Work Out Examples Like This That He Asserts Are Proper Methods Of Service. If In Doubt, Show Him A List

Something I commonly see that isn’t explained with enough frequency is hypnokink and adjacent ideas regarding the “blank” mind-state.

There are a variety of approaches to subspace, subdrop, and the practices that make those elements more accessible. One of the most common is the idea of some form of letting go of the entrapments of one’s day-to day anxieties and social demands. The “ego-death” pathway that is part of self-development pathways such as mindfulness, contemplative engagement, and other growth practices.

Some practitioners extoll the benefits of substance use to facilitate the rigidity relaxing state through things like alcohol, but alcohol creates a set of problems related to self-esteem reduction and being an intrinsic obstacle to personal ownership of one’s subspace/subdrop experiences and practices.

More healthy, helpful, and sustainable are the self-discipline based practices that support access to subspace as part of a healthy personal growth and development practices like meditation, repetition, and dedication.

For most there is an external support structure preferred either because it has proven to be needed due to one obstacle or another. Maybe self-discipline is the challenge or it could be that intrusive thoughts make a totally solo-practice too difficult to initiate. A myriad of reasons can make a solo practice challenging, including those and other examples or even simply because the enjoyment is tethered to being partnered in the pursuit and practice. (We are social creatures after all.)

Understanding that you have an obstacle and need a path that manages and supports your practice in overcoming it is an essential part of doing the work.

That gets us back around to an oft overlooked aspect of the work with an external source of assistance. Whether it is a Dom/sub relationship partner or a generically presented/broadcast blog poster, etc… an external source will often guide you to a state of “mindlessness.” Being “blank.” Or other reductionist place.

The idea here being that just like when you take a breath, there is always a paused and potentiated space between the inward and the outward breaths. A blank moment at every peak and valley where all things are possible while no thing is being actuated. A channel of potential for any thing. This is a mindless space where nothing fills the horizon and every thing remains still and filled with potential.

Holding that space is a practice. Accepting another’s guidance (whether with your intention, their intention, or a negotiated intention developed by you both) is a practice.

Accessing subspace and/or subdrop is only made easier and deeper through conscious participation in some form of practice that supports it.

Some kinks fetishize a submissive remaining in some element of that state or a directly adjacent state. For example: “bimbo,” “pet,” or “doll” objectification kinks overtly reduce a person into this state and leave them there as they become a channel for service. A “Bimbo” kink might commonly combine the channel with hyper accentuated happiness from the simplicity of not being burdened with responsibilities beyond being a Bimbo. A “Pet” kink might commonly combine the channel with hyper accentuated enthusiasm for service and/or a need for training. A “Doll” kink might hyper accentuate ability to remain deeply in the channel itself. (I present these as common but not exclusive examples.)

Suspension of disbelief is another element that supports access to the channel. You allow yourself full belief that you DO deserve that punishment. That you SHOULD be given that belt spanking. That you ARE excited about being a cumdump. That you WILL be happier while being displayed in a tiny little dress. That you DO want strangers to grope you on the dance floor. That greeting guests on your knees and offering them your mouth IS the best way to host a party. That you ARE a good girl if you swallow. That your wet pussy IS consent. That obedience IS the pathway to your personal pleasure. Etc… In suspension of disbelief or any other practice like this where societal norms, self esteem challenges, intrusive thoughts, or other obstacles get in the way of accessing that state of belief there is a bridge needed. The bridge is that pause between breaths. That channel in between what is currently occurring and what will be occurring after the bridge is traversed. Practicing access to the channel will identify the best ways for you and your obstacles to find your way to the channel.

One more item I’d like to discuss is Hypno-kink which also engages the elements of this bridge to a mindless/blank channel while accentuating an adjacent consensual non-consent element. It is a practice where suspension of disbelief is something you empower to be activated by another person on your behalf.

