Work Together On Lists Like This So The Items Better Reflect What He Considers To Be Proper And Enjoyable

a LOT of kink content on tumblr is fantasy and does not reflect what kink should actually be like. it is totally ok to be turned on by these fantasies and it's good to incorporate them into your sex life in safe ways. however a lot of the hot hardcore kink scenarios that make it seem like everything was spontaneous are not necessarily lying to you, but they are leaving out the "before" part. kink requires a LOT of discussion and communication. you should not forsake this part of kink because you wanna get to sex immediately because the before and after of kink are just as important, if not more, than the during.

Choosing IS feminism.

Why are we cursed with such an ignorant population of men so desperate to control women that they reveal their stupidity on the topic of women with such relentless enthusiasm…

Yes Daddy 🤤💜

“Dd/lg is p*dophilia”

A statement I am sure we have all heard enough times to cause anger, frustration, or shame. So here’s how I explain it when the need for explanation is called up.

Dd/lg is a power dynamic based in the world of BDSM. Power dynamics no matter what format or genre they may take, have one common thread (which is what makes it kink) the willingness of one party to give up their normal reign on power to another party for that parties pleasure. Whatever form it takes, it is the submission through roleplay that makes a kink, kink.

Pet play seems to be more wildly accepted so let’s dissect that as a way to dissect DD/lg.

In pet play a person is willingly giving up their power (human rights and responsibility) so another can have total control. They are also interacting with items that are not, “for them”. If I throw a sick for a person I will be turned on by the fact that the person is willing to give up their human privilege and go fetch the stick. It is not the act of fetch itself or the stick itself which brings gratification; it is the fact that an adult human is degrading themselves to a level of power that is lower than their real power. 

 If I play fetch with an actual dog, as fetch is a normal activity for a dog. There is no relinquishing of power between me and my dog. So I am simply just playing fetch, not encountering be*stiality. (gross). Therefore the throwing of the stick and it’s s*xual nature comes from the fact it is an adult human giving up their right to be an adult human. Not the stick or the act of fetch.

Dd/lg is the same thing. It is a power dynamic where one party gives up their rights to adult power. So when I see an adult in a onesie playing with toys my s*xual intrigue is peaked by the fact that the action is not one that an adult normally partakes in. I am excited by the human interacting with the object in a way that shows their relinquishment of power. I am not excited by the onesie itself. 

If a child interacted with a toy like children do, it’s simply that. A child with a toy. Just like a dog with a stick. There is nothing intriguing about the toy, the stick, the onesie, or the act of fetch. The intrigue comes from an ADULT consenting to giving power over to another adult. So dd/lg could never be p*dophilia. 

The negotiations for what a sub wants really are the starting point for discussions.

Does the sub want to be owned?

How often do they want their state of being owned to be presented into their daily lives?

What nuances do they prefer for their own direct pleasure and what do they accept for the pleasure of their owner?

What does the sub need to experience and how often do they need to experience it for the ownership arrangement to be a fulfilling interest?

Do they want to derive their own direct or indirect pleasure from what they do for their owner’s pleasure? How often? In what mix of each? Is it every time they perform an act for his pleasure? Never? Half the time? Etc.

When they are not receiving direct pleasure how do they want to be made to feel while servicing their owner’s pleasure? Does feeling safe or feeling scared matter? Does feeling appreciated or discardable matter? Does feeling praised or denigrated matter?

Does experiencing certain traditionally “negative” social elements of service give them indirect pleasure such as feelings of objectification/degradation/humiliation/meanness/abuse etc… Do they require simultaneously supportive elements from your owner?

Aftercare is essential for both owners and submissives. Aftercare establishes a return to the relationship’s underlying grounding point. The neutral place where care for each other is the essential truth and from which each of you understands the roles you are choosing to play and can speak about them honestly.

Discovering what areas of life are and are not subject to ownership and submission is part of the journey. Sometimes there are things that you’ll want to add or remove. Trying things for a while and then shifting them to suit your goals as your experience grows and changes together is one of the most essential pleasures of practicing BDSM.

When I say I want to be a submissive little wife, this is what I mean:

I want to be talked down to, humiliated and babied.

I want to ask permission, be told no and have my wants controlled by my husband.

I want to be scolded and corrected and told how to behave.

I want to be put over my man’s lap and spanked like a child until I beg and cry.

I want to be owned and obedient in every sense.

I want to be his, to use and shape however he wants.

