Plus Size Stigma - Hetro Pairings
Plus Size Stigma - Hetro Pairings
If you’ve read my previous post, concerning the cookie cutter body types commonly found in romance novels, and my plan to subvert them, then you know my “type”.
In a nutshell, I find Asian men highly attractive. And for quite a few reasons, most of which I can’t really explain, and quite frankly, shouldn’t have to. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes and their personal tastes are just as varied.
Sure, I could probably attribute several qualities to certain influences.
I really like Anime/Manga art and those guys tend to be thin/lithe, have no butts, and little to no mouth definition. And Asian men in real life tend to have beautiful cheekbones.
I also grew up with a father who, though Latino, can sometimes be mistaken for a Southeastern Asian man. And I am fortunate to have a father who has loved and cherished me my whole life, and I still respect to this day.
And while it’s hard for me to NOT find any given Asian man attractive, that doesn’t mean they’re my only type. Basically anyone who is thin, lacks a defined butt, has little lips, possesses defined cheekbones, and is under 5’10, I’m going to find highly attractive. But they don’t have to have all those features for me to find them attractive.
But there are two features that instantly turn me off. And no, they weren’t influenced by the media.
I have two male relatives to blame for my instinctual aversions.
As a little girl, I was constantly on edge around these two men. Because they had violent, unpredictable tempers. And growing up, I witnessed and was the focus of several outbursts from them.
I never felt safe around them, even when someone else was there.
So in my child brain, I connected safety - when concerning men - into two camps.
Short, thin men were safe. Because my father, who I always felt safe around, was short and thin.
Tall, large men were unsafe. Because those two relatives with the dangerous tempers were over 6 feet and on the large side.
So what’s the problem I face?
It’s that by traditional media and body positivity advocates, I, as a plus size woman, am not allowed to find big guys unattractive. And subsequently, not want to date them.
The media says, “what fit man is going to want you, a fat girl? Never mind that you eat right and do martial arts. The fact that you’re healthy doesn’t mean a skinny guy is going to give you a glance because you aren’t a size 2.”
The body positivity advocates say, “how can you have such double standards? You’re a plus size woman. It’s unfair for you to reject guys just because they’re plus size, too. You’re buying into the media’s propaganda.”
And it makes me feel guilty. Even though logically I know I shouldn’t have to be.
Plus size men end up with thin women all the time. So why is the opposite rejected?
And does that mean I will never find love or have to force myself to change when I shouldn’t have to in the first place?
More Posts from Anazen333 and Others
Favorite Sonic 30th Anniversary Moments 💙🦔💨
Just a random peeve of mine I discovered:
I think guys that are of average height but lanky with pianist hands, prominent cheekbones, soulful brown eyes, soft tenor voices, and who are studying Neural Engineering shouldn’t be allowed to work at the Genius Bar at Apple stores…at least not when they’re fixing on my malfunctioning iPad.
Seriously, it’s not fair that a guy I would have dreamed up to be the perfect love interest in one of my stories actually shows up in real life.
Was tagged by my bestie, @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city to do the 3 Fictional Characters I Honestly Would Say I’m the Most Alike.
And honestly, this was HARD. Because it’s very rare that I find anyone in fiction that I can actually relate to. I’m not a pure girly-girl but I’m not a tough-as-nails biker chick either. I’m a strange mix of leather and lace. But after much searching I did find three girls that I’ve related to more than anyone else.
First up is Evie O’Connell, from the Mummy movies (just the first two, I refuse to acknowledge the subsequent films). Evie represents the adventuring academic in me. She may seem too bookish to be out in the field, but it’s wise not to let her innocent demeanor fool you. She will fight for what’s right and she’ll probably have a lot of random facts in her arsenal to do it. She has a great love for history but balances it evenly with the present. And sometimes she’s just a little too curious for her own good, though thankfully for me, it tends to be on a smaller scale.
Next is Moonshade from the Elfquest comics (before the Final Quest volumes because her character in that arc was a complete switch from the one I came to know and love). Moonshade is both my artistic side and my old fashioned self. She loves creating things in many mediums, particularly outfits, and likes to incorporate new elements from the places she’s been in her designs. But even though she enjoys experiencing new things, she will never bend her beliefs and what she knows to be right, even if it means alienating herself from others. She tends to hold grudges against people who have wronged her or anyone she cares for, demonstrating a loyalty that will never break.
And lastly, but probably the one I identify with the most, is Entrapta from the Netflix She-Ra. Entrapta is my easygoing, socially inept geek self. She accepts everything and everyone at face value, seeing them in a positive light until proven otherwise. She’s passionate about the things she enjoys and tends to get single minded when it comes to her projects, with her likes seeming rather strange to many others. She may technically be an adult but mentally she’s still a kid at heart, and so has trouble reading more nuanced situations. She has difficulty in making friends and connections with people because she wants to please them, to fit in, but at the same time, she yearns for someone who accepts her and praises her for who she truly is.
