Always Good To See The Good Old Instructions Are Still Circulating

if she wears cute lingerie for you don’t take everything off, push the panties to the side and fuck her in her cute little outfit.

Is it really, really gross and outside of many sub’s boundaries to be used as an ashtray?

Absolutely.

However, that isn’t the point of presenting this video as an instructional example.

This is an extremely good video for EVERY sub to watch on repeat as part of understanding what processing looks like.

There are a lot of kinds of processing, but processing disgust is one of the most important because disgust is one of the top obstacles a submissive is likely to face along their path of growth and development. (Pain processing, jealousy processing, humiliation processing, degradation processing, self acceptance processing, and obedience processing are a few of the other obstacle strewn areas where growth through processing is required for success.

This video/scenario gets to the very heart of a purposeful D/s practice. As a Dominant, I find watching a submissive accept their Dominant’s guidance and to then process through a difficult obstacle successfully to be incredibly arousing.

If your disgust reaction is too strong, you may need to watch it and desensitize until you can overcome your disgust and clearly see the power she manifests as she processes through being an ashtray. Dominants, watch the way he supports her through patience and clear communication. You can hear in his tone that he believes in her ability to focus her power and succeed.

This is what healthy D/s practice looks like. Study it and communicate with each other about how to accomplish this sort of processing success for the obstacles that challenge you in your path.

My good girl, my ashtray, I'm going to smoke my Cuban cigar, open your mouth, I don't want to see a tear fall, the consequences could be much worse, and remember to always thank me 🖤

Good submissives seek out and listen carefully to whatever things make their partners happy (and their cocks hard.) They learn to excitedly let obedience to the cravings that their partners have become the focus of their own arousal.

Letting it fill the full horizon of your mind is the nature of the experience a submissive should always strive for. Develop your arousal entirely within service to your Dominant partner’s preferred kinks.

Of course, in a healthy BDSM relationship the Dominant partner is also attentive to your interests and sexual triggers and will shape their own cravings by using YOUR sexual energy as an essential ingredient. This should at times be so deeply entwined together that the submissive cannot differentiate easily which energy and kinks belonged originally to the Dominant partner or to them. This blending and loss of self awareness is often a necessary element of healthy “relationship subdrop.”

Relationship supdrop is the idea that simply spending time being present within the relationship’s energy is a step into subdrop. This is the very first stage of development for a 24/7 D/s relationship.

The two partners at some point or another might simply look at each other and realize that their energy extends so deeply into each other that sometimes, oftentimes, it can be hard to see life as being anything else.

Begin in a place that deeply appeals to a sub to facilitate subdrop’s first stages and then any escalations into subspace makes it possible to introduce other harder to process kinks and also sexual elements of service to the Dominant’s preferences that would have met resistance if introduced at the wrong time. In this way the fact that they are the Dominant’s preferences becomes lost. Remember, as a submissive your primary focus is to fill your horizon with service to and arousal from your Dominant’s kinks and preferences. Once enmeshed in the elevation of an experience whatever the Dominant introduces, if done skillfully, will truly feel like it was a kink you held hidden away deep inside of you all along. In truth, given the interconnected reality of our existence using this tool to access the interpersonal psychology of your relationship with your partner is completely understandable.

to you it’s perverted gross sex. to me it’s being creative, working through traumas and baggage, healing my inner child, playing, practicing intense vulnerability, finding even more ways to fall in love with my partner, finding more ways to fall in love with myself, learning confidence & how to ask for what i want, care work, emotional release, relaxing, community building, theater, dance, writing, problem solving, therapy, radical honestly, and so much more. and also it’s gross perverted sex.

That's Right vs Yes, And

We talk about how hypnotists do best when they take from improv, but I want to talk a little bit about the hypnosis equivalent of "yes, and."

"That's right" and other affirmative phrases are our catch-all tool for this. Utilization -- when we take what is offered from our subjects -- is critical to hypnosis, and "that's right" doesn't just tell them that they're doing a good job. It says "I see your response, I'm paying attention, and you're responding perfectly."

