Martin "I Have Had To Lie About Much Of My Life In Order To Get By And At Some Point I Just Started Adding

So, I just begun listening to the Magnus Archives Podcast; and even if I could stay here hours to talk about how much I love it already, I'm here to be my dumbass self:

I'm here to talk about the episode 16: "Arachnophobia"

The first thing you gotta know about why I feel like this about this episode, is that I'm in no way shape or form arachnophobic; I love spooders with all my heart and to me, they're only the arachnid equivalent of the danger noodles (which I also love, but I'm not here to talk about this).

Second thing is that when I'm scared, I try to empathize with the villain and not the protagonist of the horror I'm watching, or in this case, listening to.

In this Episode, Carlos Vittery explains how he moved to this flat to find the thing he had been fleeing from: spiders.

But tell me, just tell me, that I wasn't the only one to think how good must've felt the spider the second Carlos saw him on the TV screen.

I just imagine Carlos trying to grasp at his sanity while this little shit just makes fortnite dances on his tv screen, while giving him a metaphorical middle finger.

You know what I'm going to say...

"APOLOGIES FOR THE DECEPTION"?! REALLY?!

You have to do a lot more for me to accept the apology, Jonah.

Guys… GUYS…

GUYS

IT’S ACE’S HAND IN THE SONG MACHINE INTROS 

o h b o y

So... Unfortunately, I am a monsterfucker and the elephant man in episode 1 somewhat...

Intrigues me.

this is one of the best things i watched all week

Please have 8.5 minutes of (some of) my favorite Martin moments because I!! Love him with My Whole Being!!! jonny sims could not have more custom tailored a character for me if i had asked

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

what the heck does “bloody fruit shop owner” even mean

tainted love but scout