It Is A Common Misconception That Only Bad Girls Get Punished. In Fact, That Discipline Is Important

Just to repeat myself

I've been seeing a recent influx of followers so now is a good opportunity to repeat a post I've made before:

This blog is not a safe space for nazis, trump supporters, right wingers, transphobes, homophobes or actual real life misogynists.

If any of the above describes you, kindly fuck off.

Work together on lists like this so the items better reflect what he considers to be proper and enjoyable service

✨️Wish✨️List:

Grope me openly while we're out

Have me wear a cute plug and a short dress out in public to show off

Get me completely wasted and take advantage of me, bonus for cross fading

Use me in front of your friends/ share me with them

Piss in my ass and then put a plug in me. Call me a disgusting toilet while you pat my head.

Make me crawl around naked with a leash on

Have me suck on you all day under your desk

Tie me up and overstimulate me until I'm screaming and crying

Get me a shock collar and shock me randomly for fun. Especially while bringing you things, punish me when I drop them

Make me exercise while full of toys until I collapse

Only let me eat food if you've cummed on it

Make me ask to use the bathroom, tell me no randomly to watch me squirm

Leave cute little marks all over my body, bruises, burns, welts, cuts, etc.

Stretch out my pussy till I cry and then mke fun of me for being loose

Make me get piercings/tattoos for you

Tell me to be quiet or else, then torture my pussy until you can punish me for squealing

Only let me cum while your dick is in my ass so I'm always craving anal to cum

Shove random things in my pussy, laugh when it hurts

Dont let me eat for a few days, tell me its just so you can throw me around easily

Write degrading things all over me, make me go out with it on

Help me take baths and randomly hold me under water while I squirm

Don't let me breathe until I make you cum

Make me dress so that I feel exposed everyday

Don't let me talk for several days

Make me sign a contract to be completely free use for you

Make me sleep on the floor unless I've earned it

Make me clean the toilet with my mouth, shove my head in and piss on me when I'm done

I make you dinner every night but I dont get to eat unless you leave some leftovers for me

Get mad at me for not being wet all the time

Brainwash me so I'm completely obedient ❤️I'm open to more suggestions of course!❤️

how do you help your submissives when they don’t mentally feel okay? my submissive told me the other day that she has been going through rather larger anxiety spirals, and i feel like im not doing much to help her… without discussing too much detail and exposing your own subs which i doubt you’d ever do that to them, what are other ways that i can support her and help her without making her feel stupid and silly?

-Dom

This is absolutely the biggest challenge of a typical D/s relationship, and one I have struggled with many times over the years. This is always going to depend on the specifics of your sub and your relationship, but for me the thing that has really worked is consistency.

In my experience the thing that draws a sub to this lifestyle is a desire for structure. We live in a complex and confusing world, and that can lead to a lot of stress and confusion. We all crave purpose in our lives, we seek to find meaning to our existence. In a properly structured dynamic the sub finds purpose in serving their Dom, and the Dom finds purpose in guiding and nurturing their sub.

When my girls are particularly stressed, they rely on me to be the constant in their life. The one they can depend on, the one who can carry the extra load. Sometimes that is the best we can do for them. I know how hard it is to help a sub that is struggling with anxiety and depression, particularly because so much of that fight happens in their head. In those time I have worked to provide for them. To cook, to take on extra chores, that kind of thing. More importantly, I have tried to be present. I am not typically pushy or nosy, but I am always there with an open door when they are ready. I make sure they know that, and sometimes that means I have to give them time to process on their own. That can be the hardest thing to do of all when you just want to fix everything for them.

I'd also recommend finding things that bring them comfort, even if small. A stuffed animal, a favorite show, an especially fluffy blanket, a favorite meal. Little things like that can make a big difference.

Patience is also important, these kinds of issues take time. Healing is not easy and it is rarely in a straight line. There will be good days and bad days, relapses, but there will also be victories in time. Make sure your sub knows that struggling with anxiety doesn't make them broken or unloved, it just makes them human.

Good luck, and thank you for your question.

Getting a firm no from my Dominant after I’ve been getting a lot of leniencies lately is always a bit of a shock.

A surge of feelings goes through me at first. There is the surprise and then a bit of indignation and annoyance. I sit in bewilderment because I was most definitely expecting him to allow me to do what I wanted. I whine a bit and push to see if the invisible boundary will move some. It doesn’t. It’s rock solid. A no is a no.

All of the emotions associated with resentment start to fade and instead leave feelings of safety and contentment. There is still structure and lines I cannot cross. He is still in control and any leniency I’ve been given lately has been his choice. He can tell me no and I have to listen whether I like it or not…but deep down, I always like it. My submissive nature is always stronger than whatever little want I may have yearned for at the time. I feel settled.

First… This is a fantastic fantasy. I think this fantasy amazing.

—-

However, I think it is important to occasionally address and explain the differences between fantasy and actual BDSM practice.

Given the “regular world” facing nature of Tumblr (this is not occurring in a closed community setting where everyone understands the nature of kink and feminism’s role in it.) I do feel compelled to occasionally use a fantasy post as an opportunity to explain things to the regular public facing world.

Feminism (the inherent state of equality between all people regardless of gender) is the basic mechanism for all actual BDSM practices.

