Shutup Shutup Jon And Martin Are On A Farm With Cows They Are ON A FARM WITH COWS AND THEYRE HAPPY SHUTUTPTKFLKGKFKFJFNGNN

So, um,,,

Was no one gonna tell me that Salesa has a voice THAT beautiful? No wonder this man's had so many clients! With his voice alone he could sell me almost anything-

Jonathan Sims, you skeptical little archivist, I love you so much but stop discrediting every statement you come across.

Big Boy Man Scared

One of the dumbest animatics I’ve made probably 

Give me a fic where Garp does his damnest to find a photo of Ace’s mother to give it to him for his birthday. Give me a fic where Ace goes to Baterilla and finds an old midwife who remembers his mother and quietly talks about her will to keep her son safe. Give me a fic where an old man with a flower on his head would sometimes visit the South Blue to keep an eye on his late captain’s beloved and son. Give me a fic where Buggy challenges all pirate-hopefuls attempting to go to the Grand Line and stopping short when he sees Ace’s freckles and eyes.

Give me a fic where he pulls him aside and asks his name, and breaks down crying as he hugs him and chants underneath his breath, “You’re alive, you’re here, you’re alive.” Give me a fic where it’s Buggy that tells him about the Roger Pirates, about his fool of a captain, about his longsuffering first mate, of his annoying fellow cabin boy, and of his captain’s lover with a red hibiscus on her hair always. Give me a fic where Shanks fights the urge to hug Ace and wrap him up with his cloak the moment he sees him in the cold. Give me a fic where Ace shyly asks stories of his mother, but doesn’t hate his father as much as he did before.

Give me a fic where Rayleigh gets up from his seat and swims all the way to Marineford, because he’ll be damned to just watch and have another loved one (although Ace doesn’t know him) die when he can do something. Give me a fic where Buggy swoops in to carry Ace and Luffy somewhere far away from the war, all the while screeching at his Vice-Captain, “What took you so long!?” and mentally willing Shanks to show the fuck up already. Give me a fic where Ace is watching all the people who love him battle in the war and win, because he’s safe and in the Moby with his brother crying all over him and wrapped twice around his torso.

Give me a fic where Rayleigh, Buggy and Shanks stand off in the middle of the battlefield, all hackles raised and weapons and fists glinting black with haki. Give me a fic where the entire world trembles in anticipation for the upcoming clash, where Whitebeard gurarara’s with unbridled glee, where Sengoku feels fear, and where Garp grins with reckless abandon for everyone to see. Give me a fic where Law has to treat two human patients with the Dark King waiting in his submarine. Give me a fic where Buggy and Shanks argue while waiting for them to wake up. Give me a fic where Ace wakes up to dozens of happy faces smiling down at him, filled with joy upon seeing him awake.

Give me a fic where Crocus speeds towards them in Amazon Lily, hoping beyond hope that Ace didn’t get his father’s illness. Give me a fic where everything hurts but will be alright, where there are as much as tears as there are to peals of laughter. Give me a fic where everyone hugs Ace and ruffles his hair and claps his back and welcomes him with open arms.

Give me a fic where a flock of crows suddenly circle above them and a blonde man with a top hat comes flying down with the face of a brother thought lost and tears in his eyes. Give me a fic where the ASL become whole once more and are reunited without one of them never having the chanceto know the other was actually alive. Give me a fic where Garp comes weeks later and engulfs his grandsons in a hug and nearly burns his coat of justice in the pit, only to be stopped by Luffy who grins at him like he’s never known pain and forgives him wholly.

Give me a motherfucking fic where Ace gets what he deserves. Or I’ll write it myself.

Y’all asked for it so y’all gonna get it! I’mma start off with the barebones essentials and work my way to basic definitions. Sit down on something comfy and get yourself your warm beverage of choice and maybe grab a notebook because here goes.

What are runes?

