Your Headspace Is Your Responsibility, But What Does That Mean?

Work on a list of names that appeal to him for you to be called by him, his friends, your friends, and yourself.

Names to call it

Abuse whore Asslicker Bitch Bloody stinking mess Bootlicker Braindead set of warm holes Cocksocket Cocktrough Cockwhore Cumdump Cumrag Cunt Cuntface Cuntslime Dogfucker Dumb animal Dumbass Entertainment for Men Filthy pig Fleshlight Fuckface Fuckhole Fuckmeat Fuckpig Fucktoy Fucktunnel Garbage Gutterslime Living toilet paper Pathetic idiot Pig Pissmop Prey Property Punching bag Rapemeat Retard Shit-for-brains Skank Slut Spitbucket Stupid bitch Torturemeat Trash Ugly gash Urinal Useless lump of flesh Wet-pussy bimbo Whore Worthless piece of shit Breeding mare Spittoon Hormone monkey Tit clown Sewer Waste-of-space Fuckservice Spermcontainer Shit bag Humiliation toy Cock sheath Entertainment unit Clit clown Fleshlight

Addendums if you want to make verbal abuse more verbal: …with a pulse …with a breath …on two legs …aka female …formerly known as <its name here>

The essence of Dominance....💜

A good example of an entry-level severity, no-count paddle spanking

An after bath spanking for a naughty girl to make sure she pays attention at work.

“Dd/lg is p*dophilia”

A statement I am sure we have all heard enough times to cause anger, frustration, or shame. So here’s how I explain it when the need for explanation is called up.

Dd/lg is a power dynamic based in the world of BDSM. Power dynamics no matter what format or genre they may take, have one common thread (which is what makes it kink) the willingness of one party to give up their normal reign on power to another party for that parties pleasure. Whatever form it takes, it is the submission through roleplay that makes a kink, kink.

Pet play seems to be more wildly accepted so let’s dissect that as a way to dissect DD/lg.

In pet play a person is willingly giving up their power (human rights and responsibility) so another can have total control. They are also interacting with items that are not, “for them”. If I throw a sick for a person I will be turned on by the fact that the person is willing to give up their human privilege and go fetch the stick. It is not the act of fetch itself or the stick itself which brings gratification; it is the fact that an adult human is degrading themselves to a level of power that is lower than their real power. 

 If I play fetch with an actual dog, as fetch is a normal activity for a dog. There is no relinquishing of power between me and my dog. So I am simply just playing fetch, not encountering be*stiality. (gross). Therefore the throwing of the stick and it’s s*xual nature comes from the fact it is an adult human giving up their right to be an adult human. Not the stick or the act of fetch.

Dd/lg is the same thing. It is a power dynamic where one party gives up their rights to adult power. So when I see an adult in a onesie playing with toys my s*xual intrigue is peaked by the fact that the action is not one that an adult normally partakes in. I am excited by the human interacting with the object in a way that shows their relinquishment of power. I am not excited by the onesie itself. 

If a child interacted with a toy like children do, it’s simply that. A child with a toy. Just like a dog with a stick. There is nothing intriguing about the toy, the stick, the onesie, or the act of fetch. The intrigue comes from an ADULT consenting to giving power over to another adult. So dd/lg could never be p*dophilia. 

Something I commonly see that isn’t explained with enough frequency is hypnokink and adjacent ideas regarding the “blank” mind-state.

There are a variety of approaches to subspace, subdrop, and the practices that make those elements more accessible. One of the most common is the idea of some form of letting go of the entrapments of one’s day-to day anxieties and social demands. The “ego-death” pathway that is part of self-development pathways such as mindfulness, contemplative engagement, and other growth practices.

Some practitioners extoll the benefits of substance use to facilitate the rigidity relaxing state through things like alcohol, but alcohol creates a set of problems related to self-esteem reduction and being an intrinsic obstacle to personal ownership of one’s subspace/subdrop experiences and practices.

More healthy, helpful, and sustainable are the self-discipline based practices that support access to subspace as part of a healthy personal growth and development practices like meditation, repetition, and dedication.

For most there is an external support structure preferred either because it has proven to be needed due to one obstacle or another. Maybe self-discipline is the challenge or it could be that intrusive thoughts make a totally solo-practice too difficult to initiate. A myriad of reasons can make a solo practice challenging, including those and other examples or even simply because the enjoyment is tethered to being partnered in the pursuit and practice. (We are social creatures after all.)

