What Part Of...
What part of...
... “I don’t want kids,” does no one understand?
Seriously, I am getting so sick of having to reiterate myself to people when I tell them I don’t want kids and they insist I’ll change my mind.
I especially find it strange that they never ask about whether I want to get married (and they most certainly never think of the implications if I were to marry a woman - which for the record, I am straight, but I’m assuming that they’re assuming that even if I was gay I would find a way to have kids anyway).
It just makes me wonder if men ever have to deal with this or if it’s purely sexual stereotyping on women, even though we are in the 21st century.
So let me make it clear: just because I am a woman and I do want to get married someday does not mean I want to have kids.
Nor, in this advanced and liberated and non-apocalyptic (meaning there’s not a shortage of human beings populating the Earth) should it still be assumed/encouraged/pressured upon by women to have kids at all! In an age of casual sex, pro-choice, and lack of a zombie breakout, why is it that people assume that all women will want to have kids? (apparently regardless of whether or not they state they want to get married or what their sexual orientation is, as I mentioned earlier).
Personally, I don’t want kids. And to be clear, it’s not because I hate them.
I actually do like kids and in my chosen field of work, I interact with a lot of them on a daily basis. But just because I like kids and I’m good with them shouldn’t mean that I automatically want any of my own.
For me, having kids would mean giving up all of my dreams. I have plans and goals and aspirations: for my art, my writing, and my career.
I know myself well enough to understand that I put 200% of my energy into the things that matter to me. Which means for me, if I were to have kids, I would be devoting all of my time to them, leaving no room for my art, my writing, or my career.
And I don’t want that.
Which might sound selfish, but am I really being selfish to hypothetical kids that don’t even exist?
Yes, I want to create art and literature and environments where children can learn, grow, and be inspired by, but that shouldn’t mean that I need to have any of my own.
Somehow, it seems that declaring you don’t want kids is something that must be rectified by those around you (and yet, declaring you never want to get married isn’t as looked down upon).
Now, to be fair, most of the interactions I’ve had that inspired this was with generations older than me and primarily those people were from... certain areas of the country. But I’ve still had people from all over tell me I’ll change my mind and that just irks me to no end.
In conclusion...
I DON’T WANT KIDS AND IT’S WRONG OF PEOPLE TO TRY AND PRESSURE ME INTO CHANGING MY MIND!
So am I the only one who’s had this problem or are there other people out there that are just as fed up as I am?
More Posts from Anazen333 and Others
Plus Size Stigma - Hetro Pairings
If you’ve read my previous post, concerning the cookie cutter body types commonly found in romance novels, and my plan to subvert them, then you know my “type”.
In a nutshell, I find Asian men highly attractive. And for quite a few reasons, most of which I can’t really explain, and quite frankly, shouldn’t have to. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes and their personal tastes are just as varied.
Sure, I could probably attribute several qualities to certain influences.
I really like Anime/Manga art and those guys tend to be thin/lithe, have no butts, and little to no mouth definition. And Asian men in real life tend to have beautiful cheekbones.
I also grew up with a father who, though Latino, can sometimes be mistaken for a Southeastern Asian man. And I am fortunate to have a father who has loved and cherished me my whole life, and I still respect to this day.
And while it’s hard for me to NOT find any given Asian man attractive, that doesn’t mean they’re my only type. Basically anyone who is thin, lacks a defined butt, has little lips, possesses defined cheekbones, and is under 5’10, I’m going to find highly attractive. But they don’t have to have all those features for me to find them attractive.
But there are two features that instantly turn me off. And no, they weren’t influenced by the media.
I have two male relatives to blame for my instinctual aversions.
As a little girl, I was constantly on edge around these two men. Because they had violent, unpredictable tempers. And growing up, I witnessed and was the focus of several outbursts from them.
I never felt safe around them, even when someone else was there.
So in my child brain, I connected safety - when concerning men - into two camps.
Short, thin men were safe. Because my father, who I always felt safe around, was short and thin.
Tall, large men were unsafe. Because those two relatives with the dangerous tempers were over 6 feet and on the large side.
So what’s the problem I face?
It’s that by traditional media and body positivity advocates, I, as a plus size woman, am not allowed to find big guys unattractive. And subsequently, not want to date them.
