Got Tagged By @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city . And I Suppose I Kinda Look Like The End Result... If I Had

Plus Size Stigma - Hetro Pairings

If you’ve read my previous post, concerning the cookie cutter body types commonly found in romance novels, and my plan to subvert them, then you know my “type”.

In a nutshell, I find Asian men highly attractive. And for quite a few reasons, most of which I can’t really explain, and quite frankly, shouldn’t have to. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes and their personal tastes are just as varied.

Sure, I could probably attribute several qualities to certain influences.

I really like Anime/Manga art and those guys tend to be thin/lithe, have no butts, and little to no mouth definition. And Asian men in real life tend to have beautiful cheekbones.

I also grew up with a father who, though Latino, can sometimes be mistaken for a Southeastern Asian man. And I am fortunate to have a father who has loved and cherished me my whole life, and I still respect to this day.

And while it’s hard for me to NOT find any given Asian man attractive, that doesn’t mean they’re my only type. Basically anyone who is thin, lacks a defined butt, has little lips, possesses defined cheekbones, and is under 5’10, I’m going to find highly attractive. But they don’t have to have all those features for me to find them attractive.

But there are two features that instantly turn me off. And no, they weren’t influenced by the media.

I have two male relatives to blame for my instinctual aversions.

As a little girl, I was constantly on edge around these two men. Because they had violent, unpredictable tempers. And growing up, I witnessed and was the focus of several outbursts from them.

I never felt safe around them, even when someone else was there.

So in my child brain, I connected safety - when concerning men - into two camps.

Short, thin men were safe. Because my father, who I always felt safe around, was short and thin.

Tall, large men were unsafe. Because those two relatives with the dangerous tempers were over 6 feet and on the large side.

So what’s the problem I face?

It’s that by traditional media and body positivity advocates, I, as a plus size woman, am not allowed to find big guys unattractive. And subsequently, not want to date them.

The media says, “what fit man is going to want you, a fat girl? Never mind that you eat right and do martial arts. The fact that you’re healthy doesn’t mean a skinny guy is going to give you a glance because you aren’t a size 2.”

The body positivity advocates say, “how can you have such double standards? You’re a plus size woman. It’s unfair for you to reject guys just because they’re plus size, too. You’re buying into the media’s propaganda.”

And it makes me feel guilty. Even though logically I know I shouldn’t have to be.

Plus size men end up with thin women all the time. So why is the opposite rejected?

And does that mean I will never find love or have to force myself to change when I shouldn’t have to in the first place?

Got tagged by @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city to shuffle my favorites playlist and list the first 10 :3

I did the playlist on my phone which sadly is an outdated version (new phone not being compatible with old computer-I’ve been saving up to remedy this), but I feel like the songs that popped up do give you an idea how eclectic I can be lol

1: “Soy Yo” by Bomba Estéreo

2: “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga

3: “Survivor” by 2WEI

4: “Cotton Heads” by Caravan Palace

5: “Someone You Like” by The Girl and the Dreamcatcher

6: “Bye-Bye” by Jo Dee Messina

7: “Renegade” by Stereo Dive Foundation

8: “Time After Time” by Estelle

9: “The Wolf” by Siamés

10: “Stay for Awhile” by Amy Grant

Beyond super stoked for this!!! xD

I made more Fighting-Tournament comics but I know it’s been a while so here’s what’s been going on! Now you’re up to speed! NOW READ MY COMICS!! Additional story points here! http://fav.me/d9sa6qy

Just a random peeve of mine I discovered:

I think guys that are of average height but lanky with pianist hands, prominent cheekbones, soulful brown eyes, soft tenor voices, and who are studying Neural Engineering shouldn’t be allowed to work at the Genius Bar at Apple stores…at least not when they’re fixing on my malfunctioning iPad.

Seriously, it’s not fair that a guy I would have dreamed up to be the perfect love interest in one of my stories actually shows up in real life.

The bipolar conversations heard when working in a library:

One minute someone is be thanked for making homemade coffee cake-

-and then two seconds later everyone is in a passionate discussion about decapitation vs hanging.

Basically, this is why working in libraries rocks.

Let’s save Rottmnt!!!

