A Reminder From The Therapy Couch: Just Because You’re A Service Submissive Does Not Mean You Should

I’m not sure who to attribute this to, but it is this type of content we need more blogs to be posting

Something I commonly see that isn’t explained with enough frequency is hypnokink and adjacent ideas regarding the “blank” mind-state.

There are a variety of approaches to subspace, subdrop, and the practices that make those elements more accessible. One of the most common is the idea of some form of letting go of the entrapments of one’s day-to day anxieties and social demands. The “ego-death” pathway that is part of self-development pathways such as mindfulness, contemplative engagement, and other growth practices.

Some practitioners extoll the benefits of substance use to facilitate the rigidity relaxing state through things like alcohol, but alcohol creates a set of problems related to self-esteem reduction and being an intrinsic obstacle to personal ownership of one’s subspace/subdrop experiences and practices.

More healthy, helpful, and sustainable are the self-discipline based practices that support access to subspace as part of a healthy personal growth and development practices like meditation, repetition, and dedication.

For most there is an external support structure preferred either because it has proven to be needed due to one obstacle or another. Maybe self-discipline is the challenge or it could be that intrusive thoughts make a totally solo-practice too difficult to initiate. A myriad of reasons can make a solo practice challenging, including those and other examples or even simply because the enjoyment is tethered to being partnered in the pursuit and practice. (We are social creatures after all.)

Understanding that you have an obstacle and need a path that manages and supports your practice in overcoming it is an essential part of doing the work.

That gets us back around to an oft overlooked aspect of the work with an external source of assistance. Whether it is a Dom/sub relationship partner or a generically presented/broadcast blog poster, etc… an external source will often guide you to a state of “mindlessness.” Being “blank.” Or other reductionist place.

The idea here being that just like when you take a breath, there is always a paused and potentiated space between the inward and the outward breaths. A blank moment at every peak and valley where all things are possible while no thing is being actuated. A channel of potential for any thing. This is a mindless space where nothing fills the horizon and every thing remains still and filled with potential.

Holding that space is a practice. Accepting another’s guidance (whether with your intention, their intention, or a negotiated intention developed by you both) is a practice.

Accessing subspace and/or subdrop is only made easier and deeper through conscious participation in some form of practice that supports it.

Some kinks fetishize a submissive remaining in some element of that state or a directly adjacent state. For example: “bimbo,” “pet,” or “doll” objectification kinks overtly reduce a person into this state and leave them there as they become a channel for service. A “Bimbo” kink might commonly combine the channel with hyper accentuated happiness from the simplicity of not being burdened with responsibilities beyond being a Bimbo. A “Pet” kink might commonly combine the channel with hyper accentuated enthusiasm for service and/or a need for training. A “Doll” kink might hyper accentuate ability to remain deeply in the channel itself. (I present these as common but not exclusive examples.)

Suspension of disbelief is another element that supports access to the channel. You allow yourself full belief that you DO deserve that punishment. That you SHOULD be given that belt spanking. That you ARE excited about being a cumdump. That you WILL be happier while being displayed in a tiny little dress. That you DO want strangers to grope you on the dance floor. That greeting guests on your knees and offering them your mouth IS the best way to host a party. That you ARE a good girl if you swallow. That your wet pussy IS consent. That obedience IS the pathway to your personal pleasure. Etc… In suspension of disbelief or any other practice like this where societal norms, self esteem challenges, intrusive thoughts, or other obstacles get in the way of accessing that state of belief there is a bridge needed. The bridge is that pause between breaths. That channel in between what is currently occurring and what will be occurring after the bridge is traversed. Practicing access to the channel will identify the best ways for you and your obstacles to find your way to the channel.

One more item I’d like to discuss is Hypno-kink which also engages the elements of this bridge to a mindless/blank channel while accentuating an adjacent consensual non-consent element. It is a practice where suspension of disbelief is something you empower to be activated by another person on your behalf.

For many, the mindless space is not the end goal, but a transitional space one passes through on their way from one mental state (where it may be difficult to self direct into a subspace channel) into another mental state where subspace is actualized. This is the nature of the adjacent kinks being prevalent elements that accompany this part of a bdsm practice.

