An Excellent Introductory Article On 24/7 D/s Lifestyles With Collaring And Considerations For A Physically

Aftercare. 💙✨

I know most people know what subdrop is, but for the few who don’t I’ll explain.

Subdrop is what happens to your body after you’ve drained your brain of all the hormones and chemicals that it released during a scene or session.

Meaning, after you‘ve come down from your high, you start to feel mentally and emotionally attacked from what just happened. You start to think all these bad things about yourself and how someone normal would not find what just occurred pleasurable in anyways.

That’s why aftercare is important. Showering your sub in compliments,food, cuddle sessions. Just stuff that will make them feel like you care and that you don’t judge them for enjoying what they like.

Another thing, I’m positive that most people don’t know is what topdrop is. It’s the same as subdrop but it affects doms/dommes.

I know some people will be like- “Doms/dommes don’t go through that, nothing like that bothers them.” That’s where you’re wrong.

Remember we’re all human so no one is exempt from feeling used or feeling disgusted with their actions even though they shouldn’t be.

Not many know this but being a dom/domme is exhausting. A good top plans physical punishments or sexual scenes down to the T so their is no room for accidents and after all that planning and executing said plan they sometimes feel bad for doing what they did or even feel used in a sense.

That’s why aftercare is important for both parties. Show them that you care and that you appreciate what they did. Reassure them that they didn’t hurt you in a bad way and that they only did what they did to help you grow. ASK👏 THEM👏 IF👏 THEY’RE👏 OKAY👏!! Especially right after a session.

That can be the difference between showing that you care or not.

AFTERCARE IS A NECESSITY FOR BOTH PARTICIPANTS!!👏💙✨

10  things a Dom expects a sub to know without being told

1. He needs to be the priority. Make him your priority regardless of how horny you are. A true Dom/sub relationship extends beyond sex into all other aspects of the partnership.

2. He has emotions and needs them acknowledged. The internet (and Tumblr is especially egregious in this regard) has created the toxic stereotype of the Dominant as this calm, cold, unemotional Olympian figure who is always as in charge of himself as he is of his submissive. Accept that your Dominant is human, and it is only normal, and that he will occasionally have a moment of weakness, or self-doubt, or — horrors! — shedding a tear.

3. Know him better than others. If your Dominant is having emotional difficulties, or even something as “insignificant” as a bad day at work, you should be sensitive to that, just as he needs to do likewise for you. It’s a mutually-caring relationship after all.

4. Let him control things (including you). That is his responsibility. Yours is to obey.

5. Abide by the rules. Your Dominant constructs various rules, tasks, rituals, etc, for a purpose. That purpose may not always be obvious to you. It doesn’t have to be. Trust that he knows what he’s doing. If you’re not willing to put in the work, then you should do some soul-searching and evaluate how deep (or even genuine) your submission really is.

6. Remember that he is yours. This is always reciprocal. Just as he expects your total devotion and commitment and fidelity, you have the right to expect those things from him. To be clear, this is not the same as taking your Dominant for granted. Just as he has to earn those things from you every day, so you also have to earn them from him every day.

7. Appreciate the work he puts into you, and let him know that you appreciate it. Being a dominant (especially in a day-to-day rather than sporadic relationship) is hard work. Let him know how much it means to you that he considers you worthy of all that work and direction and energy.

8. Be mindful of your respective positions in the D/s relationship. He is your Dominant. Can you be affectionately playful and impish? Yes; any Dominant who doesn’t  relish such from his submissive on occasion has some significant self-confidence issues. Sarcastic or willfully bratty? No way.

9. Give the same respect you get. If he shows you that, despite the way your relationship might look to the vanillas, he holds you in the highest respect, then return that  respect. If you come to the conclusion that he does not hold you in the highest respect, you might want to reevaluate your relationship and possibly move on.

10. Above all else: he expects your submission to be whole and complete and without reservation, save for those things that the two of you negotiate as equals before you offer him your submission (and renegotiate from time to time as the relationship evolves). You don’t get to submit just when you’re in the mood. There are no half-measures.

And on the flipside

10 things a sub expects a Dom to know…without being told

1. She needs to be the priority. She doesn’t want to compete with others. If every woman is hot, she’ll find it hard to stand out….and she needs to stand out.

2. She has emotions and needs them acknowledged. Probably more than you bargained for.

3. She needs you to know her better than others do….if her friends notice she was in a slump, you should notice first.

4. There are some things some of us just can’t physically do…don’t expect her to do something just because your last sub could or you’ve seen another sub do it. Not every sub can take a dick all the way down her throat.

5. Don’t compare her. She’s her own individual. She’s unique. That’s probably why you chose her in the first place. She may not be the hottest sub or have pics of her pink parts spread out for the world to see. But she goes out of her way to be the best in your eyes. Show her that she is.