For many, the mindless space is not the end goal, but a transitional space one passes through on their way from one mental state (where it may be difficult to self direct into a subspace channel) into another mental state where subspace is actualized. This is the nature of the adjacent kinks being prevalent elements that accompany this part of a bdsm practice.

Choosing Obedience can have many reasons. Making your partner (“Daddy” honorific in the above case) proud is a very common reason, although there are others. Whatever motivates you, Obedience in a BDSM relationship is only possible from a starting position of equality. This is the relevance of feminism in BDSM. No person can truly submit their power to another if they did not start from a position of equality.

The current wave of anti-feminism in “bdsm” blogs isn’t BDSM at all. It is just a self aggrandizing abuse fantasy, almost universally advanced by men with a sadism fetish and no real world way to explore their want for a relationship of any kind. Their fantasy and loneliness leads them to self-delude that they can espouse a philosophy of abusing a person into submission. They delusionally think they can coerce and/or threaten a person sufficiently to create a relationship that is rewarding to them. They’re criminally violent in their abuse fantasies and there’s no place for them in this society except in a therapist’s office.

While the state of abuser blogs remains such a high concentration, there really is no place for the public display of any undisclaimed anti-feminism kink in public facing spaces like Tumblr.

Having rules that work for everyone is always a good way to frame romantic sexual obedience

mercy has a rule that I put in place years ago that states when I ask to see her tits she will show them to me as soon as she can. mercy sent me this one from work 2 minutes after I requested it.

Isn't she such a good girl?

The energy flow of kink can help motivate things beyond your sex lives.

The essence of Dominance....💜

Only idiots and abusers fail to support feminism.

Idiots because they fail to understand it and abusers because they’re too incompetent to actually earn a woman’s trust.

Feminism is THE one and only mechanism by which actual submission is possible. When you argue against this fact you reveal very clearly whether you are an idiot or an abuser, or (as is oftentimes the case) both.

Let me make this perfectly clear

Am I deep down a feminist who just has kinky fantasies? 

NO! 

I reject that shit completely.  

Equality is an absurd lie.  Women should only worry about supporting and pleasing Men.  

Our job is to cook, clean, lick, suck, suffer and bear children.  We will lick your ass and drink your piss, but PLEASE do not try to treat us as equals!  

Ladies, who is with me on this? 

Signs of a fantastic Dom

We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom

They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went

They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether you’re in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE

Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)

They aren’t afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive

Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but it’s not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun “add on”, but it’s NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).

They are concerned for your safety, but don’t overdo it. They want you safe, but don’t take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.

They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (”skeletons in your closest”), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just don’t feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesn’t need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where you’ve been, etc.)

They trust you. A Dom who doesn’t trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.

When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a “me against you” style argument (”I WON THE ARGUMENT”, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements

They respect your hard limits. Doms know hard limits don’t mean “convince me”. They know to stay the fuck away from hard limits with a ten foot freaking pole.

Anyone who is not a feminist is not practicing Dominance and submission.

Feminism (the understanding that all people are inherently entitled to equal rights and justice) is the ONLY mechanism by which a woman can participate in submission. Without a starting point of mutually recognized equality a woman is not capable of exercising submission, and she has only the ability to accept and accommodate her own abuse at the hands of someone who (it seems most commonly) was incapable of earning her actual submission.

Only poorly informed people promote or support one person having an innate and unearned right to hold power over another person.

I’m so happy I finally made a tumblr for accepting my place. I used to just look at so many good accounts but never follow, but I couldn’t stop looking. I’m still learning what I like and still consider myself a feminist I appreciate any help!

Vacuous and ignorant use of multiple fallacies is a typical form of self defense for those needing to pretend they have a biological right above others as a mask for their lack of ability to earn it.

The “bounces off of me and sticks to you” rebuttal from this oddly flailing patriarchy blog is just a little icing on the cake of the deflective and self absorbed dysfunction inherent in patriarchy obsessed nonsense peddlers.

Make it make sense…