Runic alphabets have been around since about 150 AD and used as a writing system by a lot of Germanic languages. These systems were eventually phased out, slowly but surely, with the progressive Christianisation that started around 700-1100 AD. The three most commonly known (and used?) Are the Elder Futhark, the Younger Futhark and Futhorc.

Runes aren’t, themselves, broadly meant for divination, thought there are a few passages in the Eddas that mention Odin “finding” and using them.

Alright, so which alphabet should I use?

Whichever one you want! I prefer using the Elder Futhark, because it’s the first alphabet I learned and got familiar with, but that doesn’t at all stop you from using the Younger Futhark or Futhorc. I’d heavily suggest making sure you read up on the differences in each alphabet though; Ansuz, for example, won’t look the same, mean the same or even be called the same from one alphabet to another. 

Familiarize yourself with each of them if you want/can, and choose based on your own preferences and criteria. Always work with what feels best for you!

But I’m not really familiar with Germanic traditions / I’m a baby witch, should or can I use runes for divination?

This is the concept that got my goat real good the first time. You do not, in any way, shape or form, need to be experienced to cast runes. This is a notion that is outdated and perpetuated by gatekeepers and exclusionists. No one gives a flying flip how long you’ve been practicing witchcraft, or if you even practice at all!

Divination should be seen as a tool to further yourself and/or your craft. It can be used by itself or in conjunction with other activities, practices or beliefs. I was 15 when I started learning about runes (dear god that was literally over ten years ago) and I had no idea what I was doing back then. I read up as much as I could about the system I was wanting to use and, once I was comfortable with it, I started doing small readings.

It shouldn’t matter how new or familiar you are to divination, rune casting or Germanic traditions. If rune casting feels right to you, you are more than free to use whatever divination method feels right to you.

What should I do before I start a reading?

As a Norse Pagan, I usually invoke my patron deities (Baldr and Loki, in this case), as well as Odin and Freyja, sometimes Gullveig/Heiðr because reasons. I have no idea whether or not this has any actual bearing on the reading itself, as mine were as accurate before I converted as they are now.

Making sure you’re in a quiet and/or comfortable space is also a good idea, even if that just means popping in some earphones and listening to something that makes you focus and feel calm.

This is also a good time to mention that cleansing your runes (stone, bone, wood or otherwise) is a very good idea. I typically do this with candles, incense, a bowl of water and a point of quartz for each element. I don’t do this nearly as often as I probably should, since most people suggest cleansing them after each reading… but, whatever, being lax with that hasn’t bitten me in the ass so far. So if you’re a spoonie, don’t worry: cleanse your runes when you feel they need to be cleansed, and that’s it.

Alright, I think I’m ready; how do I start reading?

Let me start by saying that the bullshit about never reading yourself? It’s just that. Bullshit. Do readings on yourself if you want to. Who the hell is going to stop you. Do whatever you want.

On that note, there are a few ways to cast runes, though these probably aren’t close to being the only ones: 

Intuitively choosing the stones Lay the runes down on a flat surface and let your hand hover over them and pick out the ones that feel right. You can either pick them in order of the spread you’re using, or place the runes where you feel they belong on the spread.

Throwing the stones Make sure you have a large flat surface to work with (preferably the floor honestly) where you won’t drop, scatter or lose a rune. You can use a mat underneath, and read the stones that fall on the corresponding positions in the spread or circle. (You can find many of these with a quick google search, or make your own mat!) Otherwise, you can take the first stones you see facing up and lay those out according to your spread.

Picking them blindly Either you or the person you’re reading pull stones blinding out of a pouch, bag or other container, and lay them out according to the spread you’re using. Pretty straightforward.

If you can think of another method, literally nothing is stopping you from using that instead. The runes are acting as a universal translator for whatever it is you’re tapping into. They’re just a tool to receive a message. How you choose to receive that message is completely up to you!

So I’ve got my runes laid out, now what?

