I Always Try 😏😏😏

I’m not sure who to attribute this to, but it is this type of content we need more blogs to be posting

Do you actually have kids? You said you don't want any more. How do you manage your relationship dynamic around having a family?

Yes we do. We make sure we keep all dynamic stuff away from the kids, and just have to wait until they’re in bed or not home to do anything sexual. It makes it harder and it puts limits on what you can realistically do but we make it work.

I've been following this lady on TikTok who runs an anti-porn account out of what I can only describe as sociological curiosity. Basically, when I first encountered her videos I sniffed out pretty quickly that she was both a) very very cishet and b) a religious conservative and listening to her talk about sex and relationships has become this fascinating window for me into how The Other Side lives.

Like one of the main conceits of her content revolves around the fact that men have to constantly fight against being overcome by lust, which is hilarious to me, someone who has read fanfiction, because acting like cishet men are somehow uniquely prone to being gooners is so deeply ignorant of how anyone outside a religious conservative community lives.

Oftentimes it is necessary for a submissive to find the point in their daily life identity, where it breaks apart so that they can be free of it.

This is generally experienced by the submissive as a/the starting point of the exploration of their submission.

Because this has to happen EVERY time they transition from daily-life-space into subspace, it is important to consistently answer frequently practice things that make the transition faster and easier.

Having specific activities (that are consented to in advance for maintenance) as activating triggers that their Dominant partner can control becomes an essential part of the submissive’s needed energy demands. Without it, finding one’s way into subspace is often encountered as a daunting or even impossible thing to achieve.

The essential key is having a consistent practice where consent and power is given over to the dominant partner to enforce for the purpose of maintenance. Maintenance to the access path into subspace. Not every maintenance event requires that subspace be reached, only that the energy of the pathway is being maintained in consistent, frequent, specific, and incremental ways.

The sub’s essential responsibility is to support letting their mind move toward or along the path of their submission. The path where down it lies more and more elements of their subspace. That is what they are to do during all of these maintenance events. That’s all. That is the whole point and full scope of the basic responsibility. Every maintenance activity should be chosen specifically to support this specific purpose.

Emptying away the daily-life-space from what fills the mind is the most common part of a maintenance practice. The specific verbal trappings / signs / systems / lexicon, etc… that support you in breaking that apart so you can move through it onto the path of your subspace will vary from person to person and sometimes from one activity to another, or vary between repetitions of the same activity.

Give Grace and allow the language and trappings not to become an obstacle. The deeper point is more important than the words used to describe it. Try your best to navigate around the words and let them go when the wrong ones are chosen.

For some submissives or activities it is more important for the language to be bold and for others it needs to be more subtle. For some it needs to be exaggerated/extreme and for others it needs to be more nuanced and realistic.

I will use maintenance spankings as the activity and here are some examples of the language that might be used to separate the daily-life-space from the path toward subspace:

I’m better when I’m empty headed

Spankings wash the day away

Bimbos don’t think

I serve my [Owner]

Brains are for [Owners]

[Focus on breathing and visualizing]

Owner’s [belt] reminds me what I am

Owner’s spankings help me see myself

Etc…

There can be a scenario that goes along with the maintenance spankings. For example, maybe you are perpetually auditioning for the part of your [Owner’s] good girl and Owner spanks you while discussing different, future subspace experiences or tasks to see whether Owner thinks you’d do well in that experience.

Etc…

Whatever it is, remember, the language itself isn’t the point. That the language is something you decided on because you at the time felt it would be supportive of your access to the pathway toward your subspace is the point. Sometimes the language will just be wrong, and that is true even if it worked well the last time. Don’t let yourself get stuck on that when it inevitably happens. Again, a maintenance activity like a spanking isn’t intended to send you into subspace. It could occasionally happen, but that isn’t its purpose.