That's the "yes" part. The "and" part is the other half of utilization: all responses the subject gives us are useful to hypnosis.

When your partner sighs in trance, you can tell them about how sighing is a kind of unconscious release, that their body is priming them to sink deeper.

When your partner smiles at something you say, you can tell them that smiling instinctively floods their body with positive feelings, and maybe they'll smile bigger, and that will even develop into a laugh, or helpless giggling that will empty out their brain.

The main formula for attentive and creative hypnosis like this is "affirm, then suggest." Pace, and lead. Tell you that you see and accept their responses, and build on it.

"Yes, and." And it's built in for us!

The Fake Dom Problem

How submissives are misinformed, misled and taken advantage of by people pretending to be a "real Dom".

I'm writing this, because I know from experience that there are many so called 'fake Doms' out there. These are (mostly) men who pretend to be a dominant in the BDSM culture, often claiming having lots of experience, while in reality they are simply men looking to take advantage of (often) young and inexperienced submissive females, who make an easy target to be taken advantage of due to their submissive nature.

A couple of things that usually stand out with fake Doms, is that they quickly assume the "dominant" role, or at least, what they presume to be the dominant role. Very often they'll have the submissive female refer to them as 'Sir' or 'Master', sometimes even from the start, even though no consent has been given, and the "Dom" knows little to nothing about the submissive in question.

They'll often quickly continue with online role play, start asking submissives what clothes they are wearing, or demanding they do as they tell, because they are the "Dom", and they (incorrectly) assume a submissive must always tell whatever a Dom tells them to do. This often leads to submissives being incorrectly informed, taken advantage of and being misled, sometimes even abused.

Often these are just men looking for sexting, or online role play, and have little to no experience or knowledge about BDSM or being a "real Dom". Some of them might simply be looking to get themselves off, or sometimes are just looking to score nudes from their victims.

A real Dom however will never start demanding things from a submissive, until consent has been given from both sides. A real Dom will never ask you to call them 'Sir' or 'Master', until you both have agreed upon it, and preferably not until you both know something about each other, what both of your desires and limitations are.

A good Dom will always first try to get to know a submissive first, to try and understand their needs, desires and wishes, as well as their limitations, current circumstances and hard limits. This is of key importance, not just to built trust, but also to prevent crossing the line and leaving the submissive with a bad experience.

So please, be careful when you meet a new Dom online. Make sure you get to know each other first. Don't send pictures until you feel comfortable. And my personal opinion would be, not to send any nudes or sensitive material, until you have both personally met each other face to face, so you know that he or she is the real deal and not a fake Dom.

Don't let yourself be fooled or pressured into things because some online Dom tells you to. A good Dom respects your limits and respects you. I know this might sound weird for those submissives that crave to be humiliated and degraded, but only someone who respects you can truly humiliated and degrade you the way you want to. After all, if there's nothing to be respected, there's nothing to humiliate or degrade.

If you have any questions, want advice or just want to talk, my DM is always open.

Let's create a safer and better place for both Dom's and submissives, with less fakers and more real people looking for the real thing.

Please share this!

@dominantbimbotrainer

Consent Survey

We may be weird, but we do take consent seriously. Here is the link to the template that we use to gauge interests and establish consent and gauge interest on different kink topics.

We are giving it away for free to anyone that would like to make a copy and use it!

Someone asked to see our contract.

Physical inferiority, where it is present, and the nature of being the receiving partner in sex acts / positions does not make a woman inferior to a man. Only dunces who can’t actually earn a woman’s interest otherwise promote that base level of idiocy. Essentially, men who promote that idea are the intellectual Bimbos among men.

It is natural for women to feel embarrassed when being fucked.

You get in a primally submissive position (bent over sticking your butt out or on your back with your legs spread in the air), someone bigger and larger sticks their cock in you and vigorously rails you, while you usually enjoy and get off on the feeling of getting dominated/owned.

You're inferior by nature, slut.