It is only from the state of equality that any person can choose to experience a “lesser” position in relation to their partner(s). Any other activity is abuse and is not any form of actual Dominance and submission.

Having a fantasy about abuse is absolutely normal. Fantasies are an important element of determining what types of practice to pursue.

Turning a fantasy about abuse into an actual sexual practice, however, requires everyone’s understanding that the person submitting is equal in all ways, and will always be equal to the Dominant. What is being agreed to is a suspension of disbelief, where the submissive and the Dominant are able to set aside that reality of equality and practice within an alternate agreed upon energy exchange structure instead.

The submissive can always end this at any time and for any reason.

Fantasy is the fuel for choosing a practice. Then you get to enjoy practices where you explore living inside the fantasies.

I need a male friend who only see me as an object. He would start slow training me, at first just simple touches on my shoulders or brushing my arms, then progressing further and further the more i get used to. Pushing into my butt from behind when i bend down “as a joke”, “accidentally” brushing his hands against my chest, making more and more suggestive comments regarding my body and clothing. Until he eventually conditions me into being a cock whore for him and all his friends as the mock me for once thinking woman and men are equal and once believing in stupid things like feminism.

I always try 😏😏😏

I love non-sexual signs of submission as much I love sexual ones.

Kneel for me, moan for me, beg to cum. After all, you look gorgeous on your knees pleading.

But also lay your head on my lap while we watch something, wear my clothes out, perform little acts of service just to show me how much you care.

After all, my claim over you isn’t just in the bedroom, so why should your services to me end there?

You go too long without practice and your mind strays deep into the shame of your failure to become better.

When the time comes for you to perform you lack focus, skill, and self control. The depraved pornographic imagery and stories your cunt craves embarrasses you in no small part because of instantly it makes you wet, and how easily it makes you cum.

You’ve watched women getting off on being drugged. Gangfucked in dirty public bathrooms. Toilet licking whores getting ass fucked while prettier women hold their faces in the piss water. Brides crawling down the aisle having been collared in a ceremony before her friends and family. You have watched women slap and spank themselves. Write words of self degradation on their bodies only to turn on their camera for an anonymous audience who encourages her to fuck herself on her bedpost in aroused desperation. Public displays of women enthusiastically obeying their owners demands that they hand over their panties to strangers. Orgies of people fucking in nightclubs for swingers. You have watched women suck and fuck horse cocks until they cum all over their faces and inside them.

You have imagined yourself lead, leashed by the collar to the center of a gangbang of strangers. Load after load of cum being dumped into your aching and well used ass and pussy. Smeared across your face. Swallowing for any that will allow you to show your sincere appreciation for being used.

You excitedly watch as subs find and leap into the deep hole that their masters help them into and you want it to be you. By the time your undisciplined arousal looks you deep into the eye your orgasm has abated and your shame keeps you in hiding from the truth until next your craven need demands the filth that pushes you into blissful oblivion.

Practice under direct training so you don’t have to do anything but skillfully obey and develop ever more accurate anticipation of what he wants.

Does he get off on you crawling and licking his boots? Don’t confuse the fact that you want to do something with a mistaken belief that it is because he wants it. So, you want to be told to crawl and to lick his boots. He provides that to you as an opportunity for you to use what you like as a way to get and stay turned on while showing him your utter adoration and fully undivided attention. That serving him with your attention, adoration, and arousal is really what he wants. He wants to push you through challenges while you prove you can maintain yourself.

There it is. There is the practice.

Whatever it may be for you, use that brainstorming as a template to figure out what to do, how to do it, when to practice it, who to practice with, and most importantly WHY.

Beg l, while being sincerely adoring of him and his patience, for your partner/owner to give you another lesson, another chance to learn, a deeper discussion. Beg for the training you so obviously need. The training that will open up the doors for you to experience the kinks that make you cum in your fantasies.

Follow through.

Train.

Practice.

Support your partner/Dominant/owner’s efforts to teach you, to guide you, to liberate you from the societal lie that your sexual identity is to be hidden away when in fact what should be done is this:

Develop it.

Celebrate it.

Appreciate it.

Share it.

Embrace it.

Empower it.

Explore it.

PRACTICE IT.

Become ever more of the sexually adventurous story that gets you and your partner off.

Go to swing clubs. Create networks of new friends by becoming the fun people who are consistent about being at events where you can grow and practice your kinks. Practice between parties so your confidence is high. Let your partner contribute to the skills you learn so you are pleasing to each other. Support their kinks by manifesting and embodying those you can accept and embrace, and expect support from them for your own.

No parties like that around? Host them.

Figure it out. Priorities demand you embrace the time it takes to invest in creating the sexual adventures of your daydreams.

Be patient and consistent while your partner learns how to lead you. Teach and guide them toward what you need as part of your communication and practice.

Become a successful source of education and inspiration for each other and those who will follow behind you.

More than all of that, though, grow your relationship by delving deeply and consistently into the communication and trust required of these adventures together.

Love is an adventure, and you are entitled to experience the sex life you dream up together.

So much about Dominance and submission is simply about negotiating and implementing small behaviors that reinforce these roles and deepen access to enthusiasm for the energy exchange.

Always on my best behavior for daddy 😊