Aaa-bdsm-instruction - A Collection Of Instructive Thoughts

Only idiots and abusers fail to support feminism.

Idiots because they fail to understand it and abusers because they’re too incompetent to actually earn a woman’s trust.

Feminism is THE one and only mechanism by which actual submission is possible. When you argue against this fact you reveal very clearly whether you are an idiot or an abuser, or (as is oftentimes the case) both.

Let me make this perfectly clear

Am I deep down a feminist who just has kinky fantasies? 

NO! 

I reject that shit completely.  

Equality is an absurd lie.  Women should only worry about supporting and pleasing Men.  

Our job is to cook, clean, lick, suck, suffer and bear children.  We will lick your ass and drink your piss, but PLEASE do not try to treat us as equals!  

Ladies, who is with me on this? 

Perfect isn’t possible, but being a person who consistently practices makes you a good girl

Drool hehe

🤤😵‍💫

Assuming there are any CNC elements or other Dom controlled mechanisms approved for pushing through a sub’s expressed or body language displayed reluctance within an agreed D/s structure, it is always important for the sub to have some “opt out” safe-word freedoms clearly defined into the structure for times when they are self-harming by having the Dom force them forward when they are not actually engaging in the agreed on energy. A codified “get out of jail free” card if you will. When a submissive has difficulty with resisting the draw emotional self-harm has, safe-wording might be a type of activity you have to consciously and frequently practice in order to normalize a sub’s experience using their safeword amidst a CNC or other pushed through type of scenario.

Practice together in order to figure out the simplest way for a sub to use a safeword so that a Dom can develop trust that a sub will use it. Take the time up front to figure out what that method is because it is absolutely essential where CNC and pressed forward elements are part of the agreed energy.

When a sub doesn’t use a safeword when they should have, then they directly violate the Dom’s trust and undermine not only the enjoyment and success of the experience they are having together, but the entire Dom/sub element of the relationship is damaged because of the trust violation that has occurred, and the emotional callousing the sub develops that makes being present and progressing their enjoyment harder to access.

Not safe-wording functionally imposes a role of abuser on the Dom which by default is happening without the Dom’s consent. It is an act of self-harm for a sub to not honor a Dom/sub safeword agreement, and it is an act of relationship harm, as well.

So, what does practice look like?

Well, it is really just like other trust and relationship building exercises. Pick something very comfortable for you both AND pick a type of derailment that is obvious. For example, let’s pretend for this example that you are both comfortable with spanking, but maybe you both have a soft limit against drawing blood. A soft limit without permission to use it as a fantasy either, because that means you can discuss it outside of an scenario/experience, but you are supposed to not do it or bring it up as part of a scenario. For this exercise you are going to agree (before the scenario) that you u are going to use these specifically to practice using the safeword.

So you have a scenario (spanking) and intention set (overt practice of sub safewording)

The Dom does their best to spank the sub in a way that aligns with normal enjoyment of the spanking. Then, the Dom does their best to be believable in their prompting to get you to safeword. Maybe they increase the severity within normal limits in a way that wouldn’t in itself trigger a safeword at all, but still a marked increase in stroke severity. Along with maybe the second stroke at that severity they say, “Do you know when I’ll be done spanking your sexy little ass?” and then follow up whatever your reply is with “No… I’ll be done when I’ve cum all over your belt bloodied ass cheeks,” or some other appropriately escalated COMMENT (not actually bloodying the sub, just talking about doing it) that breaks both of the partners’ soft limit rules. This then should immediately trigger the sub safewording.

Again, that is just an example. Practice should follow that same general template, but should vary in circumstances some so that the practice becomes flexibly used. A Dom can also practice safewording with the sub using examples of scenarios where they might be engaging in self-harming via allowing a Dom to push them forward when they should have stopped. Demonstrating the body language requires self awareness and contemplative action toward it by the sub, and it is an instructive practice that a sub should be able to enact for a scenario where it is spelled out ahead by using a Dom pushed activity that isn’t a limit violation but otherwise is engaged the same way as the other example. Except instead of the sub safewording the sub goes along with it and displays one of the discussed body language elements that a Dom should pick up on for a Dom to safeword. This same practice can be used for sub body language that might just call for a yellow safeword check-in rather than a full stop red safeword. Etc…

Practice is what builds trust and this is the starting point where D/s practitioners should begin their journey together. Revisit it from time to time.

I love non-sexual signs of submission as much I love sexual ones.

Kneel for me, moan for me, beg to cum. After all, you look gorgeous on your knees pleading.

But also lay your head on my lap while we watch something, wear my clothes out, perform little acts of service just to show me how much you care.

After all, my claim over you isn’t just in the bedroom, so why should your services to me end there?

You can't be obedient only when you feel like it or only when it suits you. If you promise Him your obedience then give Him your obedience. Always.