So, empty your head, precious little one. Your owner has some places to remind you about. Places where your needy and wet. Places where the worship fills you with obedience and craving. Places where the pain becomes pleasure. Places where the disgusting becomes essential. Places where the more degrading humiliating it is the deeper your pleasure. Places where the idea of it coming to an end disappears because time has bent and the whole universe exists in what I allow your tongue to touch.

You are my brave and deeply appreciated wife.

Come, bend over while I begin reminding you of the pleasures that exist because of the focusing stripes of pain my belt brings to your mind.

Let your daily mind space melt away.

Become empty of all those things.

Enjoy the life of an adventurer on the path of your submission, and allow me to lead you on a never ending journey guided by your need to worship at my altar.

Let your mind go.

From reading all the incel toned “bdsm” blogs out there it seems some basic advice is needed:

Sometimes there will be elements of your practice while training that will include elements of conditioning.

Conditioned responses are perfectly normal. Part of a training practice.

Practice sometimes isn’t simply about repetition. Yes, practice can be about repetition and only about repetition in order to improve a skill. However, sometimes the development of a skill isn’t the only purpose of the practice. Sometimes improvement of the skill is important, but that improvement needs to also include a shift in the way you relate to and think about whatever you are practicing.

In order for a practice to accomplish those goals within your training, oftentimes it is important to change the way your mind relates to the thing being practiced.

That part is usually where conditioning occurs.

It might be conditioning to become more resilient to intrusive negative thoughts about what you imagine others might be thinking about you.

It might be conditioning to become more aroused from performing the activity itself.

It might be conditioning to express more appreciation or to express appreciation in a different way than you have previously thought was the best way to do it.

It might be conditioning to make access into your subspace through the practice easier.

There are a lot of different kinds of conditioning. Those are just a few examples that came to mind.

The point here is that acceptance of conditioning as an essential element of submission and that practice which includes conditioning is commonly an important element of training.

Enjoy it.

Page Rules and Info:

This is a kink blog, often featuring extreme sexual content. My wife and I are in a Daddy Dom/middle dynamic. She is my submissive always but we are in an open marriage as well. My baby @janefdoe is free to play with other men and women so feel free to chat with her. I also play with women.

Trigger warnings are in effect on this page for: CNC, objectification, humiliation, sex*ual violence, abuse, degradation, misogyny

We are both feminists and believe that consent is critical. We both strongly believe in gender equality and women's rights.

However in the context of kink, misogyny, degradation and abuse are a big part of our relationship. Jane loves being objectified, humiliated, degraded and to be called stupid, dumb and loves verbal abuse. Keep in mind that as you see posts of this nature on either of our pages, this is all in the context of role play and kink. There is no one in the world who is smarter and I have more respect for than my beautiful and brilliant wife. But this page is our playtime space so you will see lots of content and terms and epithets that may be offensive or triggering.

Please be aware that the content of our pages do not reflect our world beliefs about women or consent. Outside of this page and our lifestyle we strongly believe that women absolutely need to be treated with respect unless consent is provided otherwise. These are kinks that Jane and myself personally like for our private lives but do not presume them to apply outside of our kink lifestyle.

Therefore, we respectfully ask anyone visiting this page to please be aware of this before proceeding or interacting with us. If you are sensitive to these kind of subjects or have triggers regarding s*xual violence, fantasy non-consent, and violent/extreme discussions involving women, please proceed with caution to avoid any triggering content. Please keep these things in mind if you are easily offended and understand that this is our fantasy lifestyle and that consent is always present between my wife and I.

Extra notes

@janefdoe and myself are strong LGBTQ+ friendly allies. While gay content will not be featured heavily on this page, please be aware that homophobic slurs and attacks are not in any way acceptable on either of our pages and any comments regarding that will be deleted and offenders banned. Hateful and racist comments will also not be tolerated.

Use common sense and you should be able to enjoy our content.

Occasionally, keep me on a diet of nothing but your piss and cum. Remind me that I need you like I need water. Literally.  Make me beg for your piss like my life depended on it.