So... How do I feel about Jonathan Sims trying to clear Elias Bouchard's name because he did nothing wrong other than smoke weed, have a very weird job interview and become the recipient for that pompous voyeur that goes by the name Jonah Magnus?
*crying* G-Good. I'm not having feelings for the bastard man, you are. Shut up.
And I know it could've just been Jon trying to just go all: "That is not correct. Because according to the encyclopedia of đïžâš"
But let me just i m a g i n e.
A Nightmare on Elm Street but Freddy tips his fedora and says "m'lady"
"I see"
"Be seeing you"
There's a joke about an eye roll in here somewhere...
"I donât quite get those two. I suppose what theyâve done, seeing what theyâve seen⊠itâs a hell of a bond." I thought that with the Eye's power you would be better at seeing things like this one
But then again, you haven't seen how much Martin's been trying to get closer to you, so I should've expected that.
THEY'RE GAY, ARCHIVIST-
God, Basira, I just want to hug the shit out of you.
"How the hell did I end up having to save the world?" Dear I don't have the slightest clue, other than Elias Bouchard being a dick and involving you and your girlfriend into this mess.
Melanie being awkward is adorable, but then she monologues about her violent tendency and thoughts against Elias...
I am worried.
Like, Miss King, please, PLEASE. I know Elias Bouchard is, as you said, and asshole, but please don't.
I know that at least two entities feed on violence and FUCK I DON'T WANNA LOSE ANYONE TO THEM-
"Good luck, John. I do hope you win." Good Melanie! :)
"...But I also hope it hurts." Bad Melanie! :(
I love every single Martin interaction.
EVERY SINGLE ONE.
Baby! Dear! Don't worry! It's normal to feel scared!
 "I need them to be safe, I need him to be okay. So-sorry, umm." Don't say sorry, dearie, you just made my day, don't say sorry-
Oh, okay Daisy, good talk. :)
Getting ready to kick some plastic ass!
God, seeing Tim this fiery and passionate is SO GOOD, but, as I said for Melanie, PLEASE DON'T DO DUMB SHIT.
"Iâm gonna hurt them, though. Iâm gonna hurt the thing that stole my brother and wrecked my life." UHHHH, TIM?! PLEASE DON'T DIE-
"Iâm the distraction. If it looks like any of the circus folk, mannequins, whatever, are gonna see the others, Iâm to make the biggest mess I can, draw them away, keep them busy." TIM, LOVE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE TODAY, ARE YOU?!
"I donât expect Iâm going to be coming back from this. I donât know if I want to."
TIM NOOOOOOO-
mercs with STACKED titties, built like brick shithouses:
medic
heavy
soldier
mercs that are beefy:
demo
engie
pyro
obviously a little built bc mercenary but kinda twigs:
scout
sniper
literal twig, chest is concave, flies out the window like a napkin when you leave the car window down
spy
I have decided that one of my favorite things about the Magnus Archives is that the one of the only unsexualized monsters or creatures (whether by the fandom or in the show) is the Vampires. I've literally never seen anything even mentioning them in a sexual or even romantic light. We were all collectively like "hnngnh seggsy hallway wife and husband đ„”â„ïžđł werewolf cop lady step on me đïžđ© clown wife pls take my skin đ€Șâ„ïžđ€Ą oh vampire cool igđ Where is my eyeball dilf at đïžđïžđ„”đ prentissđwormđmeđpls đ„șđ„șâ„ïž"
I'm late for the thursday, but not for the crying.
It's Thursday, you know what that means! *Cries over a podcast that ended weeks ago*
Guys⊠GUYSâŠ
GUYS
ITâS ACEâS HAND IN THE SONG MACHINE INTROSÂ
You know what I'm going to say...
"APOLOGIES FOR THE DECEPTION"?! REALLY?!
You have to do a lot more for me to accept the apology, Jonah.
My favourite word used to describe Jon in a fic is âcoltishâ. Iâve seen it used twice, maybe three times, and every time has been a delight because I think it just sums him up nicely
Physically it gives an impression of being kind of skinny and gangly, disproportionate and all leg, but still smaller than youâd expect
Emotionally itâs like âshould... should that thing be able to move? I donât think it should be able to walk let alone- oh god itâs coming this way-â
fake dating
omniscient narrator who immediately contradicts the characters (âThis is fine,â she said. It was, in no way, shape, or form, fine.)
deadpan jokes while swordfighting
the âI FUCKING LOVE MY WIFEâ guy
oblivious pining that slowly escalates until A is going on page rants about how pretty Bâs eyes are but still doesnât seem to recognize theyâre in love
Strong Leader Type having to physically fall down in order for the other characters to see how exhausted they are
funny villains who talk and make jokes with their heroes while theyâre fighting them
the villains presented as the protagonists
*increasingly pulls out bigger and bigger weapons from more unlikely places*
âI said all of your weaponsâ *pulls out more*
âALL OF THEMâ *pulls out one last tiny dagger*
traumatized character using humor to cover up ptsd
characters going out for a break at a restaurant/movie/whatever and something bad happening
using the â*gasp* whatâs that over there???â trick to avert the enemyâs attention and it working
a villainâs weakness being something totally random and nonsensical
a hero duo arguing over whoâs the sidekick while fighting a villain
âdonât be silly, we donât need [important thing]â  âyou lost it, didnât you?â âyeahâ
âwhatâs the one thing I told you not to do tonight?â  âraise the deadâ  âand what did you do?â  âraised the deadâ
âI think that went pretty wellâ *explosion in the distance*
Call me Alias | Pansexual | She\He\They - It if you're feeling funky | Theater kid and proud | Name a fandom and see if i don't freak out...i dare you. | I occasionally post stuff, so don't mind me, pals. Enjoy!
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