I found it very interesting that the girls I chose seem so different at first glance. But at their cores, they all care deeply about the people in their lives and will do anything to help and protect them, even if it means putting themselves in the line of fire. They are passionate about what they love and tend to dedicate so much time and effort into those interests, often showing their love by sharing the fruits of these labors with the people they value most.
And they all seem to have a thing for misunderstood loners ;3
Tag to anyone who wants to do this for fun!
After re-watching the Prince of Persia on Disney+, I’d like to think for their honeymoon, Dastan took Tamina to The Valley of the Slaves to watch the ostrich races and hear about the Ngbaka ❤️
No healing for this curvy girl in Bridgerton season 3 (slight spoilers)
I was so looking forward to this season and seeing a woman with curves get honest to goodness romantic sex scenes.
For so long the sex scenes with curvy girls in film have been shown with a tone of humor or disgust or pity.
And Bridgerton season 3 was supposed to change all of that. Except it didn’t. Not for me, anyway.
Because while other Bridgerton heroines have been stripped clean of their clothes, with their entire body on full display, Penelope was not.
In all her scenes she was never completely undressed save for one brief moment that isn’t even shown fully. We get one quick glimpse of her glorious bosom and then she delegated to being covered up with a blanket. Colin goes so far as to pull the blanket to cover her up more at one point!
We don’t get to see her beautiful curves. They’re continuously hidden like it’s a shameful thing to show a woman whose waist isn’t small, with a stomach that jiggles, thighs that don’t fit neatly in a man’s hands, and breasts that aren’t small and perky.
What I got out of Bridgerton season 3 is that yes, you curvy girls can have a love interest who isn’t also plus size, but only because he thinks you’re interesting, not because you’re beautiful. And yes, being interesting is going to last longer than beauty, but is it too much to ask to be both?
It seems even today on a super progressive show, the answer is still “yes”.
Tag Writing Meme
Was tagged by @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city (and totally didn’t see it for reasons I cannot fathom).
“Rules: REPOST DON’T REBLOG! Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and I’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!”
(I have no idea what the difference is between Reposting and Rebloging, or exactly what an ‘ask’ is btw)
So I’ve actually got quite a few WIPs that I’m working on. Some are finished and just need editing, others have been outlined and I’m getting them down right now, and some are still just rough ideas that I want to do in the near future.
In no particular order:
Immortal Souls: Hand of the Sun Queen
Life of the Shadow Thief
The Little Princess of Light
Frost
Original Fairy tales
Reaching for Heaven
Luck Running Out
Captivated Captive
Beauty’s Beast
The Dragon’s Damsel
Tag: Anyone who wants to participate!
What needs to happen in She-Ra before it ends...
...in my opinion.
What I’d really like, more than anything, is for these two to be cannon and get a happy, non tragic ending.
BECAUSE I SHIP THESE TWO SO HARD! THEY’RE JUST SO ADORABLE!!!!
So what I want is for She-Ra to heal Hordak. Because if she can save Shadow Weaver from near death, SURELY she can cure Hordak of some clone imperfection thing and then these two can live happily ever after! I DO NOT want them ending up like Komugi and Meruem (HunterxHunter).
THEY’RE TOO CUTE TO DIE TRAGICALLY!
Some of My Favorite Autistic (or ASD coded) Characters : Girls
Mirabel Madrigal - Encanto (2021)
Parker - Leverage (2008)
Webbigail "Webby" Vanderquack - Ducktales (2017)
Kaywinnet Lee "Kaylee" Frye - Firefly (2002)
Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan, Ph.D. - Bones (2005)
Peridot - Steven Universe (2013)
Lilo - Lilo and Stitch (2002)
Entrapta - She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Rosa Díaz - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)
Bella Brown - This Beautiful Fantastic (2016)
Princess Luna - My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (2010)
Lunella Lafayette aka Moon Girl - Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (2023)
Yor Forger - Spy x Family (2019)
Maomao - The Apothecary Diaries (2011)
Marcy Wu - Amphibia (2019)
Elle Woods - Legally Blonde (2001)
I will say this for Dune, it’s gotten some pretty sweet cover designs over the years
To the late diagnosed ASD community:
How many of you were misdiagnosed the first time?
How many of you felt that your assessor wasn’t taking you seriously?
What sort of tests did they do? What sort of questions did they ask? And did they make sense in relating to ASD, especially in adult women?
What did you do after the assessment when you were told everything seems normal? And that you were just experiencing mild forms of anxiety and showed slight traces of OCD?
What do I do when I've done so much research, heard so many stories from people in the ASD community and related to them so well, used their knowledge and experience to help me get through my daily life a litter easier, only to be told by a professional that I'm not Actually Autistic?
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Just random stuff that pops into my head or tends to circulate through my brain.
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