Now comes the fun part. I can only really give you a good run-down of the Elder Futhark, and though it’s a good starting point, I would highly advise you do your own research on whatever alphabet you want to use. Wikipedia is a great place to start, but don’t stop there: look at several different websites and lists and compare. Combine and condense the information for yourself, and get to learn the definitions and meanings for yourself!

ᚠ Fehu • catle wealth, money, hard work paying off, can represent spiritual wealth reversed: effort gone to waste, natural and/or financial loss, greed

ᚢ Uruz • ox physical strength and speed, great energy, courage, masculine reversed: physical weakness, illness, violence, misdirected aggression

ᚦ Thurisaz • thor reactive, destructive and/or defensive force, tendency towards change reversed: dangerous compulsions, betrayal and malice, lies, spite

ᚨ Ansuz • of the Æsir  revelations, intuition, signs and signals, wisdom, power of words/names reversed: misunderstandings, delusions and vanity

ᚱ Raido • chariot physical/spiritual journeys, transition, seeing the bigger picture reversed: crisis, maybe due to stagnation, unwanted disruption

ᚲ Kaunan • torch creativity and inspiration, power of transformation, power of life reversed: instability, lack of creativity, false hope revealed, disillusionment

ᚷ Gebo • gift gifts in the form of sacrifice or generosity, contracts, partnerships reversed/opposed: greed, isolation and dependence, over-sacrifice

ᚹ Wunjo • joy comfort, pleasure, companionship, possibility of going over the top reversed: sorrow and alienation, growing distance, raging frenzy

ᚺ Hagalaz • hail wrath of nature, destruction for the sake of creation, natural order reversed: natural disasters, powerlessness, suffering

ᚾ Naudiz • need strength/growth from hardships, survival, determination reversed: deprivation and emotional starvation, constraints/restraints

ᛁ Isaz • ice challenges and frustration, psychological block, anticipation reversed/opposed: can oppose other runes with malice and treachery 

ᛃ Jera • good year hard work is fruitful, peace, happiness and relief, breaking the cycle reversed: sudden setbacks and bad timing

ᛈ Pertho • vagina secrets, mysteries, undiscovered abilities, choosing your own path reversed: stagnation, isolation and loneliness

ᛇ E/ihwaz • yew tree strength, stability, endurance, trustworthiness, your goal is realistic reversed: confusion, dissatisfaction and weakness of the mind

ᛉ Algiz • elk shield, the instinct to protect yourself/others, connection to the gods reversed: hidden dangers, loss of link to the divine, turning away

ᛊ Suwilo • the sun success and goals achieved, you have the power you need to succeed reversed/opposed: deception, false goals, gullibility, divine wrath

ᛏ Tiwaz • tyr honour and leadership, authority, success in competitions reversed: artistic block, over-analysis and sacrifice, imbalance/conflict

ᛒ Berkana • birch tree fertility in a broad sense, personal/physical growth, new beginnings reversed: family/relationship issues, anxiety over loved ones, abandon

ᛖ Ehwaz • horse steady and gradual progress, teamwork/loyalty, relationships reversed: reckless haste and its consequences, restlessness

ᛗ Mannaz • mankind the self, the human race, your attitude toward others and vice-versa, social awareness, altruism reversed: mortality, self-deception, cunning and manipulation

ᛚ Laguz • water literal/metaphorical flow, imagination, the unknown, chance of loss reversed: confusion/uncertainty, may be making the wrong choice

ᛝ Ingwaz • probably freyr warmth and love in general, tying loose ends, relief, freedom to move reversed: moving without change, fruitless effort, helpelessness

ᛞ Dagaz • dawn breakthroughs and clarity, security, power to change and grow, the ideal reversed/opposed: endings and coming round full circle

ᛟ Othila • inheritance ancestral property, what is most important, spiritual heritage and safety reversed: slavery, homelessness, bad karma, what one is unwillingly bound to

Phew! What a list. These are just brief descriptions and meanings that I’ve been able to compile and condense over the years.

But, what does “opposed” mean?

