It’s Been So Long Since I’ve Felt Affection I’ve Legit Stopped Having Romantic Crushes Or Fantasies.

end the stereotype that you have to have been married to be divorced

Tch, you're pretty good. But once I've memorized your attack pattern, we're making out sloppy style

commuting to the bit. yeah ill be there in about 40 minutes just keep stalling

its friday if i see any dissent i will be silencing it

“no rapping tonight"

why?

"you rap about arthurian knights everytime, it's embarrassing"

ok

[after one beer]

uh oh y'all i go into a trance a lot

women keep coming up to me giggling and blushing and running their finger along the edge of my mighty greatsword like STOP theres literally evil afoot

I dreamed the Pope announced a new deadly sin called 'sluttony' and everybody was really excited to try it.

women & bitches love my cavern

"I had a wife but they took her in the divorce" is a Groucho Marx level joke. pure vaudeville. it's semantically perfect, blisteringly fast, and completely efficient. just an unbelievable stroke of genius which was apparently a complete accident. you could tell this joke onstage at any period in history between probably 1500 and now and get a genuine guffaw

one thing about me i’m the leaver. i will leave