Understanding that you have an obstacle and need a path that manages and supports your practice in overcoming it is an essential part of doing the work.

That gets us back around to an oft overlooked aspect of the work with an external source of assistance. Whether it is a Dom/sub relationship partner or a generically presented/broadcast blog poster, etc… an external source will often guide you to a state of “mindlessness.” Being “blank.” Or other reductionist place.

The idea here being that just like when you take a breath, there is always a paused and potentiated space between the inward and the outward breaths. A blank moment at every peak and valley where all things are possible while no thing is being actuated. A channel of potential for any thing. This is a mindless space where nothing fills the horizon and every thing remains still and filled with potential.

Holding that space is a practice. Accepting another’s guidance (whether with your intention, their intention, or a negotiated intention developed by you both) is a practice.

Accessing subspace and/or subdrop is only made easier and deeper through conscious participation in some form of practice that supports it.

Some kinks fetishize a submissive remaining in some element of that state or a directly adjacent state. For example: “bimbo,” “pet,” or “doll” objectification kinks overtly reduce a person into this state and leave them there as they become a channel for service. A “Bimbo” kink might commonly combine the channel with hyper accentuated happiness from the simplicity of not being burdened with responsibilities beyond being a Bimbo. A “Pet” kink might commonly combine the channel with hyper accentuated enthusiasm for service and/or a need for training. A “Doll” kink might hyper accentuate ability to remain deeply in the channel itself. (I present these as common but not exclusive examples.)

Suspension of disbelief is another element that supports access to the channel. You allow yourself full belief that you DO deserve that punishment. That you SHOULD be given that belt spanking. That you ARE excited about being a cumdump. That you WILL be happier while being displayed in a tiny little dress. That you DO want strangers to grope you on the dance floor. That greeting guests on your knees and offering them your mouth IS the best way to host a party. That you ARE a good girl if you swallow. That your wet pussy IS consent. That obedience IS the pathway to your personal pleasure. Etc… In suspension of disbelief or any other practice like this where societal norms, self esteem challenges, intrusive thoughts, or other obstacles get in the way of accessing that state of belief there is a bridge needed. The bridge is that pause between breaths. That channel in between what is currently occurring and what will be occurring after the bridge is traversed. Practicing access to the channel will identify the best ways for you and your obstacles to find your way to the channel.

One more item I’d like to discuss is Hypno-kink which also engages the elements of this bridge to a mindless/blank channel while accentuating an adjacent consensual non-consent element. It is a practice where suspension of disbelief is something you empower to be activated by another person on your behalf.

For many, the mindless space is not the end goal, but a transitional space one passes through on their way from one mental state (where it may be difficult to self direct into a subspace channel) into another mental state where subspace is actualized. This is the nature of the adjacent kinks being prevalent elements that accompany this part of a bdsm practice.

Is it really, really gross and outside of many sub’s boundaries to be used as an ashtray?

Absolutely.

However, that isn’t the point of presenting this video as an instructional example.

This is an extremely good video for EVERY sub to watch on repeat as part of understanding what processing looks like.

There are a lot of kinds of processing, but processing disgust is one of the most important because disgust is one of the top obstacles a submissive is likely to face along their path of growth and development. (Pain processing, jealousy processing, humiliation processing, degradation processing, self acceptance processing, and obedience processing are a few of the other obstacle strewn areas where growth through processing is required for success.

This video/scenario gets to the very heart of a purposeful D/s practice. As a Dominant, I find watching a submissive accept their Dominant’s guidance and to then process through a difficult obstacle successfully to be incredibly arousing.

If your disgust reaction is too strong, you may need to watch it and desensitize until you can overcome your disgust and clearly see the power she manifests as she processes through being an ashtray. Dominants, watch the way he supports her through patience and clear communication. You can hear in his tone that he believes in her ability to focus her power and succeed.

This is what healthy D/s practice looks like. Study it and communicate with each other about how to accomplish this sort of processing success for the obstacles that challenge you in your path.

My good girl, my ashtray, I'm going to smoke my Cuban cigar, open your mouth, I don't want to see a tear fall, the consequences could be much worse, and remember to always thank me 🖤

Someone asked to see our contract.