Some Of My Favorite Autistic (or ASD Coded) Characters : Girls

Artist Pet Peeve

I hate it when there’s a group of artists (in shows or a class) and they’re given a clear set of rules/expectations, BUT, there’s one arrogant twit who gets high marks/gets to stay in the competition despite NOT following the brief. Simply because they’re talented/showcase cool skills.

I’m sorry, but if I was a client and had commissioned someone for a particular piece, but they gave me something that was the result of their own tastes, I’d fire them and demand a refund, or at least have them do it over!

Giving these artists a pass isn’t going to help them grow, and it certainly isn’t going to prepare them for the real world.

(This rant was the result of me watching Blown Away season 2 and remembering several art classes I took in college - that eventually caused me to switch majors because the teachers were terrible at teaching).

Me when comparing attractive men with my best friend:

And then this is my response to her picks:

This + Him

Results in this =

You cannot change my mind

Things Fundamentalism Robbed Me Of:

Growing up in a radically conservative Christian household, there were a lot of things that weren’t allowed. It wasn’t until after leaving the “faith”, and then taking time to fully deconstruct things, that I realized just how negatively it affected me.

Part 1: Special Interests

I’m autistic. And part of my autism is having special interests (that I obsess over to a degree that most neurotypical people think is ridiculous). But for me, my special interests bring me such joy and excitement and pleasure in my life. A lot of the time they’re what helps me get through a tough day (and quite frankly, a tough world for me to live in).

When I discovered anime and manga, it was like cotton candy for me. The art styles, the animation techniques, the manga layouts, the characters, the vast array of generes, the easy to understand emotions portrayed - it was like this entire type of media had been designed just for me.

But one look at it, and my mom forbid me from watching and reading any of it. Because it was too “demonic” or “sexual” (EX. Inuyasha-taking major inspiration from Japanese mythology. Sailor Moon-for showing off too much skin). Basically, it wasn’t Christian, and thus, sinful.

Part 2: Body Image

Another special interest of mine is fashion/costume design. Growing up, though, it was subjected to strict guidelines. All because I had to make sure I wasn’t causing a “brother in Christ to sin”.

Which, as a person who went from children to adult sizes almost instantaneously, not to mention grew into a curvy girl, made clothes even more of a touchy subject.

All of my outfits had to be inspected by my mom to make sure they weren’t too tight or revealing or even have a print that was too suggestive, before they could be purchased.

Because of this, I was never able to feel pretty. I was never allowed to think of my body as attractive, let alone sexy.

Whenever I designed outfits or costumes in my sketchbooks - using a very curvy model as a way to feel like my body could be beautiful if given the chance - my mom would tell me to “fix” them because they were too sexualized.

Part 3: Cultural Identity

I’m a proud Latina woman. My father and his family immigrated to the USA when he was a kid. Spending time with his side of my family are some of the happiest memories I have.

But because of the radically conservative beliefs of my parents (or maybe just mostly my mom’s, since I can’t recall if my papi ever setting any of this taboos), I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Día de los Muertos.

This may seem like a small thing, like not being allowed to celebrate Halloween (which we weren’t allowed to do either, and for the same reason as Día de Muertos), but when I found out about it as an adult, I was heartbroken that such a beautiful tradition was banned because it was deemed “pagan”.

In Short:

I was robbed of so much because of fundamental christianity.

I can’t help but wonder how my life would have been different if I had been allowed to embrace major aspects of myself: my autism, my body type, my heritage.

Part of me is always going to mourn the years I lost. And I wish, more than anything, that I could go back and tell my younger self - the little girl who lived in fear and was forced to live by beliefs set by privileged white men - that one day, she would be FREE.

Put up a picture of an Aston Martin, suddenly remembered the TFP Tunnel Vision episode and felt ill all over again. When will something good happen to KO?!?!?!?!?!?!

Random Autistic Problem

I hate the fact that my brain has moments of “I want to be super productive today”, but then my body gets in the way by insisting I need food even though my stomach doesn’t feel hungry.

So I’m forced to quickly find something filling that I don’t want to eat and choke it down just to get on with the things I do want to do.

Which is annoying because eating certain foods is a stim for me (like the crunch then yield of a well cooked potato wedge). And cooking those good foods takes time and I don’t have the right mindset to make them (they are their own event that I would like to enjoy at a later time when I don’t have the “productive brain” running).

But if I don’t eat something that shuts my stomach up, I can’t concentrate on anything.

WHY BRAIN WHY?!?!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I’M SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!!!!!

PRAISE THE ALIEN LORDS SHE HAS RETURNED!!

And you know what that means……

RAZAYA REUNION!!!

What part of...

... “I don’t want kids,” does no one understand?

Seriously, I am getting so sick of having to reiterate myself to people when I tell them I don’t want kids and they insist I’ll change my mind. 

I especially find it strange that they never ask about whether I want to get married (and they most certainly never think of the implications if I were to marry a woman - which for the record, I am straight, but I’m assuming that they’re assuming that even if I was gay I would find a way to have kids anyway).

It just makes me wonder if men ever have to deal with this or if it’s purely sexual stereotyping on women, even though we are in the 21st century.

So let me make it clear: just because I am a woman and I do want to get married someday does not mean I want to have kids.

Nor, in this advanced and liberated and non-apocalyptic (meaning there’s not a shortage of human beings populating the Earth) should it still be assumed/encouraged/pressured upon by women to have kids at all! In an age of casual sex, pro-choice, and lack of a zombie breakout, why is it that people assume that all women will want to have kids? (apparently regardless of whether or not they state they want to get married or what their sexual orientation is, as I mentioned earlier).

Personally, I don’t want kids. And to be clear, it’s not because I hate them. 

I actually do like kids and in my chosen field of work, I interact with a lot of them on a daily basis. But just because I like kids and I’m good with them shouldn’t mean that I automatically want any of my own.

For me, having kids would mean giving up all of my dreams. I have plans and goals and aspirations: for my art, my writing, and my career. 

I know myself well enough to understand that I put 200% of my energy into the things that matter to me. Which means for me, if I were to have kids, I would be devoting all of my time to them, leaving no room for my art, my writing, or my career.

And I don’t want that.

Which might sound selfish, but am I really being selfish to hypothetical kids that don’t even exist?

Yes, I want to create art and literature and environments where children can learn, grow, and be inspired by, but that shouldn’t mean that I need to have any of my own.

Somehow, it seems that declaring you don’t want kids is something that must be rectified by those around you (and yet, declaring you never want to get married isn’t as looked down upon).

Now, to be fair, most of the interactions I’ve had that inspired this was with generations older than me and primarily those people were from... certain areas of the country. But I’ve still had people from all over tell me I’ll change my mind and that just irks me to no end.

In conclusion...

I DON’T WANT KIDS AND IT’S WRONG OF PEOPLE TO TRY AND PRESSURE ME INTO CHANGING MY MIND!

So am I the only one who’s had this problem or are there other people out there that are just as fed up as I am?

Just found this browsing. Nearly screamed my head off. Good thing the action figure is on its way right now or else I would be going through cardiac arrest from lack of sexy Knockout-ness!