Omg We Are Both Fucked In The Head Wanna Make Out

gagging you with our red string of fate to shut you up for one fucking second

bisexuality tutorial for beginners easy

doing research on white wine for a thing and can we back up for a second on that last one???

"I had a wife but they took her in the divorce" is a Groucho Marx level joke. pure vaudeville. it's semantically perfect, blisteringly fast, and completely efficient. just an unbelievable stroke of genius which was apparently a complete accident. you could tell this joke onstage at any period in history between probably 1500 and now and get a genuine guffaw

manhandling is so fun like sure u can put me over there i don’t mind

*penis starts throbbing* my arch nemesis is near…

everyone always asks "where did you get that information" and "why are you covered in blood" but nobody ever asks how was the time loop was the time loop fun it looked fun

Had a dream last night that i was a knight and this bigger scarier knight had me on the ground and right before he swung his sword at my neck he said smth like "i mourn the loss of life for the tree who will become your coffin" which shouldnt have turned me on like it did but alas

commuting to the bit. yeah ill be there in about 40 minutes just keep stalling