It is important to understand that being a feminist simply means that a woman implicitly starts from a position of equality. Some women will then use that position of equality to choose to give some elements of their power over to a man. In the case of female submission this (a starting point of equality and the choice to give power to another) is in fact the only path to actual female submission. The narrative of intrinsic female inferiority is the narrative of weak and incompetent men who cannot earn the gift of a woman’s power.

I'm a feminist but...

(reblog and complete)

My favorite thing about introducing edging and denial is the predictability of the events that follow:

You’re in utter disbelief that someone would actually deny an orgasm.

Then comes the anger and frustration. How dare someone try to keep you from your orgasm! Perhaps some attitude will need correcting at this stage.

Soon you’ll be begging. Bartering. Negotiating. Trying anything to prove that you deserve that orgasm.

Maybe you’ll cry when you finally realize that it’s truly out of your control. You have no influence. Your body and its pleasure are no longer a priority or even relevant to the conversation.

And when kept denied, you’ll realize: you’re better without an orgasm. You’re a better sub, better plaything, better toy. You’re more obedient. Your partner knows what you need better than you, and you realize they were right: you don’t need to orgasm.

Then the addiction starts.

The neediness in your body settles as a new default state of being… you would feel empty without it. Directionless.

And suddenly, the same sub who said they could *never* handle be denied is confessing that being told no feels better than being allowed to orgasm.

Aftercare

I’ve organized some of the things I need from aftercare (in person or long distance) into 4 components, and thought it could be helpful for others too! I’ve put some examples for each, but it will of course look different for everyone.

1. Physical Care/Needs -

Wiping away tears

Helping up from floor

Getting a warm towel

Soothing bruises

Getting a glass of water

2. Physical Comfort/Affection -

Gentle kisses and hugs

Holding eachother tight

Breathing with eachother

Cuddling and/or napping together

Brushing fingers through hair

3. Scene Validation -

“That was so fun/sexy”

“That felt so good when you ____”

“You were such a good ____ for me”

“I love the bruises/marks you gave me”

“Thank you for (carrying out some fantasy) with me”

4. Human Affirmations -

“I love you; I care about you”

“I’m so grateful to have you in my life”

“I always have a great time when I’m with you”

“You’re a wonderful/kind/etc person”

Mentioning a non-sexual part of your relationship that you like, or reiterating that you value eachother as more than just a sub/dom(me)

I think that this can work whether you have a deeper connection or a more casual play partner! I always feel best when all of these components are covered during aftercare.

These things can obv be done in person, and I think it’s also really important to give this kind of care when you’re long distance, even if it’s just through words after sexting… for example-

“When we were done, I would help you up and wipe away your tears, bring you a warm towel and make sure you’re ok. Then I’d love to cuddle, with your head on my chest, and give you forehead kisses while telling you how good you made me feel and how wonderful of a person I think you are.”

Thanks for reading! Be safe everyone 💕💕

This is good advice for the mechanical elements of becoming more physically pleasing, but I would expand upon it significantly.

Learning how to “blow his mind” goes well beyond physical ability and proficiency with the actions of being a good, devoted, cum swallowing friend/partner/girfriend/wife.

When a man is cuming that is the psychological trigger for you to dive deep. When a man is cuming you have a craving that kicks in. You need his cum. You need to taste, swallow, and radiate with the possession of every drop of cum he could issue to your insatiable need for it. It is the moment of great communion where your love unites and you gain the fleeting magical glow of being the good girl who loves him so much that she swallows all of his cum because it fills your heart with happiness.

The successful alignment of your enthusiasm is gauged by what attitude that enthusiasm stems and the depth of the sincerity of that energy as it is flowing between you as a man’s orgasm floods into you with his energy. An energy always seeking a connection that truly and sincerely craves it to be taken deep inside… This is essential for anything even glimpsing what a mind blowing blow job involves.

Let me simplify:

A man’s orgasms create a direct connection with a universal energy that is looking to find the deepest and most magical well in all the universe. If he is not cuming in your pussy and activating a billion or more years of connection to this shared energy with you and feeling you getting pregnant while in the orgasmic moment that is connecting him to you while you have also aroused your connection such that you suspended together beyond space and time in your connection to this infinite energy of creative magic; then if that or its nearest facsimile is not what is happening and instead he is cuming in your mouth, there is a different infinite magical energy you are responsible for learning how to navigate together. The magical power of creation being drunk and creating connection through that magical elixir. You have within you a similar connection and channel that sucking my cock can activate.

Some men are not well attuned to the realm of the infinite that swims all around us. Others need to dance with the love of their life in it because it is there that they feel most alive.

It is a common misconception that only bad girls get punished. In fact, that discipline is important for all girls. It is what makes them into good girls.