Denial Stage 1: Comatose

Denial Stage 2: “you’ll have to break the fingers off my cold dead hands to pry them away from me”

After crawling out of my Denial Coma, i’ve got fists and words to throw nick’s way

SO

Send your thoughts and feelings regarding the cancellation to @Nickelodeon with their feedback email feedback@nick.com 

tell them about how disappointed and frustrated the cancellation is, and about how difficult the treatment they put the show was, but be respectful. Throwing threats and rude comments is just going to invalidate any good points you make, and will likely lead them to just not read them

SECOND - request Rise on Netflix’s Request form every day 

https://help.netflix.com/en/titlerequest

The more requests they get, the more likely they are to try and acquire the license to stream Rise, and it would be even easier since the show is getting the Movie put on netflix. Bring that up too! How having the show alongside the movie on Netfix would be VERY beneficial.

and 3RD - don’t stop talking about Rise, keep it up. #SaveRottmnt or Nick has legitimately lost any and all respect i could have ever had for the company

i love you all and stay happy folks, the fight ain’t over - the crew wants to tell the rest of the story as much as we want to see

@nickanimation @netflix @nickelodeon

Kore Yamazaki : My Newest Idol

Yamazaki-sensei is a manga artist I really admire. I love the amount of detail she puts into her work - story and art, and how she can make even the most of the mundane seem magical. I haven’t admired an artist this much since Hayao Miyazaki.

And then I saw a photo of her and my admiration doubled.

Because it’s just so refreshing and validating to see a superstar of art not look like a glamorous hipster.

So many of the artists I admire look super well put together and almost all of them are thin. In fact, a lot of people I admire in the creativity fields are super thin and I guess I never realized how much that negativity affected me.

Feeling like I could never be as creative and successful as them because I’m not disciplined enough to put in the work to make myself glamorous and somehow that’s tied to my creative abilities and skill level.

An irrational thought, I know, but that’s how much the media has brainwashed me with it’s damaging messages of “if you’re not thin you can never be successful.”

I think it’s because it’s so rare for me to see pictures of any plus size artists and writers. And even then it’s even more rare to see anyone who has a face as round as mine.

So it was a thrill for me to see such a successful woman who looks a lot like me. And it’s especially gratifying to see a woman my age who doesn’t bother with makeup!

So thank you, Yamazaki-sensei, for being you, and inspiring the women who don’t fit the media mold.

No healing for this curvy girl in Bridgerton season 3 (slight spoilers)

I was so looking forward to this season and seeing a woman with curves get honest to goodness romantic sex scenes.

For so long the sex scenes with curvy girls in film have been shown with a tone of humor or disgust or pity.

And Bridgerton season 3 was supposed to change all of that. Except it didn’t. Not for me, anyway.

Because while other Bridgerton heroines have been stripped clean of their clothes, with their entire body on full display, Penelope was not.

In all her scenes she was never completely undressed save for one brief moment that isn’t even shown fully. We get one quick glimpse of her glorious bosom and then she delegated to being covered up with a blanket. Colin goes so far as to pull the blanket to cover her up more at one point!

We don’t get to see her beautiful curves. They’re continuously hidden like it’s a shameful thing to show a woman whose waist isn’t small, with a stomach that jiggles, thighs that don’t fit neatly in a man’s hands, and breasts that aren’t small and perky.

What I got out of Bridgerton season 3 is that yes, you curvy girls can have a love interest who isn’t also plus size, but only because he thinks you’re interesting, not because you’re beautiful. And yes, being interesting is going to last longer than beauty, but is it too much to ask to be both?

It seems even today on a super progressive show, the answer is still “yes”.

It's Official! I'm ASD!

And I couldn't be more happy! (which according to my family, is a strange reaction to have lol)

But all my life I've felt like an outsider looking in, and when I stumbled upon Autism, it gave me something I hadn't had before - a reason why I'm the way I am.

With each new fact I learned during my research, I grew more and more excited by how well I related to the ASD community. How their stories and tips made me feel more confident in myself to just be me, without having to constantly justify my 'strange' behavior.

And then I was finally able to get an official assessment done. I was so sure there would be no doubt that I was autistic.

But then the doctor went over her initial findings with me and it sounded like I was going to be misdiagnosed.

I was scared out of my mind.

Because I had been so sure of myself, for the first time in a long time. I had essentially laid my soul bare to someone and they were invalidating my feelings. And I wasn't sure what I was going to do if I was misdiagnosed.

Thankfully, that didn't turn out to be the case! (long story short, when sending the questionnaires out to other people, make sure you 1: give them to people you're sure know you. And 2: look over their responses, just to make sure they do know you well. Because it turns out, sometimes they don't).

I'm officially on the Autism Spectrum and thrilled to be zebra instead of a malfunctioning horse!

I have not cried happy tears of relief in soooooo long!