Anyone Who Is Not A Feminist Is Not Practicing Dominance And Submission.

Sometimes a lesson that is very simple just doesn’t get properly understood by your submissive. A variety of approaches can still leave you unsatisfied with the submissive’s sincerity or depth of personal effort.

Shifting around from praise as a technique to exercising greater/total control over the submissive can sometimes shock their thought process into understanding and growing past a plateau in their service’s growth.

Escalated and more severe measures sometimes are necessary, and for praise focused practices it can provide a necessary jolt.

Forced positioning so the content of the lesson itself is the sole point of focus can be one helpful technique.

🇨🇦𝛂♂

Your body must be rested and fed if you wish to be a pervert.

I’m not going to name the original author of this as I don’t know them personally and feel like calling them out is not necessary. Very often these kinds of posts are just poorly wrought fantasy scenarios where advance consent for a consensual non-consent experience and I see no need to hash that when the point I am making doesn’t require devolving along that irrelevant and argumentative line of discussion.

I am going to rebut the content because it is essential that we remember that BDSM on Tumblr is not a closed and in-community space.

The original post:

My rebuttal:

I am lately trying to give the benefit of the doubt to people who post things like this and assume they are just presenting a fantasy scenario they have a kink for, however this sort of content is important to not just leave floating in the world framed as a legitimate example of any sort of BDSM practice.

People can of course choose to fantasize about rape dynamics all they want, but it is important to occasionally remind people that Tumblr is a public facing space (not an in-community space) and it is never appropriate to publicly pretend to educate people (the original blog name suggests they are a blog for informing people on BDSM topics) by using scenarios where safewords are not allowed or where they will be ignored and not respected.

Submissives deserve more representation for their role and the rights and responsibilities they have in exploring the depths of their role.

This original post is not informative as BDSM training other than as it serves to be an example to subs in how to identify fake dominants.

The use of demanding and colorful phrasing is of course good in trying to trigger a sub’s fantasy-based sexual energy and then to manipulate a triggered sub into falsely believing that if they participate they are then ultimately at fault for the subsequent rape and abuse that is inflicted by the fake Doms who actually think this is a valid BDSM experience.

100% of the originally stated experience can be completely manifest and explored within a responsible framework where the sub has the power to stop the experience with a safeword.

If a Dom requires there be no safeword then they simply and irrefutably lack the skill and competency to function as a Dominant are instead of developing those basic skills they are choosing to harm subs while shifting the blame for that harm onto the sub.

How and why is this true?

A Dominant is a person who guides the submissive into and through experiences the Dominant thinks the submissive needs to have in pursuit of whatever training goals have been mutually agreed to in advance. (This can, of course, include having CNC experiences.)

All of this occurs while the sub is safe and properly cared for so that they are not inadvertently subjected to emotional or physical abuse and trauma that leaves them less whole at the end of their experience more whole (or at the very least on a mutually agreed path to being more whole), which is the only way any BDSM scenario should ever end. Anything else is not part of the BDSM community and is emotionally and/or physically abusive.

The safeword provides the submissive a constant state of awareness that they retain the power to make any experience pause/redirect or stop entirely.

Keeping that power in the submissive’s hands is the mechanism by which the Dominant navigates the sub through their needed experiences. Breaking through a sub’s unwanted boundaries and obstacles is done by working inside the boundaries until the Dominant helps the sub release or cross the boundary willingly.

Even where the suspension of disbelief is so strong they feel they cannot use their safeword, the sub still has a safeword they can use and if there are ever any signs of harm should be checked on by the Dominant before moving forward.

It is a Dominant’s responsibility to check in when a boundary is being dismantled to make sure the submissive wants to continue to experience that boundary’s dissolution. The sub has the power to stop moving forward, but the Dominant has guided them to a point where they can successfully break down the obstacle.

That is what being a Dominant actually looks like and that is why real BDSM Dominance is always 100% safeword dependent.

The safeword is THE SINGLE TOOL that makes a BDSM scenario capable of progressing through a submissive’s chosen challengeable / changeable boundaries responsibly. It is, of course, a given that they will have boundaries that cannot be challenged or changed and the Dominant must not approach those off limits boundaries.

Any “Dominant” who says otherwise is just an abuser with poorly developed interpersonal skills who cannot actually guide a submissive into and through a BDSM experience. They are just someone who wants to get off abusing someone while being able to blame them if it doesn’t go how the sub wanted or needed it to go.

These facts are not open to debate or discussion.

Sometimes there will be elements of your practice while training that will include elements of conditioning.

Conditioned responses are perfectly normal. Part of a training practice.

Practice sometimes isn’t simply about repetition. Yes, practice can be about repetition and only about repetition in order to improve a skill. However, sometimes the development of a skill isn’t the only purpose of the practice. Sometimes improvement of the skill is important, but that improvement needs to also include a shift in the way you relate to and think about whatever you are practicing.

In order for a practice to accomplish those goals within your training, oftentimes it is important to change the way your mind relates to the thing being practiced.

That part is usually where conditioning occurs.

It might be conditioning to become more resilient to intrusive negative thoughts about what you imagine others might be thinking about you.

It might be conditioning to become more aroused from performing the activity itself.

It might be conditioning to express more appreciation or to express appreciation in a different way than you have previously thought was the best way to do it.

It might be conditioning to make access into your subspace through the practice easier.

There are a lot of different kinds of conditioning. Those are just a few examples that came to mind.

The point here is that acceptance of conditioning as an essential element of submission and that practice which includes conditioning is commonly an important element of training.

Enjoy it.

Do you actually have kids? You said you don't want any more. How do you manage your relationship dynamic around having a family?

Yes we do. We make sure we keep all dynamic stuff away from the kids, and just have to wait until they’re in bed or not home to do anything sexual. It makes it harder and it puts limits on what you can realistically do but we make it work.

Someone asked to see our contract.

I always try 😏😏😏

“Yes, Master”

“Yes, Master” 

Two small words.  One giant effect.  

Relinquishing control,  feeling the release, the rush, the relief, as each care,  each choice, each burden melts away.

Calm, serene, euphoric. A lifetime of ingrained independence,  gone.  No drama, no rebellion, no complications,  no regrets.

Just submission, clean, clear, pure, perfect.  As it was meant to be. As He demands.  As I offer.

“Yes, Master”

And I obey.

© reflectedtruthsblog 2017