I Was Digging Around TF2 Sound Files And I Thought These Were Pretty Cute So I Compiled Them. Rare Sound

Some random terrified Brit: I have witnessed literally the most disturbing and horrifying thing ever. I saw a giant distorted shape crawl out of the shadows, oozing pus and staring at me with unblinking eyes all over its body, and it started spitting rotted teeth at me and then it began to slowly eat my skin and now I can’t sleep at night because every time I close my eyes I see an apparition of this monster by my bedside ready to feast on my flesh again

Jonathan Sims, in a monotone voice: fucked up if true

I'm not crying, you are.

The Rusty Quill twitter continues their fine tradition of going right for the throat.

Oh...SO WAS NO ONE GONNA TELL ME THAT ANNABELLE CANE HAD A LISP?

That's not healthy for me guys, that gave me and heart attack, I love her so much-

So... How do I feel about Jonathan Sims trying to clear Elias Bouchard's name because he did nothing wrong other than smoke weed, have a very weird job interview and become the recipient for that pompous voyeur that goes by the name Jonah Magnus?

*crying* G-Good. I'm not having feelings for the bastard man, you are. Shut up.

And I know it could've just been Jon trying to just go all: "That is not correct. Because according to the encyclopedia of 👁️✨"

But let me just i m a g i n e.

reasons why i wish corazon was still around:

1. so law can scream whenever he wants

2. PIGGYBACK RIDES

If your reflection is missing

1. Do not touch the mirror. If you have already touched the mirror, SKIP TO STEP 15 IMMEDIATELY.

2. First, make sure that your reflection is really gone. Make sure that you are visible. If you are not visible, the lack of a reflection is normal.

3. Check another mirror to see if your reflection is there. If so, the mirror without a reflection is simply broken and needs replacement.

If you have confirmed you are visible and your reflection is gone from all mirrors:

4. Do not touch the mirror.

5. Fill a bowl with water. Overnight, leave it at the base of the mirror nearest to your bed.

6. When you wake, if the bowl is empty, your reflection simply has business elsewhere for a while. You may rest knowing your reflection will return when they are ready.

7. If the bowl is still full, your reflection has been taken.

If your reflection is gone:

8. Be ready. They may come for you.

9. Prepare for a journey. With your reflection gone, you may pass through the mirror, but first, be sure you are prepared.

10. Bring food and water. Beyond the mirror, eat or drink nothing unless it has specifically been offered to you. Dying of hunger or thirst is better than the alternative.

11. Tie one end of a ball of string around your ankle, and the other to something on this side of the mirror, like the foot of your bed. This will not help, but sometimes reassurance is necessary.

12. Do not trust what your eyes or ears show you. Count the number and direction of each step you make. Make no marks. Take nothing with you. Leave nothing behind.

13. What state you find your reflection in will vary. I cannot advise you on this. Trust your instinct. Do not trust them.

14. Follow the steps you made back to the mirror. Do not let your reflection ahead of you. They will be grateful for your rescue, but they may still try to leave, trapping you in their place.

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY TOUCHED THE MIRROR:

15. I’m sorry.

16. Try to wash the chrome off your hands. You will not succeed.

17. Wait. Be ready.

18. They are coming for you. There is nothing you can do.

19. I’m sorry.

More guides

A guide to sleeping

How to Sneak Food from the Kitchen at Night

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scout’s VA brings us that A+ phrasing as always

Give me a fic where Garp does his damnest to find a photo of Ace’s mother to give it to him for his birthday. Give me a fic where Ace goes to Baterilla and finds an old midwife who remembers his mother and quietly talks about her will to keep her son safe. Give me a fic where an old man with a flower on his head would sometimes visit the South Blue to keep an eye on his late captain’s beloved and son. Give me a fic where Buggy challenges all pirate-hopefuls attempting to go to the Grand Line and stopping short when he sees Ace’s freckles and eyes.

Give me a fic where he pulls him aside and asks his name, and breaks down crying as he hugs him and chants underneath his breath, “You’re alive, you’re here, you’re alive.” Give me a fic where it’s Buggy that tells him about the Roger Pirates, about his fool of a captain, about his longsuffering first mate, of his annoying fellow cabin boy, and of his captain’s lover with a red hibiscus on her hair always. Give me a fic where Shanks fights the urge to hug Ace and wrap him up with his cloak the moment he sees him in the cold. Give me a fic where Ace shyly asks stories of his mother, but doesn’t hate his father as much as he did before.

Give me a fic where Rayleigh gets up from his seat and swims all the way to Marineford, because he’ll be damned to just watch and have another loved one (although Ace doesn’t know him) die when he can do something. Give me a fic where Buggy swoops in to carry Ace and Luffy somewhere far away from the war, all the while screeching at his Vice-Captain, “What took you so long!?” and mentally willing Shanks to show the fuck up already. Give me a fic where Ace is watching all the people who love him battle in the war and win, because he’s safe and in the Moby with his brother crying all over him and wrapped twice around his torso.

Give me a fic where Rayleigh, Buggy and Shanks stand off in the middle of the battlefield, all hackles raised and weapons and fists glinting black with haki. Give me a fic where the entire world trembles in anticipation for the upcoming clash, where Whitebeard gurarara’s with unbridled glee, where Sengoku feels fear, and where Garp grins with reckless abandon for everyone to see. Give me a fic where Law has to treat two human patients with the Dark King waiting in his submarine. Give me a fic where Buggy and Shanks argue while waiting for them to wake up. Give me a fic where Ace wakes up to dozens of happy faces smiling down at him, filled with joy upon seeing him awake.

Give me a fic where Crocus speeds towards them in Amazon Lily, hoping beyond hope that Ace didn’t get his father’s illness. Give me a fic where everything hurts but will be alright, where there are as much as tears as there are to peals of laughter. Give me a fic where everyone hugs Ace and ruffles his hair and claps his back and welcomes him with open arms.

Give me a fic where a flock of crows suddenly circle above them and a blonde man with a top hat comes flying down with the face of a brother thought lost and tears in his eyes. Give me a fic where the ASL become whole once more and are reunited without one of them never having the chanceto know the other was actually alive. Give me a fic where Garp comes weeks later and engulfs his grandsons in a hug and nearly burns his coat of justice in the pit, only to be stopped by Luffy who grins at him like he’s never known pain and forgives him wholly.

Give me a motherfucking fic where Ace gets what he deserves. Or I’ll write it myself.

Lovers?