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... “I don’t want kids,” does no one understand?
Seriously, I am getting so sick of having to reiterate myself to people when I tell them I don’t want kids and they insist I’ll change my mind.
I especially find it strange that they never ask about whether I want to get married (and they most certainly never think of the implications if I were to marry a woman - which for the record, I am straight, but I’m assuming that they’re assuming that even if I was gay I would find a way to have kids anyway).
It just makes me wonder if men ever have to deal with this or if it’s purely sexual stereotyping on women, even though we are in the 21st century.
So let me make it clear: just because I am a woman and I do want to get married someday does not mean I want to have kids.
Nor, in this advanced and liberated and non-apocalyptic (meaning there’s not a shortage of human beings populating the Earth) should it still be assumed/encouraged/pressured upon by women to have kids at all! In an age of casual sex, pro-choice, and lack of a zombie breakout, why is it that people assume that all women will want to have kids? (apparently regardless of whether or not they state they want to get married or what their sexual orientation is, as I mentioned earlier).
Personally, I don’t want kids. And to be clear, it’s not because I hate them.
I actually do like kids and in my chosen field of work, I interact with a lot of them on a daily basis. But just because I like kids and I’m good with them shouldn’t mean that I automatically want any of my own.
For me, having kids would mean giving up all of my dreams. I have plans and goals and aspirations: for my art, my writing, and my career.
I know myself well enough to understand that I put 200% of my energy into the things that matter to me. Which means for me, if I were to have kids, I would be devoting all of my time to them, leaving no room for my art, my writing, or my career.
And I don’t want that.
Which might sound selfish, but am I really being selfish to hypothetical kids that don’t even exist?
Yes, I want to create art and literature and environments where children can learn, grow, and be inspired by, but that shouldn’t mean that I need to have any of my own.
Somehow, it seems that declaring you don’t want kids is something that must be rectified by those around you (and yet, declaring you never want to get married isn’t as looked down upon).
Now, to be fair, most of the interactions I’ve had that inspired this was with generations older than me and primarily those people were from... certain areas of the country. But I’ve still had people from all over tell me I’ll change my mind and that just irks me to no end.
In conclusion...
I DON’T WANT KIDS AND IT’S WRONG OF PEOPLE TO TRY AND PRESSURE ME INTO CHANGING MY MIND!
So am I the only one who’s had this problem or are there other people out there that are just as fed up as I am?