identity.

The “all women are below men” nonsense we see so much of is written by naive simpletons for the most part. The few who aren’t simpletons are grifters.

“Yes, Master”

“Yes, Master” 

Two small words.  One giant effect.  

Relinquishing control,  feeling the release, the rush, the relief, as each care,  each choice, each burden melts away.

Calm, serene, euphoric. A lifetime of ingrained independence,  gone.  No drama, no rebellion, no complications,  no regrets.

Just submission, clean, clear, pure, perfect.  As it was meant to be. As He demands.  As I offer.

“Yes, Master”

And I obey.

© reflectedtruthsblog 2017