First… This is a fantastic fantasy. I think this fantasy amazing.

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However, I think it is important to occasionally address and explain the differences between fantasy and actual BDSM practice.

Given the “regular world” facing nature of Tumblr (this is not occurring in a closed community setting where everyone understands the nature of kink and feminism’s role in it.) I do feel compelled to occasionally use a fantasy post as an opportunity to explain things to the regular public facing world.

Feminism (the inherent state of equality between all people regardless of gender) is the basic mechanism for all actual BDSM practices.

It is only from the state of equality that any person can choose to experience a “lesser” position in relation to their partner(s). Any other activity is abuse and is not any form of actual Dominance and submission.

Having a fantasy about abuse is absolutely normal. Fantasies are an important element of determining what types of practice to pursue.

Turning a fantasy about abuse into an actual sexual practice, however, requires everyone’s understanding that the person submitting is equal in all ways, and will always be equal to the Dominant. What is being agreed to is a suspension of disbelief, where the submissive and the Dominant are able to set aside that reality of equality and practice within an alternate agreed upon energy exchange structure instead.

The submissive can always end this at any time and for any reason.

Fantasy is the fuel for choosing a practice. Then you get to enjoy practices where you explore living inside the fantasies.

I need a male friend who only see me as an object. He would start slow training me, at first just simple touches on my shoulders or brushing my arms, then progressing further and further the more i get used to. Pushing into my butt from behind when i bend down “as a joke”, “accidentally” brushing his hands against my chest, making more and more suggestive comments regarding my body and clothing. Until he eventually conditions me into being a cock whore for him and all his friends as the mock me for once thinking woman and men are equal and once believing in stupid things like feminism.

It is a common misconception that only bad girls get punished. In fact, that discipline is important for all girls. It is what makes them into good girls.

PSA: Freeuse is about consent

Freeuse (or "free use") is about radical consent. While it is about consenting broadly, it is still absolutely about consent. Even in fictional worlds where sex is seen on about on the same level as handshakes here, it is something people permit, something they consent to.

The Sexual Service Act world is populated with women who chose and continue to choose to be dominated by men. Is that an unlikely reality? Yes. Fiction does not need to be likely.

Their bodies, their choice to give or rescind power over their bodies.

Submissives permit Dom(me)s to have power over them and can revoke it at any time. That's how power play works.

Don't confuse fantasies, fiction, and play with reality. Enjoy all of those things as much as you like, and as deeply or darkly as you like. However...

If you're threatening women and telling them they have no choice over what happens to them in the real world, I am not your friend.

If this post makes you unfollow this blog, stop buying my stories, etc... well, I'll just have to do without you. I'd prefer you understand what I'm saying but I'll just have to hope you figure out a few things someday.

A good girl wants to be used as the entertainment for partied.

She wants to be completely naked while fully dressed guests mingle.

She wants it known that at anytime the guests can fuck her. Any where they wish and in front of anyone they wish.

She wants the guests to carry on their conversations normally, fully ignoring her whimpers and leaking holes to whatever degree the choose.

A good girl will sit with legs spread awaiting any guest who may wish to grope, finger, or fuck her.

She is excited to be passed around and given from lap to lap as guests entertain themselves casually with her body.

She encourages her objectification and humiliation at whatever level the guest demands as they finger and fuck her with whatever their hearts and hard cocks desire.

A good girl spreads wider as a hand, a wine bottle or cock is fucked into her dripping wet hole.

A good girls gets off on the fact that she has inspired the guests to invent depraved games to use her in.

A good girl serves their widely varied kinks and gets off on the fact that they thought so highly of her and of her ability to find enjoyment in being of this kind of service to their sexual perversity and depravity that they chose her above all others to give her service to them.

A good girl accepts who she is.

A good girl asks for ever more opportunities to practice it.

So much about Dominance and submission is simply about negotiating and implementing small behaviors that reinforce these roles and deepen access to enthusiasm for the energy exchange.

Always on my best behavior for daddy 😊