6. Let her control things. ( wait, don’t let your heads explode here). If you’ve delegated certain chores to her…give her the control to do them. If they are getting done, does it really matter that they weren’t done in the exact way you would’ve done them?

7. Enforce the rules. All the time. Not just when it makes you feel Domly. After all, she’s in this D/s relationship because she needs the structure of the rules. She might sigh or grumble… but rules are partly why she’s here.

8. Remind her she’s yours. Every day. Even if you haven’t collared her, she’s given herself to you. She wants to hear and see that you own her. (Example: a hand full of hair while firmly kissing her will remind her of that…and get her wet in the process ;). )

9. Appreciate the submission she gives you. It takes more for some to submit than just the act of doing what they are told. She might find that she has to submit herself every day.

10. Be hers. Just as she is yours. Let her know that you aren’t just a Dom…you are HER Dom.

These are two separate blog posting yet fitting for one. That way everyone that needs it has both  to understand both sides of the coin. 

A reminder from the therapy couch: just because you’re a service submissive does not mean you should pour out your cup completely and never replenish it. You do both your Dominant and yourself a disservice by disinvesting in your wellbeing.

Some women like it. That’s their right to choose a life that aligns with their submissive sexual identity.

The “all women are below men” nonsense we see so much of is written by naive simpletons for the most part. The few who aren’t simpletons are grifters.

Learn that even if you don’t feel aroused, your wet pussy is giving you an easy opportunity to follow the path to it. Good girls use their wet pussy to chase arousal and their arousal to chase their wet pussy.

This is actually a too often undiscussed topic.

A lot of people don’t understand the importance of very fully draining every possible drop of cum from a partner. (I think this mostly stems from a lack of anatomical understanding of the orgasm.)

Yes, an orgasm can come and go creating a flash of climactic pleasure, however if the various glands/organs involved in orgasm are not drained there will be a persisting feeling of pressure and incompleteness of the orgasm that lingers with varying intensity depending on the amount of fluid left un-ejaculated in the glands and tubes of the reproductive system. For a truly complete orgasm experience to be achieved, the cock has to be continuously and intensely drained CONSIDERABLY beyond that first few waves of initial orgasm.

Getting to that point via vaginal or anal sex can be difficult especially if the vagina or asshole is not still a very tight sleeve around the cock during the orgasm. If you want to really give the best orgasm possible, it can sometimes require manual or oral stimulation to drain the cock after an orgasm from vaginal or anal sex. With oral sex getting to a well drained state of pleasure requires ongoing effort to draw all the cum from the cock, usually as a hybrid of oral and manual efforts.

This eventually leads to a state where the pleasure from being so well drained tips over and overstimulation forces you to tap out. If you are not frequently draining your partner until they tap out from overstimulation then you should try this more often and talk about it to see which your partner enjoys more.

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As an important and related tangent thought:

A lot of men (like myself) are attuned to their partner’s energy when orgasming and if the orgasm started from oral sex, if you reject swallowing and/or negatively react to having his cum in your mouth it is experienced as a deeply dysfunctional type of rejection. Experiencing this deep rejection is related to the partner not deriving sufficient personal enjoyment and pleasure from making their partner cum that their pleasure state doesn’t allow them to overcome whatever their aversion to cum is, and then this diminishes their role in the connection made during orgasm. It is replaced by a sense of them simply performing a perfunctory/indifferent/mechanical action for the orgasming partner. This feeling can be very emotionally disconnecting for the person who is cumming. It isn’t necessary to always drain every drop down your throat, but making a conscious effort to show enjoyment of having the opportunity to swallow some of their partners cum is encouragement that will lead to that partner being less hesitant and more excited about cumming when you do it in the future. Orgasms will be easier to elicit if you establish a sincere track record of being enthusiastic and thankful for their cum.

needing to suck him dry while he's writhing and moaning

Getting a firm no from my Dominant after I’ve been getting a lot of leniencies lately is always a bit of a shock.

A surge of feelings goes through me at first. There is the surprise and then a bit of indignation and annoyance. I sit in bewilderment because I was most definitely expecting him to allow me to do what I wanted. I whine a bit and push to see if the invisible boundary will move some. It doesn’t. It’s rock solid. A no is a no.

All of the emotions associated with resentment start to fade and instead leave feelings of safety and contentment. There is still structure and lines I cannot cross. He is still in control and any leniency I’ve been given lately has been his choice. He can tell me no and I have to listen whether I like it or not…but deep down, I always like it. My submissive nature is always stronger than whatever little want I may have yearned for at the time. I feel settled.

Your body must be rested and fed if you wish to be a pervert.