I see where you’re coming from. As a baby diviner, I, also, was confused by this. But let me explain how I’ve come to understand it! 

Sometimes, if you’re doing a set spread, you’ll have a spot for things like, “what will oppose you”, or “what you need to avoid”. Things like that. If, say, a rune like Suwilo was found in something like that, you’d want to try and keep a sharp mind to avoid deceptions or letting yourself be too gullible.

When runes don’t have a reversed form, their position in your spread will usually determine what they mean. (Though really this is true for literally any rune.)

Anything else I should know?

The best advice I can ever give anyone is to always do what you feel is right. If you find yourself wondering, “Should I do this? Is this right?” If you question yourself at all, you should probably not to the thing and go with something else.

It’s also important to mention that the names I have for the runes may not be the ones that you’ve learned to know them by; a lot of runes can go by different names depending on who you ask and where you look. Do your research, and know the runes by the names you feel are best! (And preferably historically accurate.)

As always, if you have any questions regarding runes and how to read them, please ask me! My ask box is literally always open and almost always empty.

ᚺᛖᛁᛚᛚ ∙ ᛟᚲ ∙ ᛋᛇᛚᛚ

Pros and cons and dating the avatars of each entity

The Vast

Pros: Literally the best romantic dates ever. Picnicking in the middle of wide-open skies, or giant lakes that stretch on and on forever.

Cons: Kissing at terminal velocity is not as fun as it's cracked up to be.

The Corruption

Pros: Loves you with an intensity. Very clingy. Very touchy-feely.

Cons: You will live in a literal rat's nest.

The Eye

Pros: Knows all your likes and dislikes, knows exactly what you're feeling and what to say and do to make you happy.

Cons: For some reason soon after you start dating them all your computer privacy settings stop working.

The Spiral

Pros: Knife hands! Doors! Corridors! Slowly losing and questioning your sanity the more you spend time with them! Being unsure if they even exist! Fractals! Patterns! What's not to like??

Cons: None!

The Buried

Pros: The blanket forts...... all the blanket forts.......

Cons: Loves the dirt more than they love you.

The Desolation

Pros: Hot.

Cons: Hot.

The Stranger

Pros: They buy so many skin products that your skin will be almost unnaturally smooth after dating them for a few months. Dances with them are great.

Cons: The number of mannequins in the house is starting to get disturbing.

The Dark

Pros: They snap their fingers and the lights instantly go off. Candlelit romance anytime, anywhere.

Cons: There are only so many conversations you can have about the "beauty of the dark sun" until dinner talk grows stale. Will definitely try to convert you to their creepy cult.

The End

Pros: Pulls off the goth aesthetic extremely well, if you're into that.

Cons: Constantly reminds you that you're either going to break up, get married or die, and muses aloud their speculations about which one it'll be. Also, the only album they ever listen to is MCR's Black Parade.

The Flesh

Pros: Very interesting good in bed.

Cons: You will constantly find yourself sighing, "Jason, tell me the truth. Did you cook human meat for dinner AGAIN?!"

The Hunt

Pros: Extremely passionate kisses. Almost ravenous, you could say.

Cons: furry :/

The Slaughter

Pros: cute when they angy!

Cons: You tried to make a "you're not you when you're hungry" joke once and they nearly stabbed your eye out.

The Web

Pros: I mean who doesn't love extra eyes and legs?

Cons: "vriska did nothing wrong"

The Lonely

Pros: Will give you space whenever you need it. Maybe more enthusiastically than you'd want.

Cons: Wants to see you so little you're not even sure whether you're in a relationship anymore. You talk to them once every three weeks. Embarrasses you at the annual Institute party.

what the heck does “bloody fruit shop owner” even mean

Thank you, Jinbe, for being an absolute cutie.

jinbe is #1 luffy fan

murdoc better step up to the plate and throw on that little sailor ensemble he wore in phase 3 or else the whole ‘return to plastic beach’ would be for nothing