Something I Commonly See That Isn’t Explained With Enough Frequency Is Hypnokink And Adjacent Ideas

https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_nagoski_how_couples_can_sustain_a_strong_sexual_connection_for_a_lifetime?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Aftercare. 💙✨

I know most people know what subdrop is, but for the few who don’t I’ll explain.

Subdrop is what happens to your body after you’ve drained your brain of all the hormones and chemicals that it released during a scene or session.

Meaning, after you‘ve come down from your high, you start to feel mentally and emotionally attacked from what just happened. You start to think all these bad things about yourself and how someone normal would not find what just occurred pleasurable in anyways.

That’s why aftercare is important. Showering your sub in compliments,food, cuddle sessions. Just stuff that will make them feel like you care and that you don’t judge them for enjoying what they like.

Another thing, I’m positive that most people don’t know is what topdrop is. It’s the same as subdrop but it affects doms/dommes.

I know some people will be like- “Doms/dommes don’t go through that, nothing like that bothers them.” That’s where you’re wrong.

Remember we’re all human so no one is exempt from feeling used or feeling disgusted with their actions even though they shouldn’t be.

Not many know this but being a dom/domme is exhausting. A good top plans physical punishments or sexual scenes down to the T so their is no room for accidents and after all that planning and executing said plan they sometimes feel bad for doing what they did or even feel used in a sense.

That’s why aftercare is important for both parties. Show them that you care and that you appreciate what they did. Reassure them that they didn’t hurt you in a bad way and that they only did what they did to help you grow. ASK👏 THEM👏 IF👏 THEY’RE👏 OKAY👏!! Especially right after a session.

That can be the difference between showing that you care or not.

AFTERCARE IS A NECESSITY FOR BOTH PARTICIPANTS!!👏💙✨

Just let it happen

80% of being a woman/cock doll is letting things happen to you. He asks for your phone number, you let him have it. He asks you on a date, you let him take you.

The difficult part comes after the niceties. It can be hard to let go, and let other things happen to you. It may help to consider yourself as a well, and he’s the bucket. You exist to give, he exists to take. If the well is dry, it can’t give anything. If it can’t give anything, it’s useless. (A bucket, on the other hand, will always be useful in any other well.)

He wants to come upstairs, don’t hesitate. Let him. He wants to take photos, let him. He wants your asshole? Well, what did you expect? You let him take you out, you let him do the nice things. Now it’s time to let him do everything else. Men are designed to want and you’re designed to give.

Hubby has been more demanding recently. When he bosses me around, I let him. This may sound like I’m topping from the bottom, but it’s not what I mean. I “let him” in that when he tells me what to do, I’ve actively tried not to resist. He half-jokingly told me to stop talking the other day. The old me may not have let that happen, snapping back with some remark, needing to have the last word to seem strong or witty. But I let myself be silenced, and it was like the endorphins rushed straight to my clit. I am a well full of willfulness that Husband is taking away, one bucket at a time. I’m happier because I let him.

We get so nervous over stupid things. What will other people think? Is this too humiliating? What if he’s just using me?

Let him.

Listen to that voice inside you that says “obey.” Being smart, talented, artistic- these are all good qualities, but they won’t be as important as your servility. You can cash in on them a bit, in that your loss of dignity will be that much greater, your fall, that much harder. But you’ll be simultaneously released from the pressures of being those things.

So when you think you have something important to say, and he decides to put tape over your mouth? Let him. Be grateful that he can see past what you think you need. Give in, let yourself be silenced.

Because when you let him, you can finally allow yourself to love, honor, and obey.

Xoxo Dbts

You have failed to perform your most basic of self maintenance responsibilities. Your punishment spanking is severe with three stripes for every day you fell short this week. Though it makes his cock hard he hates to have to do this. It would be a far greater pleasure for you to develop the basic obedience you’ve agreed to.

Alas, he agreed to dispense with the necessary punishment as a deterrent to you thinking there is no consequence for your choice not to follow through with your part in the training. You see, you are in fact training him in how to dispense severe discipline as a motivator for you. Your choice to fall short in your practice was agreed to result in this spanking. You knew it and still you fell short. Terribly short. A tiny slip as a reasonably excused missed practice, but you’re not even really trying to do hardly any of the work you agreed to do on your own.

Some part of you clearly still needs this to be part of your training. You are ashamed to admit that him stepping up and enforcing your severe punishment spanking turns you on, and you wonder whether part of you just craves this kind of severe and guiding attention.

Sure in the moment you are mad and it gets directed at him. But in the moments of self reflective clarity that follow, you see it is you who wanted this. You who caused it. You who made him do this to you because you not only agreed to and deserved it, but because you still need it.

That you know he will do this is a motivating force for you this coming week. You don’t fear it. You are just energized by knowing he will step up and create this energy for you when you demonstrate that you truly need it.

This is what training looks like. This is why a Dom who resists implementing agreed on punishments is responsible for spoiling the training just as much as the submissive who fails to practice.

The essence of Dominance....💜

Perfect isn’t possible, but being a person who consistently practices makes you a good girl

Drool hehe

🤤😵‍💫

Acceptance of your sexual identity as a submissive with extreme kinks means, in part, being able to have pride and resilience against what negative things you imagine others might be thinking about you and your choices.

Celebrate yourself.

This is an excellent example of why it is important to edge in relationship to a practiced behavior such as being spanked.

Edging as part of training a behavior intentionally conditions an arousal trigger in connection to being spanked so that you begin to subconsciously crave the spankings in a way that causes you to sincerely present yourself in a way that a girl who has not engaged in that conditioning, simply can’t.

Certainly a perforative presentation can be made by any submissive, but the sub’s behavior stemming from sincerity, arousal, and genuine craving is what a Dominant with interests like myself feels excited and compelled by.

Edging with spankings serves an additional purpose beyond simple conditioning, also. Edging allows the nervous system to be hijacked in a way that takes the pain of an experience, in this case spanking, and redistributes the relationship you have to experiencing that particular type of pain into a pleasure center rather than a recoiling center.

This is, in part, why real training protocols are a trust exercise as much as anything else.