For today I have a parking pass for my place of work and NEVER have to take the bus again! (Unless, of course, my car is in the shop), but other than that!
Never again must I worry about catching the right bus. Never have to worry about being too early or too late. Forced to wait at a bus stop covered in graffiti and unspeakable human fluids in the rain, heat, and snow.
Never again do I have to worry about getting a seat, let alone getting a seat that provides me some semblance of personal space. I won’t have to put my bags on the seat next to me to insure some perv doesn’t force themselves upon me.
Never again will I be forced to listen to other people’s music and ticktock videos, babies wailing, and crotchety old men state their unwanted opinions loudly, as if we weren’t in a confined space and can’t hear them despite our headphones trying to drown them out.
Never again worry about unstable people causing scenes so violent and disturbing and mentally upsetting that I burst into a fit of tears and shakes the moment I’m able to get home and feel safe again.
Never again.
Just a random peeve of mine I discovered:
I think guys that are of average height but lanky with pianist hands, prominent cheekbones, soulful brown eyes, soft tenor voices, and who are studying Neural Engineering shouldn’t be allowed to work at the Genius Bar at Apple stores…at least not when they’re fixing on my malfunctioning iPad.
Seriously, it’s not fair that a guy I would have dreamed up to be the perfect love interest in one of my stories actually shows up in real life.
While I was working on my writing, I suddenly realized my first crushes have colored all my other crushes over the years. To the point that each of my main writing projects features a love interest that is influenced by said first crushes.
So, naturally, I had to sort them out. For reference purposes.
Kore Yamazaki : My Newest Idol
Yamazaki-sensei is a manga artist I really admire. I love the amount of detail she puts into her work - story and art, and how she can make even the most of the mundane seem magical. I haven’t admired an artist this much since Hayao Miyazaki.
And then I saw a photo of her and my admiration doubled.
Because it’s just so refreshing and validating to see a superstar of art not look like a glamorous hipster.
So many of the artists I admire look super well put together and almost all of them are thin. In fact, a lot of people I admire in the creativity fields are super thin and I guess I never realized how much that negativity affected me.
Feeling like I could never be as creative and successful as them because I’m not disciplined enough to put in the work to make myself glamorous and somehow that’s tied to my creative abilities and skill level.
An irrational thought, I know, but that’s how much the media has brainwashed me with it’s damaging messages of “if you’re not thin you can never be successful.”
I think it’s because it’s so rare for me to see pictures of any plus size artists and writers. And even then it’s even more rare to see anyone who has a face as round as mine.
So it was a thrill for me to see such a successful woman who looks a lot like me. And it’s especially gratifying to see a woman my age who doesn’t bother with makeup!
So thank you, Yamazaki-sensei, for being you, and inspiring the women who don’t fit the media mold.
Inspired by the great and might Starhorse. You can see her original brilliance here http://the-starhorse.deviantart.com/gallery/1060568
@a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city Saw this and thought of you :3
Tagged by my bestie @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city for another fun tag game :3
soft: 7/20
baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night
dark academia: 10/20
neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story
edgy: 6/20
closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing (but not doing it) | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks
70s: 5/20
colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding
peppy casual: 7/20
collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colourful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairylights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details
Just saw the season finale of Once upon a time. I had a feeling Emma's kiss would work on Henry. Was not expecting it to give back everyone's memories. I was sooooooo happy that Rumple and Belle found each other again!!! Didn't like that look he had on his face at the end though. That really worries me. I was hoping he would finally be a good guy. And just how is bringing magic to our world going to help him reunite with his son? (Latest suspicion: Baelfire wrote the fairy tales book)
If you’ve read my previous post, concerning the cookie cutter body types commonly found in romance novels, and my plan to subvert them, then you know my “type”.
In a nutshell, I find Asian men highly attractive. And for quite a few reasons, most of which I can’t really explain, and quite frankly, shouldn’t have to. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes and their personal tastes are just as varied.
Sure, I could probably attribute several qualities to certain influences.
I really like Anime/Manga art and those guys tend to be thin/lithe, have no butts, and little to no mouth definition. And Asian men in real life tend to have beautiful cheekbones.
I also grew up with a father who, though Latino, can sometimes be mistaken for a Southeastern Asian man. And I am fortunate to have a father who has loved and cherished me my whole life, and I still respect to this day.
And while it’s hard for me to NOT find any given Asian man attractive, that doesn’t mean they’re my only type. Basically anyone who is thin, lacks a defined butt, has little lips, possesses defined cheekbones, and is under 5’10, I’m going to find highly attractive. But they don’t have to have all those features for me to find them attractive.
But there are two features that instantly turn me off. And no, they weren’t influenced by the media.
I have two male relatives to blame for my instinctual aversions.
As a little girl, I was constantly on edge around these two men. Because they had violent, unpredictable tempers. And growing up, I witnessed and was the focus of several outbursts from them.
I never felt safe around them, even when someone else was there.
So in my child brain, I connected safety - when concerning men - into two camps.
Short, thin men were safe. Because my father, who I always felt safe around, was short and thin.
Tall, large men were unsafe. Because those two relatives with the dangerous tempers were over 6 feet and on the large side.
So what’s the problem I face?
It’s that by traditional media and body positivity advocates, I, as a plus size woman, am not allowed to find big guys unattractive. And subsequently, not want to date them.
The media says, “what fit man is going to want you, a fat girl? Never mind that you eat right and do martial arts. The fact that you’re healthy doesn’t mean a skinny guy is going to give you a glance because you aren’t a size 2.”
The body positivity advocates say, “how can you have such double standards? You’re a plus size woman. It’s unfair for you to reject guys just because they’re plus size, too. You’re buying into the media’s propaganda.”
And it makes me feel guilty. Even though logically I know I shouldn’t have to be.
Plus size men end up with thin women all the time. So why is the opposite rejected?
And does that mean I will never find love or have to force myself to change when I shouldn’t have to in the first place?
Just random stuff that pops into my head or tends to circulate through my brain.
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