The media says, “what fit man is going to want you, a fat girl? Never mind that you eat right and do martial arts. The fact that you’re healthy doesn’t mean a skinny guy is going to give you a glance because you aren’t a size 2.”
The body positivity advocates say, “how can you have such double standards? You’re a plus size woman. It’s unfair for you to reject guys just because they’re plus size, too. You’re buying into the media’s propaganda.”
And it makes me feel guilty. Even though logically I know I shouldn’t have to be.
Plus size men end up with thin women all the time. So why is the opposite rejected?
And does that mean I will never find love or have to force myself to change when I shouldn’t have to in the first place?
Meme tag thing!
Tagged by @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city, because someone knows I love doing these things so much xD (that’s not sarcasm, I truly enjoy these random ‘tag list meme’ things)
Rules: Tag people you’d like to get to know better/catch up with
Three Ships in any order: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra), Tsukimi/Shū (Princess Jellyfish), Barbra/Strickler (Troll Hunters) - I fan-girl squee so hard whenever I see any of these couples together >w<
Last Song: Bad Romance (Medieval Style Cover by Hildegard von Blingin') - This randomly popped up in my YouTube feed suggestions and now I’m in love with this cover xD
Last Movie: Treasure Planet - Because I’ve realized there are a lot of Disney animated movies that I enjoy as an adult way more than I ever did as a kid, mainly the ones that weren’t as popular when they came out. Now I feel bad for not liking them when I was younger.
Currently reading: ..... O////O, not sure if I have the guts to share that on the Internet. It’s nothing scandalous but since it’s one of my guilty pleasures I feel, well, a little guilty and more than a little mortified at the thought of anyone finding out.
Currently watching: Wars of the Roses Documentary by Timeline - Since working at home, I’ve been watching a lot of documentaries in the background while I work, because I’ve been assigned projects that is so mind numbing I can do it and learn about how monarchies were seriously messed up in the sense that a lot of them came and/or stayed in power because of brutal decapitations.
Currently consuming: Toaster oven s’mores - Not quite as good as the real thing, but they’ll do in a pinch. I should also mention that instead of chocolate bars, I’m using baking chocolate chips (milk chocolate) because they were way cheaper.
Food I’m craving right now: My papi’s carne asada - My neighbors are Hispanic and have been barbecuing for the past week and it’s making me miss my family so much because it smells like home! :(
Tagged: @spectrumelf @spirogs-blog @acrinn45
10 songs I love (in no particular order)
Tagged by my bestie @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city
1) Ai no Melody by KOKIA
2) Stay for Awhile by Amy Grant
3) No Culture by Mother Mother
4) Marian the Librarian from The Music Man
5) No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine
6) I’ll Set You Free by The Bangles
7) Recuérdame by Natalia Lafourcade
8) (If You’re Not in it for Love) I’m Outta Here by Shania Twain
9) Memories by Within Temptation
10) Shoot Him Down! by Alice Francis
https://forest-mt.seekrtech.com/
Was tagged by @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city .
And sadly I have to admit getting this result didn’t happen on the first try. But in my defense, a lot of the questions had multiple answers I would have chosen. Thus, I kept getting results that didn’t sound like me at all (the first one I got said I was a born leader. HA! Anyone who knows me well is aware of how much I hate taking charge)
But I didn’t finally get one that sounded the most like me; and it has my favorite flower to boot!
Tagged by my bestie @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city for another fun tag game :3
soft: 7/20
baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night
dark academia: 10/20
neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story
edgy: 6/20
closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing (but not doing it) | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks
70s: 5/20
colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding
peppy casual: 7/20
collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colourful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairylights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details
@a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city Saw this and thought of you :3
I really wish there was a way for me to just have access to all of Starcream’s sassy moments in the IDW comics xD
Ah, Steve. How are you doing without your favorite second in command right now? Especially considering Dreadwing doesn't have as nearly nice legs as Starscream does ;)
My all time favorite quotes of Hardison and Elliot showing support for Parker (S02E13 - the Future Job)
Tara: “He is good.”
Hardison: “He should be shot.”
Parker: “…cut off his arms. And his head. Yeah, I wanna kill him. Can we make that happen?”
Elliot: “Yeah, I can. I mean, I could…” (heavily implies murder)
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Just random stuff that pops into my head or tends to circulate through my brain.
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