I Made Some Blobs For Yall

thinking abt kms 24/7 just to not be able to do it for a girl i love

god i wanna kms so badly but i know how much itd hurt her, ik how upset she’d get, how it would crush her world and ruin her life and id do fucking, literally fucking anything for that girl, literally anything, she asks me to not kms, she asks me to stay and its not just her asking me to, she makes me wanna try and fight too, i just, i get so tired and when i get tired i have no energy to fight, i have no energy to push it away or let go of it, i give in, im tired

im so tired, im so ready to give in again and attempt again, i literally just did last monday, i freaked out i had to have her tell me to stop so i didnt actually kms, i wish i wouldve at least sent myself to the hospital from the damage but im not even good enough for that

i cant help but think that my attempts are good enough because i never sent myself to the hospital i always had the power to stop myself but what the fuck does that make me? a fucking big ass pussy, a faker, a fraud

god, just, fucking kill me please im so so tired

The Secret History Translation Masterlist

i was going to put this on a spam account but then decided to put it on a public one. who knows, maybe someone will benefit from it! if i’ve made any mistakes, do let me know

à moi. l’histoire d’une de mes folies (to me. the history of one of my follies or my turn. the tale of my madness)

quod erat demonstrandum (it can be shown)

cubitum eamus? (will you sleep with me?)

consummatum est (it is done)

hoi polloi. barbaroi [the many/majority. barbarian (person who doesn’t speak greek)]

bei nacht und nebel (at night and in fog)

deprendi miserum est (it is wretched to be found out)

khairei (hello)

bakchoi (initiates)

cuniculus molestus (annoying rabbit)

arrectis auribus (attentively/ears peeled)

dormir plutôt que vivre (sleep rather than live)

dans un sommeil aussi doux que la mort (in a sleep as sweet as death)

requiescat in pace (rest in peace)

n’est-ce pas (isn’t that so)

amor vincit omnia (love conquers all)

raison d’être (reason for existence)

nihil sub sole novum (there is nothing new under the sun)

quel plaisir de vous revoir (what a great pleasure to see you again)

genis gratus, corpore glabellus, arte multiscius, et fortuna opulentus (smooth-cheeked, soft-skinned, well-educated and rich)

dénouement (outcome)

salve, amice (hello, friend)

valesne? (are you well?)

quid est rei? (what is the matter?)

benigne dicis (i thank you)

bureau de tabac (tobacco store)

Χαλεπά τά καλά (beauty is harsh)

mais, vrai, j’ai trop pleuré! (oh, truly, i have wept too much!)

les aubes sont navrantes (the dawns are heartbreaking)

hinc illae lacrimae (hence those tears)

sic oculos, sic ille manus, sic ora ferebat (such eyes, such hands, such looks)

it is her smile, her feet wading in the waters, her laugh which reaches his ears and, oh, this is the spirit of the artist, is it not?  

yeah this fic killed me guys

The Beatles, 1964:

John- The Smart one

George- The Quiet one

Paul- The Cute one

Ringo- the drummer

The Beatles, 2023

John- The Gay one

George- The Bitchy one

Paul- Lesbian Woman

Ringo- the drummer

did YOU KNOW i cant draw cats

Odasaku's last words were exactly what Dazai needed to hear. And were the ONLY thing that could have freed him from the Mafia and, set him on the path to the light

“You should know this yourself. No matter whether you’re on the side of killing people or saving people, there will never be anything that can surpass your mind. There is no place in this world that can fill your loneliness. You will linger in the darkness forever.”

I've seen lots of people complain that Oda is being too cruel here, that he is destroying Dazai's hope that he could be better. BUT ITS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE! The next paragraph in the light novel shows exactly why.

At this moment, Dazai realised for the first time.

Odasaku understood him far beyond what Dazai had ever thought. He had already reached close to his heart, the place near the centre of his heart. Before this, Dazai had never noticed there was someone who understood him so well.

For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted to know something from the depths of his heart. Hence, he brings up the question to the person before him.

“Odasaku… I… What should I do?”

Dazai truly believes deep down, that he is fundamentally broken; that he is not a human being, he is terrified of any hope that he might be able to find a reason too live because everything he wants is lost to him the moment he attains it.

If Oda had said "Dazai, you can be a good person if you try" or "Your human just like everyone else" Dazai would not have accepted it, he might have tried for Oda's sake, but he would not have seen how deep Oda's understanding of him was and thus would not have asked him that crucial question:

“Odasaku… I… What should I do?”

It's because Oda understands that Dazai cannot except his humanity that he can set Dazai on the right path. He does not tell Dazai that he will find a reason to live if he saves people, because Dazai would never believe that. instead he tells him that it will be a little more beautiful, which Dazai can hold onto and follow, and hopefully find that reason to live himself, without Oda telling where it can be found.

“Since both sides are the same, become a good person. Save the weak, protect orphans. Regardless of whether it’s justice or evil, to you, there isn’t a big difference between the two… But, doing that would be better.”

“How do you know that?”

“I know, I know this better than anyone else.”

Dazai looked at Odasaku’s eyes.

Odasaku’s eyes were filled with conviction. The words were clearly said with some sort of strong basis. was it past experience? Or perhaps someone’s suggestion? —He was trying to show Dazai the path he once walked. Dazai understood this.

Dazai could trust it.

“I understand… I’ll do that.”

Oda understood Dazai, deeply and truly, better then anyone else ever has and maybe ever will. His description of Dazai shows that perfectly:

"He's sharp witted with a mind like a steel trap. And he's just a child━a sobbing child abandoned in the darkness of a world far emptier than the one we're seeing."

He saw him for both the genius he is and the child he pretends not to be, and was the only person to ever reach both half's of Dazai's soul, he was his friend, simply and truly. The only one he ever had.

if someone says they watch dead apple for the plot, they're lying, because I've never met anyone ever who understood the plot of that movie

You hate when people see you cry because you want to be that strong person. At the same time, though, you hate how nobody notices how torn apart and broken you are.

when an entire team of scientists kept chuuya trapped in their lab to experiment on him. when the sheep used chuuya as a weapon and means of protection. when dazai wanted chuuya to be his dog. when he wanted chuuya to be his maid. when rimbaud attempted to turn chuuyas dead body into a puppet to use it as a weapon. when mori had chuuya swear his undying loyalty to him after making sure he had no one else to turn to. when verlaine tried to kill every person who chuuya had an attachment to so he could make chuuya rely on solely him. when professor N brought chuuya back into the lab to continue his experiments. when fyodor had chuuya turned into a mindless vampire to get him on his side. the innate bsd character urge to own chuuya

Reblog this if you ship rare pairs!