Aftercare. 💙✨

To all those who are or want to be Vixens . . .

Sometimes a lesson that is very simple just doesn’t get properly understood by your submissive. A variety of approaches can still leave you unsatisfied with the submissive’s sincerity or depth of personal effort.

Shifting around from praise as a technique to exercising greater/total control over the submissive can sometimes shock their thought process into understanding and growing past a plateau in their service’s growth.

Escalated and more severe measures sometimes are necessary, and for praise focused practices it can provide a necessary jolt.

Forced positioning so the content of the lesson itself is the sole point of focus can be one helpful technique.

🇨🇦𝛂♂

I feel frequently compelled to explain this, and I let it go almost always when it crosses my feed, but… here we are.

Feminism is the engine by which the choice is made. Choosing to be a submissive, in this case an object of male attention and pleasure, is a choice that can only be made from a position of inherent equality. That state never actually leaves and as such it is always revocable.

A woman who has chosen to submit is a Feminist and is practicing feminism in her life.

A woman is entitled to experience whatever energy in her life and relationships that she wants to experience. Feminism is simply the inherent truth of her equality and power to make whatever choices she wants to make.

You can either spread feminism or spread your legs. Once you choose one option, the other vanishes forever

Choose wisely

Always good to see the good old instructions are still circulating

Vacuous and ignorant use of multiple fallacies is a typical form of self defense for those needing to pretend they have a biological right above others as a mask for their lack of ability to earn it.

The “bounces off of me and sticks to you” rebuttal from this oddly flailing patriarchy blog is just a little icing on the cake of the deflective and self absorbed dysfunction inherent in patriarchy obsessed nonsense peddlers.

Make it make sense…

Often times the first step on the path of developing a BDSM practice is the seemingly simple yet often very complicated step of accepting parts of yourself that you are unsure about because of social conditioning leading you to think less of yourself by accepting them. There’s nothing wrong with you for wanting to allow someone else to control certain parts of your life. There are healthy ways to do that and there are unhealthy ways to do that. An appropriate and mindful BDSM practice is about developing the healthy ways while learning about the unhealthy ways that might rise up as obstructions to your success. 

🌀🌀🌀you must obey

Here is an (exaggerated/fantasy) example of conditioning as part of training.

Let’s say, for example, that as part of a discussion and negotiation regarding what things might be part of a submissive’s practice goals it is mutually acknowledged that the submissive wants to improve on their cum swallowing.

This might on one hand, simply be a matter of skill training. Practice that removes a gag reflex or disgust reaction is one type of training. This is a type of training that could lead to the submissive experiencing pride in their success at swallowing. This is a type of training that could lead to the Dominant experiencing greater physical pleasure when the submissive is able to perform swallowing in a way that is more pleasing.

However, there is another type of training goal that could also come in to play. The above, exaggerated example is about a submissive being erotically conditioned as part of their training so they develop a sincerely enthusiastic relationship to swallowing cum.

(The example given, isn’t how I would go about such a training, but scrolling past it prompted the thought to write about it.)

For many tasks, like come, swallowing, or anal, sex or exhibitionism, just the performative ability to do the task is not the deeper goal. Rather it is to develop the performance skill as part of developing a new erotic relationship within themselves where an action, like swallowing, is connected to their real and sincere erotic desires in a truly enthusiastic way.

Training to simply perform a task or to develop a specific skill is different as a goal of a BDSM practice as compared to training to develop a different personal relationship within performing a task. Because of this the entire approach to training and practice will be quite different.

It is important to understand the difference between simple skill training and practicing to intentionally develop or change one’s erotic enthusiasm.

Groomed into being a cum addict. Made to swallow cum when forced to give blowjobs. Everything is tainted with cum. My drinks, my food. Even my toothpaste. Which is just straight-up cum on my toothbrush. You do this for months. Making me crave it, making me so addicted! Nothing tastes right. Nothing tastes as good as cum! I beg and plead for it when it’s not added to my food or drink. I crave it so much that even in public, I give blowjobs just so I can get my fix. I'm a whore and all you do to pay is to make sure you cum in my mouth.

That's Right vs Yes, And

We talk about how hypnotists do best when they take from improv, but I want to talk a little bit about the hypnosis equivalent of "yes, and."

"That's right" and other affirmative phrases are our catch-all tool for this. Utilization -- when we take what is offered from our subjects -- is critical to hypnosis, and "that's right" doesn't just tell them that they're doing a good job. It says "I see your response, I'm paying attention, and you're responding perfectly."

That's the "yes" part. The "and" part is the other half of utilization: all responses the subject gives us are useful to hypnosis.

When your partner sighs in trance, you can tell them about how sighing is a kind of unconscious release, that their body is priming them to sink deeper.

When your partner smiles at something you say, you can tell them that smiling instinctively floods their body with positive feelings, and maybe they'll smile bigger, and that will even develop into a laugh, or helpless giggling that will empty out their brain.

The main formula for attentive and creative hypnosis like this is "affirm, then suggest." Pace, and lead. Tell you that you see and accept their responses, and build on it.

"Yes, and." And it's built in for us!

Everyone learns in different ways.

Reinforcing lessons, to a point of acceptance of that lesson, might require a variety of approaches until it is finally understood to a point that it no longer needs to be taught.

Acceptance leads to sincerity of practice.

If you lack sincerity in your practice then you are still in need of the lessons and the consequences that come from not yet understanding the importance of the practice.

🇨🇦𝛂♂

Having rules that work for everyone is always a good way to frame romantic sexual obedience

mercy has a rule that I put in place years ago that states when I ask to see her tits she will show them to me as soon as she can. mercy sent me this one from work 2 minutes after I requested it.

Isn't she such a good girl?