You should be very actively seeking out ways to train yourself into easier and more frequent access to arousal within your submission. Self directed practice is essential.

Your headspace is your responsibility, but what does that mean?

Practice accessing and identifying your subspace pathways on your own and…

Communicate how that access can be supported so you can…

Practice accessing them with your partner.

Deepen and prolong your experiences in subspace through solo practice, communication, and more time spent working together.

“Yes, Master”

“Yes, Master” 

Two small words.  One giant effect.  

Relinquishing control,  feeling the release, the rush, the relief, as each care,  each choice, each burden melts away.

Calm, serene, euphoric. A lifetime of ingrained independence,  gone.  No drama, no rebellion, no complications,  no regrets.

Just submission, clean, clear, pure, perfect.  As it was meant to be. As He demands.  As I offer.

“Yes, Master”

And I obey.

© reflectedtruthsblog 2017

Oftentimes it is necessary for a submissive to find the point in their daily life identity, where it breaks apart so that they can be free of it.

This is generally experienced by the submissive as a/the starting point of the exploration of their submission.

Because this has to happen EVERY time they transition from daily-life-space into subspace, it is important to consistently answer frequently practice things that make the transition faster and easier.

Having specific activities (that are consented to in advance for maintenance) as activating triggers that their Dominant partner can control becomes an essential part of the submissive’s needed energy demands. Without it, finding one’s way into subspace is often encountered as a daunting or even impossible thing to achieve.

The essential key is having a consistent practice where consent and power is given over to the dominant partner to enforce for the purpose of maintenance. Maintenance to the access path into subspace. Not every maintenance event requires that subspace be reached, only that the energy of the pathway is being maintained in consistent, frequent, specific, and incremental ways.

The sub’s essential responsibility is to support letting their mind move toward or along the path of their submission. The path where down it lies more and more elements of their subspace. That is what they are to do during all of these maintenance events. That’s all. That is the whole point and full scope of the basic responsibility. Every maintenance activity should be chosen specifically to support this specific purpose.

Emptying away the daily-life-space from what fills the mind is the most common part of a maintenance practice. The specific verbal trappings / signs / systems / lexicon, etc… that support you in breaking that apart so you can move through it onto the path of your subspace will vary from person to person and sometimes from one activity to another, or vary between repetitions of the same activity.

Give Grace and allow the language and trappings not to become an obstacle. The deeper point is more important than the words used to describe it. Try your best to navigate around the words and let them go when the wrong ones are chosen.

For some submissives or activities it is more important for the language to be bold and for others it needs to be more subtle. For some it needs to be exaggerated/extreme and for others it needs to be more nuanced and realistic.

I will use maintenance spankings as the activity and here are some examples of the language that might be used to separate the daily-life-space from the path toward subspace:

I’m better when I’m empty headed

Spankings wash the day away

Bimbos don’t think

I serve my [Owner]

Brains are for [Owners]

[Focus on breathing and visualizing]

Owner’s [belt] reminds me what I am

Owner’s spankings help me see myself

Etc…

There can be a scenario that goes along with the maintenance spankings. For example, maybe you are perpetually auditioning for the part of your [Owner’s] good girl and Owner spanks you while discussing different, future subspace experiences or tasks to see whether Owner thinks you’d do well in that experience.

Etc…

Whatever it is, remember, the language itself isn’t the point. That the language is something you decided on because you at the time felt it would be supportive of your access to the pathway toward your subspace is the point. Sometimes the language will just be wrong, and that is true even if it worked well the last time. Don’t let yourself get stuck on that when it inevitably happens. Again, a maintenance activity like a spanking isn’t intended to send you into subspace. It could occasionally happen, but that isn’t its purpose.

So, empty your head, precious little one. Your owner has some places to remind you about. Places where your needy and wet. Places where the worship fills you with obedience and craving. Places where the pain becomes pleasure. Places where the disgusting becomes essential. Places where the more degrading humiliating it is the deeper your pleasure. Places where the idea of it coming to an end disappears because time has bent and the whole universe exists in what I allow your tongue to touch.

You are my brave and deeply appreciated wife.

Come, bend over while I begin reminding you of the pleasures that exist because of the focusing stripes of pain my belt brings to your mind.

Let your daily mind space melt away.

Become empty of all those things.

Enjoy the life of an adventurer on the path of your submission, and allow me to lead you on a never ending journey guided by your need to worship at my altar.

Let your mind go.